Old Fart Advice

Old Fart Advice
Author: Michael J. Tate
Publisher: AuthorHouse
Total Pages: 180
Release:
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1546260323

James Burton “Captain Jimmy” Robinson served as an officer with the Rocky Mount, North Carolina, Police Department for over forty years. Join him and his lovely bride, Clara as they celebrate their fiftieth wedding anniversary at First Baptist Church with family and friends. Pull up a chair, have a seat and listen as the audience shares their special “OFA” moments with Captain Jimmy and Ms. Clara. After the experience, you should be entertained and enlightened, but above all else; your life should be influenced.

Herba Hoota Hound Dog Bird

Herba Hoota Hound Dog Bird
Author: Mike Tate
Publisher: AuthorHouse
Total Pages: 28
Release: 2014-03-27
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1491899751

Herba, the hound dog and Hoota, the eagle, lived along the Pamlico River in Bath, North Carolina. While playing one day, they became an unusual character named Herba Hoota Hound Dog Bird. Herba and Hoota travel throughout the book adjusting to their new body and learning how to use their super powers for good.

Fitness for Old Farts

Fitness for Old Farts
Author: Tim Plewman
Publisher: Penguin Random House South Africa
Total Pages: 265
Release: 2013-05-06
Genre: Cooking
ISBN: 1432302183

If you’re an Old Fart who needs to do something about your shape, or you’d like to help the Old Fart in your life shape up, this is the perfect book for you. If you’re engrossed by TV ads that claim that taking their pills will make your fat disappear or that strapping on and plugging in a device will shock your abs into shape, you’re an Old Fart. If you believe that by exercising your wallet you can look like that 20-something-year-old body builder in the ad, you’re an Old Fart. If money is no object, as long as getting into shape does not mean getting off the couch and actually exercising, then you are an Old Fart who needs to read this seriously funny book. It was after the death of yet another friend in his 50s due to heart failure, that actor/writer Tim Plewman and a group of his friends formed a ‘Fellowship of Old Farts’ to try to avoid a similar fate. Fitness for Old Farts is the outcome and proof that the programme they followed really does work. With humour and empathy, Tim provides practical and honest help to men over the age of 50 hoping to rediscover good health and a respectable physique, while still enjoying mealtimes. Using himself and his friends as role models on what can be achieved with the correct, progressive gym exercise programmes, as well as healthy food choices in the form of tasty and simple-to-prepare recipes, he goes right to the heart of the matter because he understands the problems, fears and motivations relevant to old farts. Tim Plewman’s Fitness for Old Farts will keep you in stitches.

An Old Farts Survival Guide

An Old Farts Survival Guide
Author: Ron Foster
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
Total Pages: 552
Release: 2018-11-21
Genre:
ISBN: 9781729813553

Survival tips written for (and by) "Old Farts" I decided to write down a bunch of timely woodlore tricks and preparedness advisement so they can be shared and remembered once more. Knowledge I have gained from a lifetime of prepping and preparing for disasters and how to live easier through hard times are explained within this book. I bet all of us aging seniors who are of the prepper mindset or of a survivalist bent, as well as many younger folks less knowledgeable, want to know about the same things we do regarding eating well and dying easier after a mega disaster. That is survival knowledge that we will need to know and rely on should the electrical grid ever go down and stay down. Considering just how unreliable all this newfangled technology can be and the fact that new threats are always appearing on the horizon, it is not a far stretch to say our dependency on technology is putting our very survival or daily existence in jeopardy. We need to try to get back to our old school mindsets now and learn more about the woods or country living that some of us may have forgotten about, or some of us never learned growing up to begin with. Whether or not you are just learning basic preparedness for the first time or remembering many an old camping trip or military deployment, there is plenty to learn here. The contents of this book will teach you long term survival and food procurement with and without, using anything but the cheapest gear best suited for the task. Even if you are on a strict fixed income and have a few minor physical disabilities' I have a plan for you and one that won't cost much at all to sustain you for a year or more. This book will teach you some awesome things like how to catch a fish with a twig, use nothing but a pencil sharpener to light a fire in wet woods and make a fish hook or animal trap, heat your house with the sun and a sewage line, open a can of food on the curb without a can opener, heat your house with a garbage bag, light a fire with a rain drop, defend yourself against a wild dog attack, spend a dollar on a tool that can feed you the rest of your life or spend a hundred dollars on a piece of gear that could feed you and your family for a year using common easy applicable food procurement skills in any suburban backyard or forested wood lot. You will learn the skills that some of us old timers who are still kicking around will use for surviving long term and would like to be taught to the next generation. Things that are good to know, like how to take a cardboard box, a baking bag, a piece of string and catch your own dinner, cook it and boil and purify water using those three items. This book will teach you more than a few things you might not know yet, but you should for old fart survival purposes! Let us try to outlive and out think them young heathens or at least hang around long enough to teach them a better way to survive themselves!

Release Your Inner Old Fart

Release Your Inner Old Fart
Author: Mark Leigh
Publisher: Michael O'Mara Books
Total Pages: 143
Release: 2012-08-24
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1843179946

Hilariously cynical and gloom-laden, this book contains diatribes, rants, anecdotes and advice for Old Farts everywhere.

Farley Farts

Farley Farts
Author: Birte Müller
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 30
Release: 2024-03-05
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 0735845468

Everyone’s favorite tushy-tooting frog is back! A humorous story for silly kids who erupt in laughter at the word FART! Farley the frog has a problem—he can’t stop farting. While his sister thinks it’s funny, his parents and his teacher are not amused. The doctor says it’s only gas and it will pass. The trouble is, it does! Comic pictures and a tongue-in-cheek text relate how Farley and his family learn that it’s better to fart and bear the shame than not to fart and bear the pain!

Joy Write

Joy Write
Author: Ralph Fletcher
Publisher: Heinemann Educational Books
Total Pages: 120
Release: 2017
Genre: Education
ISBN: 9780325088808

"A writer needs wide latitude so she can bring all her intelligence to the task," Ralph observes. "Assigning a particular format -- a hamburger essay, for instance -- would curtail this play, if not eliminate it entirely." That's why, instead of teacher-driven assignments, Joy Write shares the whys and the how of giving students time and autonomy for the playful, low-stakes writing that leads to surprising, high-level growth. First Ralph makes the case for carving out classroom time for low-stakes writing, despite pressure to focus on persuasive essays and test prep. Then he shares five big ideas for choice-driven, authentic, informal writing -- deeply engaging work that kids want to do. He also provides numerous suggestions for helping students build and flex their writing muscles, increase their stamina, and develop passion for expressing themselves with the written word. -- Provided by publisher.

Super Mario

Super Mario
Author: Jeff Ryan
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 322
Release: 2012-09-25
Genre: Business & Economics
ISBN: 1591845637

The definitive story of the rise of Nintendo. In 1981, Nintendo of America was a one-year-old business already on the brink of failure. Its president, Mino Arakawa, was stuck with two thousand unsold arcade cabinets for a dud of a game (Radar Scope). So he hatched a plan. Back in Japan, a boyish, shaggy-haired staff artist named Shigeru Miyamoto designed a new game for the unsold cabinets featur­ing an angry gorilla and a small jumping man. Donkey Kong brought in $180 million in its first year alone and launched the career of a short, chubby plumber named Mario. Since then, Mario has starred in over two hundred games, gen­erating profits in the billions. He is more recognizable than Mickey Mouse, yet he’s little more than a mustache in bib overalls. How did a mere smear of pixels gain such huge popularity? Super Mario tells the story behind the Nintendo games millions of us grew up with, explaining how a Japanese trading card company rose to dominate the fiercely competitive video-game industry.

Let It Rip!

Let It Rip!
Author: Amy Nystrom
Publisher:
Total Pages: 48
Release: 2020-12-09
Genre:
ISBN: 9781634894036

Let It Rip! The Art of the Fart takes children readers as travelers around the world, under the sea, and up into space, teaching about gas everywhere, including gas and individual beings. Through our host, Fluff the Fart, we come to understand that farting makes us a part of everything; we learn how gas has an impact on climate change; we even learn how to say fart in different languages! Let It Rip! The Art of the Fart is chock full of relatable kids--every reader will identify with at least one! Delightful characters entertain and educate young (and old) kids about Fartiquette--the etiquette of farting--as if it is no big deal; and teach us the most important rule of all, which is: Always remember to say 'Excuse me!' Let It Rip! The Art of the Fart is a charmingly illustrated children's survival manual with specific advice on how to deal with farting, AND how to transform fart-based isolation, rejection, and shame into everyday life skills. Accompanied by expressive illustrations, this journey turns one of the (formerly) most dreaded bodily functions, The Fart, into a well-timed, normal, and acceptable behavior. Let It Rip! The Art of the Fart is a must-read for anyone who farts. Back of Book People. Animals. Machines. Planets. What do these things have in common? They all fart! Let It Rip! travels around the world, under the sea, and up into space, teaching young readers about gas in relation to our diets and to climate change, and even how to fart in different languages. Learn about fartiquette--the etiquette of farting like it's no big deal--including the most important rule of all . . . Don't forget to say Excuse me!

Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress and Fart Proudly

Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress and Fart Proudly
Author: Benjamin Franklin
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
Total Pages: 36
Release: 2016-11-30
Genre:
ISBN: 9781540750587

Included in this edition are two of Benjamin Franklin's humorous essays. "Advice to a Friend on Choosing a Mistress" is a letter by Benjamin Franklin dated June 25, 1745 in which Franklin counsels a young man about channeling sexual urges. Due to its licentious nature the letter was not published in collections of Franklin's papers in the United States during the 19th century. Federal court decisions from the mid- to late- 20th century cited the document as a reason for overturning obscenity laws. "Fart Proudly" (also called "A Letter to a Royal Academy", and "To the Royal Academy of Farting") is the popular name of a "notorious essay" about flatulence written by Benjamin Franklin c. 1781 while he was living abroad as United States Ambassador to France.