What if I'm always kidding myself?Billy Ballew wants to be married, but he's been engaged to three women and can't get to the altar.He wants to be a contractor, but he's so dyslexic he has to force himself to read and fears the contractor's license test more than death.He wants to please his mother, but all she wants is for him to give her grandchildren.What Billy doesn't want is to find out he's gay.But then he meets Shaz, the one guy so flamboyant Billy can't even be seen with him without losing all his friends - and his family. One more thing Billy wants and can't have.Maybe he should just stay home with his cats.KNIGHT OF OCEAN AVENUE is a gay awakening, total opposites attract, trying to please your mother, religious confrontation, learning who you are romance.