Man Walks into a Bar

Man Walks into a Bar
Author: Stephen Arnott
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 653
Release: 2007-08-28
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1612433723

A massive collection of laugh-out-loud jokes—arranged A-to-Z by subject! •Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He finally decided to stick it out for one more year! •A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.” •Where do you get virgin wool from? An ugly sheep! •What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? “Oh look! Donut seeds!” •The police have reported the theft of a shipment of filing cabinets, document folders, and labeling machines—it’s believed to have been the work of organized crime. Keep yourself—and friends and family—laughing with a new joke every day. This book is packed full of thousands of jokes, alphabetically organized into hundreds of topics from accountants to zebras, providing one gigantic, over-the-top, laugh-out-loud collection.

I Hate the Man who Runs this Bar!

I Hate the Man who Runs this Bar!
Author: Eugene Chadbourne
Publisher: Emeryville, CA : MixBooks
Total Pages: 0
Release: 1997
Genre: Music
ISBN: 9780918371195

Have you ever been stiffed by a club owner? Gone on a disastrous tour? Ever been double-booked by a promoter? Consigned your CD release to the local record store only to find it no longer there and nobody knows where your money is? Eugene Chadbourne uses his hilarious sense of humor to deliver the truth about touring, making records, working with a band, getting a record deal, playing overseas and just about anything else you can think of. With no hype and no fluff, this essential guide is a must for real musicians who have decided to make a living doing what they love: playing music! No matter what style of music you play, no matter where you live, don't make playing music your life without this survival guide for real musicians!

Don't Bullsh*t Yourself!

Don't Bullsh*t Yourself!
Author: Jon Taffer
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 226
Release: 2018-03-13
Genre: Business & Economics
ISBN: 0735217009

New York Times Bestseller and Wall Street Journal Bestseller! Bar Rescue's Jon Taffer presents a new guide to getting what you want in life and business--to stop making excuses so you can get back to winning. During his many years as an entrepreneur, consultant, and star of the Paramount Network's hit show Bar Rescue, Jon Taffer has witnessed the destruction that results when people bullsh*t themselves. Excuses are the root cause of nearly every business and personal problem, but fortunately, Jon knows how to fix your excuse habit for good. This book is almost as good as having Jon in your face on Bar Rescue, telling you the hard truths you've been avoiding. Don't Bullsh*t Yourself! is Jon Taffer's brutally honest, no-nonsense guide to help you kick those excuses to the curb. If you can stop bullsh*tting yourself and address your real issues, you will gain the power to turn your life around completely. Taffer breaks excuses down into six major categories, illustrating them with real-life examples such as Marcus Luttrell, the lone survivor of a SEAL team mission in Afghanistan who barely escaped Taliban territory, and Christine King, founder and CEO of Your Best Fit, who, despite being paralyzed in a horrific boating accident, went on to build a successful fitness company. These inspiring stories, combined with Taffer's own experiences, will give you the confidence to identify and face your own excuses head-on. It's Taffer Time! Time to stop bullsh*tting yourself and start crushing it!

The Tender Bar

The Tender Bar
Author: J. R. Moehringer
Publisher: Hachette Books
Total Pages: 531
Release: 2005-09-01
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 1401383416

Now a major Amazon film directed by George Clooney and starring Ben Affleck, Tye Sheridan, Lily Rabe, and Christopher Lloyd, a raucous, poignant, luminously written memoir about a boy striving to become a man, and his romance with a bar, in the tradition of This Boy’s Life and The Liar’s Club—with a new Afterword. J.R. Moehringer grew up captivated by a voice. It was the voice of his father, a New York City disc jockey who vanished before J.R. spoke his first word. Sitting on the stoop, pressing an ear to the radio, J.R. would strain to hear in that plummy baritone the secrets of masculinity and identity. Though J.R.'s mother was his world, his rock, he craved something more, something faintly and hauntingly audible only in The Voice. At eight years old, suddenly unable to find The Voice on the radio, J.R. turned in desperation to the bar on the corner, where he found a rousing chorus of new voices. The alphas along the bar—including J.R.'s Uncle Charlie, a Humphrey Bogart look-alike; Colt, a Yogi Bear sound-alike; and Joey D, a softhearted brawler—took J.R. to the beach, to ballgames, and ultimately into their circle. They taught J.R., tended him, and provided a kind of fathering-by-committee. Torn between the stirring example of his mother and the lurid romance of the bar, J.R. tried to forge a self somewhere in the center. But when it was time for J.R. to leave home, the bar became an increasingly seductive sanctuary, a place to return and regroup during his picaresque journeys. Time and again the bar offered shelter from failure, rejection, heartbreak—and eventually from reality. In the grand tradition of landmark memoirs, The Tender Bar is suspenseful, wrenching, and achingly funny. A classic American story of self-invention and escape, of the fierce love between a single mother and an only son, it's also a moving portrait of one boy's struggle to become a man, and an unforgettable depiction of how men remain, at heart, lost boys. Named a best book of the year by The New York Times, Esquire, The Los Angeles Times Book Review, Entertainment Weekly, USA Today, NPR's "Fresh Air," and New York Magazine A New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Wall Street Journal, San Francisco Chronicle, USA Today, Booksense, and Library Journal Bestseller Booksense Pick Borders New Voices Finalist Winner of the Books for a Better Life First Book Award

Den of Vipers

Den of Vipers
Author: K. A. Knight
Publisher:
Total Pages: 654
Release: 2020-07-10
Genre: Dystopias
ISBN:

The world ended and with it so did the rules. I was stolen from my family and raised in the Wastelands to the North. I did what I had to ensure my survival. I became The Champion, with my history carved into my skin for all to see. Now I spend my days drinking and hiding from my past until four newcomers offer me a job I can't refuse. When my past and future mix I must once again rise and fight. This time it's not for my freedom, it's for my happiness. Contains mature themes.

He's Just Not That Into You

He's Just Not That Into You
Author: Greg Behrendt
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 211
Release: 2009-01-06
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 141690977X

Based on an episode of "Sex and the City," offers a lighthearted, no-nonsense look at dead-end relationships, providing advice for letting go and moving on.

The Man I Can't Have

The Man I Can't Have
Author: Shanora Williams
Publisher: Independently Published
Total Pages: 412
Release: 2019-04-26
Genre:
ISBN: 9781093605846

It started as as a simple search for a landscape designer...I wanted a beautiful backyard for my new home and my neighbors suggested I look into Ward Landscaping & Design. The owner had no pictures of himself on his website, just a portfolio of nice outdoor sitting areas, pools, and vibrant gardens that I'd always dreamed of having.Of course I hired him.I expected to meet an average guy, but Mr. Marcel Ward is far from your average man. He's handsome, and well-built, and his smile-though a rare trait-is truly infectious. He's every woman's dream-a handsome, older man who doesn't mind getting down and dirty to create something beautiful all because of his passion for it. Unfortunately that lucky woman can't be me. Although Mr. Ward tests my limits, quickens my breath, and makes my heart skip a beat when he's around, I've made a promise to devote myself to my husband.So why am I falling for a man I know I can't have?

The Disillusioned

The Disillusioned
Author: D. W. Scott
Publisher: D.W.Scott
Total Pages: 370
Release: 2004-08-01
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 0958233284

THE DISILLUSIONED is a ruthlessly honest memoir of a young man who writes both searingly and disarmingly about the highs and lows, the perils and promise of our times. THE DISILLUSIONED documents the struggle all too common for recent generations: yearning to find a sense of worth and a purpose to their lives against the backdrop of abuses rife in modern society and the duplicity of political systems which favour the rich and powerful despite the hollow rhetoric that promises something else. THE DISILLUSIONED encompasses three decades, beginning with the impressionable child indoctrinated with the propaganda of Thatcher's Britain and suffering sexual abuse, a lack of role models and any sense of belonging. It is a gripping story of obsessive ambition, discrimination, sex, scams, suicidal impulses, alcoholism, the search for love, loss and the quest for redemption in New Zealand. It is the author's story, but also the story of a disillusioned silent majority; the story of young people bogged down with debt and disillusionment; the story, too, of the increasing dangers facing our children in a materialistic world where family bonds and values are sacrificed for high incomes and status. "THE DISILLUSIONED is a surprisingly compulsive read about what I call the Misfit Generation - the one beguiled at first by the challenge of rational economics and then bewildered by its effects. David Scott's odyssey is to find self-worth, to discover basic human values among the detritus of modern life. At the end you can't be sure he's made it. But his story matters and he tells it with the pace and directness of a pro." - Gordon McLauchlan, writer and book critic.

By a Thread

By a Thread
Author: Lucy Score
Publisher: Hodder Paperbacks
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2023-07-13
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 9781399726887

From Sunday Times and #1 New York Times bestselling author of Things We Never Got Over Dominic: I got her fired. Okay, so I'd had a bad day, but there's nothing innocent about Ally Morales. Maybe her colourful, annoying, inexplicably alluring personality brightens up the magazine's offices that have felt like a prison for the past year. Maybe I like that she argues with me in front of the editorial staff. And maybe my after-hours fantasies are haunted by her brown eyes and sharp tongue. She's working herself to death at half a dozen dead-end jobs for some secret reason. And I'm going to fix it all. Don't accuse me of caring. She's nothing more than a puzzle to be solved. If I can get her to quit, I can finally peel away all those layers. Then I can go back to salvaging the family name and forget all about the dancing, beer-slinging brunette. Ally: Ha. Hold my beer, Grumpy Grump Face.