F*ck Whales

F*ck Whales
Author: Maddox
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 209
Release: 2017-10-17
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1476794987

A collection of satirical, crass, comedic essays from famed Internet personality and New York Times bestselling author Maddox, of the infamous website The Best Page in the Universe. In this third book from Maddox, the reigning king of Internet satire delivers a collection of humorous, unapologetic essays in the same voice that propelled him into comedic stardom. With all-new material, F*ck Whales delivers on his personal brand of satire, complete with self-promotion, petty rants, and brilliant essays on anything and everything Maddox deems worthy of his ire.

Go the F**k to Sleep

Go the F**k to Sleep
Author: Adam Mansbach
Publisher: Akashic Books
Total Pages: 18
Release: 2011-06-14
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1453271023

The #1 New York Times Bestseller: “A hilarious take on that age-old problem: getting the beloved child to go to sleep” (NPR). “Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.” Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.

100 Animals That Can F*cking End You

100 Animals That Can F*cking End You
Author: Mamadou Ndiaye
Publisher: Voracious
Total Pages: 226
Release: 2022-07-05
Genre: Nature
ISBN: 0316453870

A wittily informative field guide to the deadliest animals on Earth from "AnimalTok" star @mndiaye_97 Ever wonder how to tell if a moose is about to subtract you? Curious why you should be terrified of cassowaries, the “velociraptor that time forgot?” Questioning whether that cute baby hippo is actually a homicidal maniac in the making? Yea, so was Mamadou Ndiaye . . . and now he's got your answers. 100 Animals That Can F*cking End You is the ultimate countdown to merk by animal, featuring everything from tiny bugs that can turn you into a hashtag to animals so massive they can murder you by accident. These include: • The massive Southern elephant seal, which "is built like a truck with the personality of a Spring Break frat boy" • Sperm whales with a call so strong it can vibrate you to death • A golf-ball-sized octopus that can erase twenty-six people with one bite • Hyenas, which have no qualms eating their prey while it is still alive • A snake so quick it can strike you three times before you blink You’ll learn not only which animals to avoid, but which ones can beat you in a footrace, which ones create surprisingly high body counts, and which ones will give you a good reason never to venture into the ocean. Mamadou also offers the occasional survival tip, even if it is just to make peace with your higher power. This dynamic, fact-filled, occasionally disturbing book is perfect for animal lovers and anyone perplexed by the natural world.

F*ck Feelings

F*ck Feelings
Author: Michael Bennett, MD
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 384
Release: 2015-09
Genre: Education
ISBN: 1476789991

"The only self-help book you'll ever need, from a psychiatrist who will help you put aside your unrealistic wishes, stop trying to change things you can't change, and do the best with what you can control--the first steps to solving all of life's impossible problems"--

F for Effort

F for Effort
Author: Richard Benson
Publisher: Chronicle Books
Total Pages: 131
Release: 2012-07-11
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 145211322X

Presents a collection of incorrect yet humorous test answers from real students, from an elementary student claiming that "two halves make a whale" to a high schooler who credits Galileo with inventing the solar system.

Crappy Children's Art

Crappy Children's Art
Author: Maddox
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 320
Release: 2012-11-20
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1476713545

From the New York Times bestselling author of The Alphabet of Manliness, the creator of “The Best Page in the Universe,” and overall genius, comes an outrageous, laugh-out-loud critique of children’s artwork that finally cuts those little smug know-it-alls down to size. Previously published as I Am Better Than Your Kids. If you think children are precious little snowflakes who are perfect in every way, think again. If you cherish every piece of art, every book report, every letter to Santa your child gives you, then this book is not for you. If your refrigerator is adorned with mementos from your kid’s childhood, then you are a sucker. Maddox, who has been writing hilarious essays for his popular site, TheBestPageInTheUniverse.com since 1996, can spell, do math, and run faster than your kids—and, he is here to show you just how inferior your kids are. Marvel as Maddox deconstructs an eight-year-old’s crayon-drawn family portrait! Laugh uproariously as he judges sub-par Valentines, homemade “gifts,” and other areas of elementary-aged underperformance! Why reward weakness and mediocrity with gold stars? You are in Maddox’s world now, and no child is safe from the scrutiny and critical gaze of the world’s foremost authority on children’s crappy artwork.

Surface Temperature Reconstructions for the Last 2,000 Years

Surface Temperature Reconstructions for the Last 2,000 Years
Author: National Research Council
Publisher: National Academies Press
Total Pages: 160
Release: 2007-01-05
Genre: Science
ISBN: 0309102251

In response to a request from Congress, Surface Temperature Reconstructions for the Last 2,000 Years assesses the state of scientific efforts to reconstruct surface temperature records for Earth during approximately the last 2,000 years and the implications of these efforts for our understanding of global climate change. Because widespread, reliable temperature records are available only for the last 150 years, scientists estimate temperatures in the more distant past by analyzing "proxy evidence," which includes tree rings, corals, ocean and lake sediments, cave deposits, ice cores, boreholes, and glaciers. Starting in the late 1990s, scientists began using sophisticated methods to combine proxy evidence from many different locations in an effort to estimate surface temperature changes during the last few hundred to few thousand years. This book is an important resource in helping to understand the intricacies of global climate change.

The Alphabet of Manliness

The Alphabet of Manliness
Author: Maddox
Publisher: Citadel Press
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2011-10
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 9780806535227

The author provides tongue-in-cheek advice on what he considers to be manliness, such as beating up on other men, groping women, disciplining children more violently, and becoming a more efficient communicator of road rage.

The Cunning Man

The Cunning Man
Author: D.J. Butler
Publisher: Baen Books
Total Pages: 320
Release: 2019-11-05
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1625797427

It’s the depths of the Depression, and a mining town in Utah is shut down. Something has awakened underground, and now a monster roams the tunnels. Along comes Hiram Woolley. Hiram is a man with mystical abilities derived from the commonsense application of Scot-Irish folk wisdom and German Braucher magic. He possesses an arcane Bloodstone that allows him to see a lie the moment it is spoken. Behind the played-out farms and failed businesses are demons, curses, sorcerers, and unatoned wrongs. Bags of groceries and carpentry won’t be enough this time.The job will take a man who has known sorrow. A man who has known war. A man of wisdom. A man of magic. The job will take a Cunning Man. At the publisher's request, this title is sold without DRM (Digital Rights Management). About The Cunning Man: “An attempt at charity during the Great Depression turns into a protracted fight against supernatural forces in this admirable paranormal mystery. . . . the richly imagined magic system and glimpses of Mormon culture create a fully realized world. Historical fantasy fans will delight in the zigzagging plot of this mystery.”—Publishers Weekly "An amazing tale that grabs you by the throat and won’t let go! Butler & Ritchey are a literary force to be reckoned with! Hit that download button and grab your copy now! The Cunning Man will never let you go!"—Sherrilyn Kenyon, #1 New York Times Bestselling Author