Fat Santa
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Why Is Santa Fat?
Author | : Chad L. Stoddard |
Publisher | : AuthorHouse |
Total Pages | : 23 |
Release | : 2012-04 |
Genre | : Juvenile Fiction |
ISBN | : 1452007888 |
This book is about answering the impossible questions that children ask parents. At sometime in life a child will ask one of those questions and we as parents need to be able to answer as honestly as possible. If that question is impossible to answer and most likely it will be, do as I did. WING IT!!!
Claus: Legend of the Fat Man
Author | : Tony Bertauski |
Publisher | : DeadPixel Publications |
Total Pages | : 377 |
Release | : 2013-12-28 |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : |
This week only, save 10% to 40% on the boxed sets, Claus Boxed (Volume 1 and Volume 2)… In the early 1800s, Nicholas Santa discovered an ancient race of elven. Short, fat and hairy, they have lived peacefully on the North Pole since the Ice Age but Nicholas is quickly swept into the colony’s first and only fracture. The elven known as the Cold One has divided his people. His name is Jack. And Jack’s tired of hiding. Why should they live in a shrinking ice cap when humans occupy the rest of the world? It’s just not fair. There’s no stopping Jack from world domination until Nicholas Santa, the only human to enter the elven colony, joins helium-bladder reindeer, artificially-intelligent snowmen, and a merry band of big-footed elven to bring peace back to the North Pole. And becomes a legend. REVIEWS FOR THE CLAUS UNIVERSE “Amazing rewrites that will astound you!” –Ruth Jackson, Reviewer“Best Santa Story Ever!” – Bob, Reviewer“Simply lovely.” –jl, Amazon Reviewer“MY HEART GREW THREE SIZES…” – Reviewer“Couldn’t Put It Down.” – Reviewer“Fantasy at it’s [sic] finest.” –Carol, Reviewer“Absolutely phenomenal!” –JayFly, Reviewer“A++” –TKJ 131, Reviewer“Absolutely Awesome.” –Dee greusel, Reviewer“I absolutely love this series…” –Kara McCabe, Reviewer“Tony is an excellent story teller!” jjjlake, Reviewer“I want MORE!” –J. Bunch, Reviewer“Awesomely engaging!” –Janice Everett, Reviewer
Why I'm Mad at Santa
Author | : Gloria Miles |
Publisher | : Dorrance Publishing |
Total Pages | : 34 |
Release | : 2010-11-09 |
Genre | : |
ISBN | : 1434992462 |
The Truth About Santa
Author | : Gregory Mone |
Publisher | : Bloomsbury Publishing USA |
Total Pages | : 158 |
Release | : 2009-11-03 |
Genre | : Humor |
ISBN | : 1608191141 |
We all know Santa Claus: fat, jolly, omniscient, swift. Lives in a nice home in the Arctic, with the missus and a pack of elves. Well, forget what you know. Santa Claus is from Greenpoint, Brooklyn, as it turns out, and he's not as fat as he used to be. Here's something else you didn't know: he's been dabbling in some futuristic technology, and has found myriad ways to make his job possible. How can Santa know who's been naughty and nice? Simple: implant listening devices into your ornaments. How can he make it to every house Christmas Eve? That's nothing a little cloning and some wormholes can't solve. And he has plenty of other tactics: quantum entanglement, organ replacement, drug-induced hibernation, and unmanned aerial vehicles, to name just a few. In this fantastically illustrated, affectionate, and hilarious book, Gregory Mone uses science and technology to overturn the assumption that Santa can't be real. Drawing on the work of accomplished scientists and researchers, Mone gives us a whole new portrait of this remarkable man and the miracles he makes happen every year. With imaginative artwork and an eye-catching package, this book makes an outstanding Christmas gift for just about anyone.
I Think I Just Saw Santa
Author | : Howard Rees |
Publisher | : |
Total Pages | : 32 |
Release | : 1993 |
Genre | : Christmas stories |
ISBN | : 9781876711306 |
A wonderful 'Who¿s behind the door¿ book with a surprise on every page. See old Fred, Rodney¿s cat and many more delightful characters in the hilarious search for Santa! What you see might not be what you expect!
Dear Santa All I Want Is a Fat Bank Account and a Skinny Body Please Don't Mix It Up Again Like You Did Last Year
Author | : Elderberry's Designs |
Publisher | : Independently Published |
Total Pages | : 120 |
Release | : 2018-11-21 |
Genre | : |
ISBN | : 9781790157518 |
Dear Santa all I want is a fat bank account & a skinny body. Santa dont mix it up again. Whether you are a vegan, meat eater, or have a sweet tooth, help Santa Claus get it right this time with this themed Funny Dear Santa Dont Mix It Up Xmas Gift notebook planner. High quality finish printed in the USA & fulfilled by Amazon, this is a perfect funny gag gift journal or diary gift for men and women who love to crack jokes around the holidays feasts and festivities. Combine with a shirt or hoodie for extra oomph. Check out the author's expanded journal diary gift collection. Blank lined 20 lines per page, 120 pages, 6x9 inches, matte-finished cover, and white paper. Check out the author's expanded journal diary gift collection.
Feed Me!
Author | : Harriet Brown |
Publisher | : Random House Digital, Inc. |
Total Pages | : 273 |
Release | : 2009 |
Genre | : Social Science |
ISBN | : 0345500881 |
Some of today's leading women writers speak out on the subject of weight and the obsession with body image in a collection of essays that includes Caroline Leavitt's writings on eating and grief, Whitney Otto on having a mother who was a Weight Watchers lecturer, and works by Joyce Maynard, Laurie Notaro, Ann Hood, Kate Harding, and others. Original. 30,000 first printing.
The Last Smoker on Earth
Author | : Basil Dillon-Malone |
Publisher | : FriesenPress |
Total Pages | : 484 |
Release | : 2021-06-15 |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : 1525589571 |
All great writers in history were smokers but now smoking had been banned globally effective New Year’s Day 2009. The Act of Cessation was launched during the transition between the Bush and Obama administrations with dire implications because of the rampant rumor of Obama being a closet-smoker. This book is a parody about a brilliant writer who lives two lives – one in the media industry interfacing with celebrities, a number of whom make cameo appearances. The other is his secret life as the last smoker on earth. Facilitated by nicotine stimulation, the protagonist is on a mission to return literature to society as a closet-smoker, writing the great American novel in his surreptitious sojourns to the underground. If apprehended by the anti-tobacco police he will be incarcerated in a place called the Midnight Express and never heard from again.
Willow the Vampire & the Sacred Grove
Author | : Maria Thermann |
Publisher | : BookRix |
Total Pages | : 355 |
Release | : 2014-07-03 |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : 3736822324 |
Eleven-year-old Willow Band lives with her parents in a remote cottage at the edge of the picturesque village Stinkforth-upon-Avon. The villagers have no idea there's a family of vampires in their midst. Insurance salesmen, bankers and visiting vicars beware...or you'll end up on the Band's dinner table! Willow loves poetry, ballet and animals...but she doesn't like eating leathery postman, wrinkly non-organic dancers or her friendly neighbour Mr. Edwards, who has long been on her mother's list of Sunday lunch ingredients. Having fled London for the safety of the Stinkforthshire countryside, Willow and her parents try to blend into the rural community of humans without arousing their suspicions...although mysterious disappearances of staff from the local research facility are causing a bit of a stink... Willow is an unusual vampire: she was born eleven years ago in a disgustingly human way that baffled even the wise old heads of the Vampire Council - how was this possible, when age-old vampire tradition demands blood sacrifice at full moon for baby-vampires to enter the world? She finds herself at odds with both her human and her vampire world. Why exactly did her Great Uncle call her a Child of Light? What will her very human friend Darren say, when he finds out she's a blood-sucking fiend? Just when Willow starts to settle into her new life at Stinkforth's School for the Gifted, she discovers her mother has a dangerous secret that puts the whole family at risk, plunging Willow and her friends into a dark mystery that may well spell the end of the world as we know it. As she battles with villainous relatives, greedy headmasters, vicious bat-monsters, disgruntled ex-prison warders, miffed pagan gods, not to mention her arch rival Felicity Henderson, who'd stop at nothing to beat Willow in this year's poetry competition, Willow discovers there's more to her than just fangs and an eye for a good sonnet. Author Maria Thermann hopes you will enjoy her stories set in the fictional county of Stinkforthshire, England - an entirely slayer-free zone. The adventures of Willow the Vampire and the Sacred Grove are aimed at children aged 10 - 12...and anyone who enjoys black humour and likes vampires that are feisty!