The Case of The Clerical Cadaver

The Case of The Clerical Cadaver
Author: Howard of Warwick
Publisher: The Funny Book Company
Total Pages: 268
Release: 2016-10-27
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 0992939399

It’s new, it's medieval and it’s all very silly…. A hidden monastery in the depths of England’s depths? A secret that could rock the church to its core? A trail of clues that can only be interpreted by an expert? This all sounds rather familiar…. Except the expert is Brother Hermitage, so I wouldn’t get your hopes up. Called once more by King William - who doesn’t even know what he’s calling for - Hermitage, Cwen and Wat the weaver set off to deal with the greatest mystery of all. A mystery that has been protected and guarded for years by a secret brotherhood sworn by awful oaths. A mystery only known to a priest who now happens to be dead. A mystery hidden in a monastery that isn’t even supposed to exist. A mystery of such value that the unscrupulous and greedy are also after it, and these particular unscrupulous and greedy know Brother Hermitage very well indeed. Will all be revealed in a satisfactory manner? Will the convoluted trail lead to a revelation of staggering significance? Hardly. This is a Chronicle of Brother Hermitage, after all…. CAUTION: Not for the historically humourless. Howard of Warwick has previous form... “Absolutely hilarious” 5* “I laughed, I had tears running down my face” 5* “Stupid” 1* Need I say more... you have been warned.

The Hermes Parchment

The Hermes Parchment
Author: Howard of Warwick
Publisher: The Funny Book Company
Total Pages: 278
Release: 2019-06-24
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1913383458

Where goes the King’s Investigator, there goes death; by murder, usually. The author of the Best Selling The Heretics of De'Ath and other tales too numerous to be polite, does not know when to stop. Despite his protestations that disaster is inevitable, Brother Hermitage travels to Lincoln to sort out a library. It’s the task of his dreams, even if he’s reasonably confident that someone will get murdered in the process. And there are several candidates. One of those troublesome Norman soldiers in the tavern? The king’s tenant-in-chief, Lord Colesvain, who has just forced the whole town to build his house for him? Colesvain’s objectionable son, Picot, who has a rather unhealthy interest in “illustrated” literature? But a library should be safe enough; apart from the librarian obsessed with books on sorcery and magic, obviously. Delving in the bottom of a box of books delivered from a long-lost monastery, Hermitage discovers the great Hermes Parchment and the whole world goes mad. Hermitage, Wat and Cwen become embroiled in events that were pretty embroiled to begin with.There are wise men of the woods who turn out to be no such thing, and suggestions of an evil secret hidden in the parchment’s pages just waiting to be released. And a dead body turns up. Just as Hermitage said it would. Told you so. It’s yet another outing for the world’s most medieval detective. "very good indeed, brilliant," BBC Coventry and Warwick 5* Hilarious 5* Like Pratchett does 1066 5* Laugh out loud with a good mystery. 1* Stupid

No Murder Here

No Murder Here
Author: Howard of Warwick
Publisher: The Funny Book Company
Total Pages: 278
Release: 2024-02-29
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1913383628

5* Absolutely brilliant, as always. 5* So well written, so entertaining and amusing. 5* A great read from start to finish There is no murder here. And even if there was, under no circumstances is Brother Hermitage, King William’s investigator, to be allowed anywhere near it. This is a very sensitive matter for the Duke of Normandy, now King of England, and he wants it dealt with properly. He doesn’t want a band of Saxon idiots trampling all over the place, offending everyone. But, in a far-off outpost of the duchy, an ancient ritual has been enacted, which immediately went horribly wrong. Someone must be sent to find out what happened and who is behind it. Negotiating the way through scheming and feuding locals will demand sensitivity. Untangling superstition from fact will require careful analysis. Appreciating custom and practice will need a sympathetic ear. And you’ll need to speak the right language, obviously. So, this is really not a job for Brother Hermitage. It’s probably even more inappropriate for the weavers, Wat and Cwen - the woman who stares at people and the man who made those disgusting pictures. Keep them away. However, the more explicit the instruction, the greater the chance of mistake… In any case, there is no murder here. Oh, really?

Hermitage, Wat and Some Nuns

Hermitage, Wat and Some Nuns
Author: Howard of Warwick
Publisher: The Funny Book Company
Total Pages: 294
Release: 2016-06-28
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 0992939380

From the world’s best-selling author of comedy historical mysteries comes another largely pointless excursion. Medieval Shrewsbury is surely no place for murder. Not in this charming town would investigative monks wander around bothering people over every little incident. When Brother Hermitage arrives at Shrewsbury in the summer of 1068 something is up. Or rather down. Gilder, the great merchant is dead and Hermitage’s urge to investigate is overwhelming. His companions, Cwen and Wat, weaver of pornographic tapestry think this is a very bad idea. So does the whole town Moot. And the sheriff and the rest of the population. And then there are the nuns. Hermitage has never been strong in the face of adversity and an adverse nun is more than he can cope with. A whole order of them is something to be strenuously avoided. But there is always his duty. It’s got him into trouble so many times; why should Shrewsbury be any different? “Like Cadfael meets Clousseau.” “Terry Pratchett does 1066.” “Rampant silliness.”

The Investigator's Kingdom

The Investigator's Kingdom
Author: Howard of Warwick
Publisher: The Funny Book Company
Total Pages: 247
Release: 2022-08-24
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1913383466

The world’s best-selling medieval crime comedies - and the most persistent. Howard of Warwick produces yet more nonsense mystery from days gone by. Just not gone by quite far enough. The Normans are coming, the Normans are coming. And they’re looking for Brother Hermitage. This cannot go well. It’s never gone well in the past so why should this time be any different? King William’s own messenger has come all the way from London looking for Brother Hermitage, the investigator. It can only mean one thing; a really important murder. Running away or hiding are obviously options, but the king’s messengers don't take “not available” for an answer. Hermitage hears the message and asks for it to be repeated, but still doesn't understand. He is easily confused but seldom so quickly. At least he has company. Wat the Weaver and Cwen are just as lost this time. Bart, the would-be investigator’s apprentice, is the only one who sees this very strange situation as an opportunity. And that’s a worry in its own right. Forced to travel to the far north, some fifteen miles away, Hermitage and the others make some alarming discoveries that go so far back in history, even Hermitage didn't see them coming. Still, meeting new people and hearing about their ways broadens the mind. Or threatens the life, one or the other. As usual, death is always close at hand, and it keeps looking at Brother Hermitage in a funny way. Then one character turns out to have a secret no one would have guessed. Not even if the threat of death made you guess really hard. “Very good indeed, brilliant” BBC 5* How on earth do you keep writing hilarious medieval murder mysteries? Ask Howard of Warwick’ 5* Always a Delight 5* Marvellous, laughed all the way through 5* This sorry world is in dire need of Brother Hermitage.

The 1066 From Normandy

The 1066 From Normandy
Author: Howard of Warwick
Publisher: The Funny Book Company
Total Pages: 221
Release: 2019-09-24
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1913383008

Death and taxes... with extra death. Yet more medieval detective-sort-of-thing from the best selling author... Brother Hermitage, the King’s most medieval investigator, is about to discover the true meaning of the Norman Conquest; money. It’s all very well Saxons fighting William on the battlefield and trying to kill him, but evading his taxes is simply beyond the pale. Something must be done about it. And who better to do something about things than his own investigator? The first problem is that the King’s Investigator doesn’t understand what it is. But then not understanding things has never held him back in the past. If tax evasion is a bad thing - which William assures him it is - then the people who do it are positively revolting. Hermitage has dealt with deceit, dishonesty and deception in the past, but he’s never met people who have made it their life’s work. Needless to say, Wat and Cwen the weavers are dragged into this, quite literally, and Wat seems to know rather too much about dodging tax. And then, of course, the bodies start piling up. Death and taxes, eh? Who’d have thought… Brother Hermitage’s 16th adventure, and Howard of Warwick’s 21st attempt at synchronised scribbling simply reveals more of the same: 5* “Hurrahs for the ole goofy gang! Another terrifically funny adventure” 5* “Hilarious” 5* “More hilarity” "very good indeed, brilliant," BBC Coventry and Warwick

The Heretics of De'Ath

The Heretics of De'Ath
Author: Howard of Warwick
Publisher: The Funny Book Company
Total Pages: 253
Release: 2010-12-12
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1913383288

Medieval mystery for people who laugh starts here.... England's most famous date 1066: At the monastery of De'Ath's Dingle, during a completely pointless theological debate, there is a mysterious death. Routine business for the average investigative medieval monk. Unfortunately, this isn’t a tale of average monks. Anyone who would put the idiot Brother Simon in charge of a murder investigation is either one chant short of a plainsong or is up to something. When Brother Hermitage, innocent in every way, including bystanding, is lined up for execution, he begins to wonder if something might be going on. Perhaps his new companion Wat, weaver of pornographic tapestry, can figure out what it is. Before it's too late. If you are a lover of the historical detective genre, if you have a deep respect for the worlds created, don’t read this book. It’ll only upset you. Now available in a massive box set with The Garderobe of Death and The Tapestry of Death; for those with a lever-arch Kindle. People have commented on the whole sorry business: 5* Such a good writer, it's a whole new slant on medieval mystery. The truth is out there, sort of! Always makes me laugh, love these books, love this author. More please as soon as possible, just keep writing... 5* Like Cadfael meets Clouseau. 5* The usual mayhem, confusion, murder and laughs! 5* Always makes me laugh, love these books, love this author. 1* Stupid! Be warned, there are now 31 Chronicles of Brother Hermitage

A Murder for Mistress Cwen

A Murder for Mistress Cwen
Author: Howard of Warwick
Publisher: The Funny Book Company
Total Pages: 224
Release: 2017-10-24
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1913383342

For a medieval monk who hates investigating anything, Brother Hermitage seems to do it quite a lot. As he stumbles into his 10th full length tale, signs of improvement remain stubbornly invisible. When Stigand of Arundel arrives in Derby with a commission from King William to buy some very expensive hawks, Wat, Weaver of adult tapestry sees an opportunity for profit. Brother Hermitage sees only trouble. We then discover that Cwen, fine young tapestrier with a good eye for colour, nimble fingers and a frightening temper, also has some very peculiar relatives. So peculiar that they warrant investigation in their own right. Once more there is murder and of course there are Normans and Vikings and Saxons. If any of them actually has a clue what's going on they're not saying anything. In his previous debacles Brother Hermitage relied on Wat and Cwen for guidance, support and frequent reminders to use some common sense. This time they’re all up to their eyes in it but surely things can’t go any worse? Medieval Crime Comedy is not going away and Howard of Warwick doesn’t know any better… 5* “Hilarious” 5* “Laugh out loud funny” 5* “Great fun”

The King's Investigator

The King's Investigator
Author: Howard of Warwick
Publisher: The Funny Book Company
Total Pages: 285
Release: 2020-06-24
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1913383091

Death in the Tower of London? This could give the place a bad reputation. In King William’s new London fortress (so new it doesn’t have a tower yet), a dead body lies right outside his chamber door. This could be murder as the victim is the widely hated Malf; so widely hated, virtually everyone is suspect. Brother Hermitage, the King’s Investigator must be summoned; the King’s investigator who really doesn’t want to do the job at all anymore. Fortunately, someone else seems very keen to take over: If you thought Brother Hermitage didn’t know what he was doing, Brother Peter is going to be a revelation. But murder seems to be a routine feature of court intrigue: Could it be a result of the dispute between the ghastly Le Pedvin, William’s favourite killer, and Ranulph de Sauveloy, his favourite administrator? Could it be Malf’s own family, who really can’t wait for him to die until they inherit? Could it be the Saxon rebels who are hiding in a very peculiar place close at hand? Brother Hermitage, Wat the Weaver and Cwen have got to find out and as usual, it all goes wrong almost immediately. Find the killer or face the same fate themselves is a familiar old refrain. But perhaps this time, Hermitage sees a way out. Could he really hand his hated job on to someone else; someone who really wants to do it? Populated by old familiar faces from most of Hermitage’s nightmares, The King’s Investigator could be the very end…. ... Although now we learn there's a Part II - how did that happen? - Look for the imaginatively titled, The King's Investigator Part II Howard of Warwick’s mission to bring medieval crime comedy to people who didn’t know they wanted it, takes its nineteenth step. Numerous No 1 Best Sellers, over 100,000 copies out there somewhere and containing more nonsense than a monk’s margin, it looks like it’s here to stay - or is it? Previous volumes have garnered praise: 5* Another brilliant read 5* Another fun filled adventure 5* Ha, ha, ha! Aha! Brother Hermitage does it again. 5* Masterpiece from Howard 1* Silly. "very good indeed, brilliant," BBC Coventry and Warwick