The Ultimate Book of Dad Jokes

The Ultimate Book of Dad Jokes
Author: Gordon Hideaki Nagai
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 118
Release: 2016-05-10
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1612435904

A MASSIVE COLLECTION OF LAUGHABLE, CHEESY JOKES PERFECT FOR AMUSING DADS WHILE SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSING THE KIDS As groan-inducing as they are hilarious, dad jokes are the punny one-liners and oh-so-clever quips fathers never tire of telling. With this massive collection, no Dad will ever lack new material to make his kids facepalm: • A watermelon and a honeydew wanted to get married right away, but they cantaloupe. • After Humpty Dumpty recovered from his fall, he was just a shell of his former self. • Sign language interpreters have to lean sideways to translate something in italics. • Anyone with a wheat allergy that routinely eats pasta is just a gluten for punishment. • A chord walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender said, “We don’t serve minors.”

Tommy Cooper All In One Joke Book

Tommy Cooper All In One Joke Book
Author: Tommy Cooper
Publisher: Random House
Total Pages: 405
Release: 2014-10-09
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1409052494

My wife is a magician, yesterday she turned our car into a tree. A big white horse walks into a pub. The barman says, 'we have a drink named after you.' The horse says, 'what? Eric?' I said, 'waiter, what's that in my soup?' he said, 'I'd better call the boss, I can't tell one insect from another.' I'm reading a book called 'Sex Before 20'. Personally I don't like audiences. I said, 'it's serious, doctor, I've broken my arm in 20 places'. He said, 'well stop going to those places.' I call my car flattery. It gets me nowhere.

The Case of the Deepdean Vampire

The Case of the Deepdean Vampire
Author: Robin Stevens
Publisher: Penguin UK
Total Pages: 39
Release: 2016-09-08
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 0141369752

Of all the mysteries that Hazel and I have investigated, the Case of the Deepdean Vampire was one of the strangest. It was not a murder, which was a pity - but I did solve it very cleverly, and so I decided it ought to be written down, so that other people could read it and be impressed. Camilla Badescu is in the fifth form, and has pale skin, dark hair and red lips. She comes from Romania (which is practically Transylvania). She doesn't eat at meals. And she seemed to have an unhealthy influence over another pupil, Amy Jessop. Now, I do not believe in vampires - I am the Honourable Daisy Wells, after all. But when I heard the rumour that Camilla was seen climbing head-first down a wall, I knew it was time to investigate...

The Beano Annual 2005

The Beano Annual 2005
Author: D. C. Thomson & Company, Limited
Publisher:
Total Pages: 144
Release: 2004-09
Genre: Juvenile Nonfiction
ISBN: 9780851168487

Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart

Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart
Author: J.D. Greear
Publisher: B&H Publishing Group
Total Pages: 144
Release: 2013-02-01
Genre: Religion
ISBN: 1433679183

“If there were a Guinness Book of World Records entry for ‘amount of times having prayed the sinner’s prayer,’ I’m pretty sure I’d be a top contender,” says pastor and author J. D. Greear. He struggled for many years to gain an assurance of salvation and eventually learned he was not alone. “Lack of assurance” is epidemic among evangelical Christians. In Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart, J. D. shows that faulty ways of present- ing the gospel are a leading source of the confusion. Our presentations may not be heretical, but they are sometimes misleading. The idea of “asking Jesus into your heart” or “giving your life to Jesus” often gives false assurance to those who are not saved—and keeps those who genuinely are saved from fully embracing that reality. Greear unpacks the doctrine of assurance, showing that salvation is a posture we take to the promise of God in Christ, a posture that begins at a certain point and is maintained for the rest of our lives. He also answers the tough questions about assurance: What exactly is faith? What is repentance? Why are there so many warnings that seem to imply we can lose our salvation? Such issues are handled with respect to the theological rigors they require, but Greear never loses his pastoral sensitivity or a communication technique that makes this message teachable to a wide audience from teens to adults.

Advanced Software Testing - Vol. 2, 2nd Edition

Advanced Software Testing - Vol. 2, 2nd Edition
Author: Rex Black
Publisher: Rocky Nook, Inc.
Total Pages: 584
Release: 2014-09-12
Genre: Computers
ISBN: 1492016292

This book teaches test managers what they need to know to achieve advanced skills in test estimation, test planning, test monitoring, and test control. Readers will learn how to define the overall testing goals and strategies for the systems being tested. This hands-on, exercise-rich book provides experience with planning, scheduling, and tracking these tasks. You'll be able to describe and organize the necessary activities as well as learn to select, acquire, and assign adequate resources for testing tasks. You'll learn how to form, organize, and lead testing teams, and master the organizing of communication among the members of the testing teams, and between the testing teams and all the other stakeholders. Additionally, you'll learn how to justify decisions and provide adequate reporting information where applicable. With over thirty years of software and systems engineering experience, author Rex Black is President of RBCS, is a leader in software, hardware, and systems testing, and is the most prolific author practicing in the field of software testing today. He has published a dozen books on testing that have sold tens of thousands of copies worldwide. He is past president of the International Software Testing Qualifications Board (ISTQB) and a director of the American Software Testing Qualifications Board (ASTQB). This book will help you prepare for the ISTQB Advanced Test Manager exam. Included are sample exam questions, at the appropriate level of difficulty, for most of the learning objectives covered by the ISTQB Advanced Level Syllabus. The ISTQB certification program is the leading software tester certification program in the world. With about 300,000 certificate holders and a global presence in over 50 countries, you can be confident in the value and international stature that the Advanced Test Manager certificate can offer you. This second edition has been thoroughly updated to reflect the new ISTQB Advanced Test Manager 2012 Syllabus, and the latest ISTQB Glossary. This edition reflects Rex Black's unique insights into these changes, as he was one of the main participants in the ISTQB Advanced Level Working Group.

The World of Norm: Norm 10

The World of Norm: Norm 10
Author: Jonathan Meres
Publisher: Orchard Books
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2016-07-26
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 9781408341933

The tenth hilarious title in the award-winning, laugh-out-loud series, The World of Norm. Perfect for fans of Tom Gates and Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Norm knew it was going to be one of those days when he lost his house... But even when he finds it, things don't get much better. What could be worse than imagining your parents at a salsa dancing event - with your best friend?! Norm's not sure what's got into Mikey, but he suspects hormones may be involved. Flipping typical! With brilliantly funny illustrations throughout from Donough O'Malley. Praise for Jonathan Meres: 'Hilarious stuff from one of my comic heroes!' - Harry Hill 'Jonathan Meres is flipping funny!' - Eddie Izzard