A Wayne in a Manger

A Wayne in a Manger
Author: Gervase Phinn
Publisher: Penguin UK
Total Pages: 95
Release: 2006-11-02
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 0141924748

A Wayne in a Manger is the hilarious compilation of nativity stories by Gervase Phinn. Discover some wonderfully funny and touching nativity play anecdotes, including children forgetting their lines, ad-libbing, falling of the stage, picking their noses and showing their knickers. One brilliant anecdote tells of an innkeeper who generously says there's plenty of room for Mary and Joseph, while another child, jealous of Joseph's starring role, allows Mary to come in but not Joseph, who can 'push off' ... There's the baby Jesus who suddenly pipes up with 'My name is Tammy, are you my Mommy?' and funniest of all, Mary who tells Joseph, 'I'm having a baby - oh and it's not yours'. Gervase Phinn's A Wayne in a Manger is the perfect gift this Christmas. 'Gervase Phinn's memoirs have made him a hero in school staff-rooms' Daily Telegraph Gervase Phinn is an author and educator from Rotherham who, after teaching for fourteen years in a variety of schools, moved to North Yorkshire to be a school inspector. He has written autobiographies, novels, plays, collections of poetry and stories, as well as a number of books about education. He holds five fellowships, honorary doctorates from Hull, Leicester and Sheffield Hallam universities, and is a patron of a number of children's charities and organizations. He is married with four adult children. His books include The Other Side of the Dale, Over Hill and Dale, Head Over Heels in the Dales,The Heart of the Dales, Up and Down in the Dales and Trouble at the Little Village School.

Garde Manger

Garde Manger
Author: The Culinary Institute of America (CIA)
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
Total Pages: 730
Release: 2012-04-16
Genre: Cooking
ISBN: 0470587806

The leading guide to the professional kitchen's cold food station, now fully revised and updated Garde Manger: The Art and Craft of the Cold Kitchen has been the market's leading textbook for culinary students and a key reference for professional chefs since its original publication in 1999. This new edition improves on the last with the most up-to-date recipes, plating techniques, and flavor profiles being used in the field today. New information on topics like artisanal cheeses, contemporary styles of pickles and vinegars, and contemporary cooking methods has been added to reflect the most current industry trends. And the fourth edition includes hundreds of all-new photographs by award-winning photographer Ben Fink, as well as approximately 450 recipes, more than 100 of which are all-new to this edition. Knowledge of garde manger is an essential part of every culinary student's training, and many of the world's most celebrated chefs started in garde manger as apprentices or cooks. The art of garde manger includes a broad base of culinary skills, from basic cold food preparations to roasting, poaching, simmering, and sautéing meats, fish, poultry, vegetables, and legumes. This comprehensive guide includes detailed information on cold sauces and soups; salads; sandwiches; cured and smoked foods; sausages; terrines, pâtes, galantines, and roulades; cheese; appetizers and hors d'oeuvre; condiments, crackers, and pickles; and buffet development and presentation.

Dim Wit

Dim Wit
Author: Rosemarie Jarski
Publisher: Random House
Total Pages: 576
Release: 2008-12-05
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 140702468X

'They misunderestimated me' George W. Bush Einstein said only two things are infinite - the universe and human stupidity. So in deference to the dumbing down of our culture, comes Dim Wit - a collection of the most jaw-droppingly stupid things ever said. The cast includes every famous foot-in-mouther from George W Bush to Prince Philip, Paris Hilton to Jade Goody, not to mention hundreds of unsung idiots plucked from villages the world over. The result is a confederacy of dunces more pro-fun than profound - a clever witticism may coax an inward smile but it takes a really stupid remark to deliver a belly laugh. So pick up Dim Wit and prepare to embrace your inner moron - it may be the smartest thing you do... 'My grandma overheard two women talking in a doctor's surgery. After a while, one said to the other, "Do you know, Mary, I don't feel too well. I think I'll go home."' - Robyn Jankel 'I don't think anyone should write his autobiography until after he's dead.' - Samuel Goldwyn 'Winston Churchill? Wasn't he the first black President of America? There's a statue of him near me - that's black.' - Danielle Lloyd

The Ants Are My Friends

The Ants Are My Friends
Author: Martin Toseland
Publisher: Portico
Total Pages: 175
Release: 2013-01-25
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1909396109

Linguistic mistakes. We all make them. And if your name is George W Bush, you might make them more often than others. In 'The Ants are My Friends' (delightfully misheard from Bob Dylan's "Blowing in the Wind") Martin Toseland has collected the very best (and very worst) linguistic gifts of the gaffe. The catergories features include: Malapropisms (named after Mrs Malaprop in Sheridan's "The Rivals" where the wrong word pops out to bizarre results); Eggcorns (where a new word is created from misheard real one - the name comes from someone misunderstanding 'acorn' as 'eggcorn', as it has the same shape); Bushisms (the humour in which cannot be misunderestimated); and Mondegreens or misheard lyrics, which include such classic examples as: Who Ya Gonna Call, Gus Foster ("Ghostbusters" by Ray Parker Junior); Last Night I Dreamed of Some Bagels ("La Isla Bonita" by Madonna); Sparing His Life For His Mum's Sausages ("Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen); It's a Fruit, Fruit Samba ("Cruel Summer" by Bananarama); and, Mr Tangerine Man ("Mr Tambourine Man" by Bob Dylan).

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Stars

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Stars
Author: Gervase Phinn
Publisher: Penguin UK
Total Pages: 96
Release: 2008-11-06
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 0141903678

Twinkle, Twinkle Little Stars is the second delightful collection of stories and poems from Gervase Phinn. Following on from the terrific success of A Wayne in a Manger, Gervase Phinn has collected together from his bestselling Dales books his favourite stories about children, and included some poems from his popular Puffin poetry books. In this humorously illustrated book, the stories have one thing in common - the wonderfully funny (and usually innocent) things that children say. What makes Naomi's granny wobble? What's the secret ingredient in Richard's jam tarts? What is Billy's unconventional method for making babies? Whether they are stories about children who cannot read very well but know the names of many breeds of sheep or children who are more privileged (coming to school in a Wolls-Woyce), they are simply delightful. Twinkle, Twinkle Little Stars is a heart-warming book will enchant you, as Gervase Phinn helps you look at life through a child's eyes - and that's quite a special thing. 'Gervase Phinn's memoirs have made him a hero in school staff-rooms' Daily Telegraph Gervase Phinn is an author and educator from Rotherham who, after teaching for fourteen years in a variety of schools, moved to North Yorkshire to be a school inspector. He has written autobiographies, novels, plays, collections of poetry and stories, as well as a number of books about education. He holds five fellowships, honorary doctorates from Hull, Leicester and Sheffield Hallam universities, and is a patron of a number of children's charities and organizations. He is married with four adult children. His books include The Other Side of the Dale, Over Hill and Dale, Head Over Heels in the Dales,The Heart of the Dales, Up and Down in the Dales and Trouble at the Little Village School.

Secrets at the Little Village School

Secrets at the Little Village School
Author: Gervase Phinn
Publisher: Hodder & Stoughton
Total Pages: 557
Release: 2016-10-20
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1444779435

'[Gervase Phinn is] a worthy successor to James Herriott, and every bit as endearing.' - bestselling author Alan Titchmarsh 'It's a small village is Barton-in-the-Dale, Mrs Stirling,' said the shopkeeper. 'You ought to know that by now. Nothing can be kept secret for too long. News travels fast.' In the little village of Barton-in-the-Dale, long-hidden secrets are bubbling to the surface. Ashley Underwood and Emmet O'Malley are set to tie the knot, when a revelation from the handsome Irishman's past returns to haunt him. The town's resident nosey-parker discovers some juicy gossip about the primary school's dishy new staff-member, and head teacher Elisabeth Stirling has a very special secret of her own. As the wedding day draws closer, brewing secrets threaten to boil over. But along with the skeletons tumbling out of the closet comes plenty of laughter, drama, friendship and love. One thing's for sure: for some, life in Barton-in-the-Dale will never be the same again. Readers are loving SECRETS AT THE LITTLE VILLAGE SCHOOL: 'Wonderful' - 5 STARS 'Perfect light summer reading' - 5 STARS 'Just as good as his previous book in the series.' - 5 STARS 'I so enjoy the trials and tribulations of this Yorkshire school. Gervase is a fine writer.' - 5 STARS 'It's like having a gossip with a good friend - a beautiful series of books.' - 5 STARS

The Little Village School

The Little Village School
Author: Gervase Phinn
Publisher: Hodder & Stoughton
Total Pages: 274
Release: 2011-07-07
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1848949405

'[Gervase Phinn is] a worthy successor to James Herriott, and every bit as endearing.' - Bestselling author Alan Titchmarsh She was wearing red shoes! With silver heels! Elisabeth Devine causes quite a stir on her arrival in the village. No one can understand why the head of a big inner city school would want to come to sleepy little Barton-in-the-Dale, to a primary with more problems than school dinners. And that's not even counting the challenges the mysterious Elisabeth herself will face: a bitter former head teacher, a grumpy caretaker and a duplicitous chair of governors, to name but a few. Then there's the gossip. After all, a woman who would wear red shoes to an interview is obviously capable of anything . . . Warm, funny and poignant, Gervase Phinn's first novel creates a fictional world that's as real as can be. It will delight all his fans, and win him many more. Readers are loving THE LITTLE VILLAGE SCHOOL! 'A jolly good read.' - 5 STARS 'Superb, easy reading.' - 5 STARS 'I completely fell in love with all the characters in this book.' - 5 STARS 'Will definitely go on to read more of Gervase Phinn's works.' - 5 STARS 'Wonderful storytelling, believable characters.' - 5 STARS

Yiddishlands

Yiddishlands
Author: David G. Roskies
Publisher: Wayne State University Press
Total Pages: 241
Release: 2008-07-24
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 0814335446

A renowned scholar looks back on his life and the life of his mother, tracing the Yiddish experience through major historical events of the last century. A rich, sweeping memoir by David G. Roskies, Yiddishlands proceeds from the premise that Yiddish culture is spread out among many different people and geographic areas and transmitted through story, song, study, and the family. Roskies leads readers through Yiddishlands old and new by revisiting his personal and professional experiences and retelling his remarkable family saga in a series of lively, irreverent, and interwoven stories. Beginning with a flashback to his grandmother’s storybook wedding in 1878, Yiddishlands brings to life the major debates, struggles, and triumphs of the modern Yiddish experience, and provides readers with memorable portraits of its great writers, cultural leaders, and educators. Roskies’s story centers around Vilna, Lithuania, where his mother, Masha, was born in 1906 and where her mother, Fradl Matz, ran the legendary Matz Press, a publishing house that distributed prayer books, Bibles, and popular Yiddish literature. After falling in love with Vilna’s cabaret culture, an older man, and finally a fellow student with elbow patches on his jacket, Masha and her young family are forced to flee Europe for Montreal, via Lisbon and New York. It is in Montreal that Roskies, Masha’s youngest child, comes of age, entranced by the larger-than-life stories of his mother and the writers, artists, and performers of her social circle. Roskies recalls his own intellectual odyssey as a Yiddish scholar; his life in the original Havurah religious commune in Somerville, Massachusetts, in the 1970s; his struggle with the notion of aliyah while studying in Israel; his visit to Russia at the height of the Soviet Jewry movement; and his confrontation with his parents’ memories in a bittersweet pilgrimage to Poland. Along the way, readers of Yiddishlands meet such prominent figures as Isaac Bashevis Singer, Melekh Ravitch, Itsik Manger, Avrom Sutzkever, Esther Markish, and Rachel Korn. With Yiddishlands, readers take a whirlwind tour of modern Yiddish culture, from its cabarets and literary salons to its fierce ideological rivalries and colorful personalities. Roskies’s memoir will be essential reading for students of the recent Jewish past and of the living Yiddish present.

Professional Garde Manger

Professional Garde Manger
Author: Lou Sackett
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
Total Pages: 444
Release: 2010-03-15
Genre: Cooking
ISBN: 0470179961

Maintaining the features that have made Professional Cooking and Professional Baking standouts in the marketplace, Professional Garde Manger presents culinary students and professional working chefs with comprehensive and visual coverage of everything they need to know to master the cold kitchen. This new text on garde manger work provides step-by-step techniques and procedures covering 375 recipes and 400 recipe variations for the garde manger chef. Beautifully illustrated with line drawings and more than 500 new photos, it covers topics ranging from simple salads and hors d'oeuvres to mousellines and charcuterie specialties to careers in the field. This much-awaited text provides a complete look at this specialized area in culinary arts.

Bluegrass Banjo for the Complete Ignoramus!

Bluegrass Banjo for the Complete Ignoramus!
Author: Wayne Erbsen
Publisher: Native Ground Books & Music
Total Pages: 131
Release: 2014-05-26
Genre: Music
ISBN: 1883206677

Beginning banjo lessons have never been more fun! Written for the absolute beginner, this FUN book is guaranteed to help you learn to play bluegrass banjo (How many books come with a personal guarantee by the author?). · Teaches the plain, naked melody to 23 easy bluegrass favorites without the rolls already incorporated into the tune. · Wayne shows simple ways to embellish each melody using easy rolls. · With Wayne’s unique method, you’ll learn to think for yourself! · Learn how to play a song in different ways, rather than memorizing ONE way. · Includes a link to download 99 instructional audio tracks off our website! You WILL learn to play: Bile ‘Em Cabbage Down, Blue Ridge Mountain Blues, Columbus Stockade Blues, Down the Road, Groundhog, Little Maggie, Long Journey Home, Lynchburg Town, Man of Constant Sorrow, My Home’s Across the Blue Ridge Mountains, Nine Pound Hammer, Palms of Victory, Pass Me Not, Poor Ellen Smith, Pretty Polly, Put My Little Shoes Away, Red River Valley, Roll in My Sweet Baby’s Arms, Shall We Gather at the River, Wabash Cannonball, When I Lay My Burden Down, When the Saints Go Marching In.