Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes
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Author | : Cory O'Brien |
Publisher | : Penguin |
Total Pages | : 304 |
Release | : 2013-03-05 |
Genre | : Humor |
ISBN | : 1101619678 |
Get this: Cronus liked to eat babies. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality. Isis had bad taste in jewelry. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: • Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. • The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. • The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. • The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.
Author | : Cory O'Brien |
Publisher | : Penguin |
Total Pages | : 306 |
Release | : 2013-03-05 |
Genre | : Humor |
ISBN | : 039916040X |
From the creator of Myths Retold comes a hilarious collection of Greek, Norse, Chinese and even Sumerian myths retold in their purest, bawdiest forms! All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Did you know? Cronus liked to eat babies. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality. Isis had bad taste in jewelry. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. Still skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: • Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. • The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. • The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. • The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.
Author | : Cory O'Brien |
Publisher | : Penguin |
Total Pages | : 242 |
Release | : 2015-05-12 |
Genre | : Humor |
ISBN | : 0698186702 |
PREPARE TO BE BEAKED BY THE MAJESTIC EAGLE OF HISTORY Most of us are familiar with the greatest hits and legendary heroes of US history. In George Washington Is Cash Money, Cory O’Brien, author of Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, does away with the pomp and circumstance and calls America’s history what it is: one long, violent soap opera. In his signature clever, crude, and cuss-ridden style, O’Brien reminds us that: · Teddy Roosevelt stopped bullets with his manly chest · Harriet Tubman avoided danger by having prophetic seizures. · Joseph Smith invented Mormonism by staring into a hat full of rocks. · Billy the Kid was finally defeated by the smell of fresh bacon. And there’s plenty more Star Spangled stupidity where that came from.
Author | : Stephen P. Maran |
Publisher | : BenBella Books, Inc. |
Total Pages | : 234 |
Release | : 2009-08-04 |
Genre | : Science |
ISBN | : 1935251856 |
When the International Astronomical Union (IAU) adopted a new definition of a "planet" in August 2006, Pluto became a dwarf planet, drawing a divisive line in science and public opinions. The controversy of whether Pluto is a planet continues years later, and passion about the decision remains, pitting scientist against scientist and invoking sentiments and nostalgia from the rest of the world. With the IAU definition, the future of space objects is forever changed. Learn how this resolution came to be and what it means for astronomy, who implemented it and who is against it, and whether it's the first or millionth time the world's view of astronomy has rotated on its axis. Written by an astronomer and educator who voted for the IAU resolution—Laurence A. Marschall—and a NASA scientist who supported the opposing petition that resulted—Stephen P. Maran—Pluto Confidential leaves no perspective out and no asteroid unturned in the Pluto debate. A telescopic look inside the book: • History of planetary disputes, including why Jupiter almost wasn't acknowledged • What Bode's Law is and how it has influenced observations • Who discovered Pluto and how it was named • The Kuiper Belt and its role in what it means to be a planet • Beyond Pluto and the eight distinguished planets
Author | : Heidi Betts |
Publisher | : Kensington Publishing Corp. |
Total Pages | : 317 |
Release | : 2011-10-24 |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : 0758278519 |
Love At First Bite Nightclub dancer Chloe Lamoureaux just met the man of her dreams: Aidan Raines is charming, considerate, rich, and hot. Of course, he's a little mysterious about his age. And his favorite drink. And he's not much for sunlight. But he's asked her to marry him, and she's ready to do it. Sure, she has a few secrets too--but they'll have plenty of time to work things out while they're living happily ever after. Right? Her identical twin sister, Chuck, isn't so sure. Maybe reporting for the local Bigfoot-sighting tabloid doesn't make her an expert, but to Chuck, Aidan and his brother Sebastian look like honest-to-Dracula vampires. Especially Sebastian: beguiling, seductive, and just a hint of dangerous. Maybe she wouldn't mind him taking a little taste. But with Chloe's life in the balance, she has to know--do they want hot love or hot blood? Or maybe. . .a little of both? Praise for The Bite Before Christmas "Enjoyable reading." --Romantic Times "Inventive, gently humorous, and fast-paced, this steamy paranormal anthology offers an alternative to the typical holiday fare; perfect for readers who want their romances on the edgy side." –Library Journal
Author | : Neil Gaiman |
Publisher | : Harper Collins |
Total Pages | : 434 |
Release | : 2011-06-28 |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : 0061991120 |
The classic collaboration from the internationally bestselling authors Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, soon to be an original series starring Michael Sheen and David Tennant. ?Season 2 of Good Omens coming soon! “Good Omens . . . is something like what would have happened if Thomas Pynchon, Tom Robbins and Don DeLillo had collaborated. Lots of literary inventiveness in the plotting and chunks of very good writing and characterization. It’s a wow. It would make one hell of a movie. Or a heavenly one. Take your pick.” —Washington Post According to The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch (the world's only completely accurate book of prophecies, written in 1655, before she exploded), the world will end on a Saturday. Next Saturday, in fact. Just before dinner. So the armies of Good and Evil are amassing, Atlantis is rising, frogs are falling, tempers are flaring. Everything appears to be going according to Divine Plan. Except a somewhat fussy angel and a fast-living demon—both of whom have lived amongst Earth's mortals since The Beginning and have grown rather fond of the lifestyle—are not actually looking forward to the coming Rapture. And someone seems to have misplaced the Antichrist . . .
Author | : Yukio Mishima |
Publisher | : Vintage |
Total Pages | : 178 |
Release | : 2018-11-27 |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : 0525434151 |
Translated into English for the first time, a gripping short novel about an affair gone wrong, from the acclaimed Japanese author, Yukio Mishima. Set in rural Japan shortly after World War II, The Frolic of the Beasts tells the story of a strange and utterly absorbing love triangle between a former university student, Kōji; his would-be mentor, the eminent literary critic Ippei Kusakado; and Ippei's beautiful, enigmatic wife, Yūko. When brought face-to-face with one of Ippei's many marital indiscretions, Kōji finds his growing desire for Yūko compels him to action in a way that changes all three of their lives profoundly. Originally published in 1961 and now available in English for the first time, The Frolic of the Beasts is a haunting examination of the various guises we assume throughout our lives, and a tale of psychological self-entrapment, seduction, and murder.
Author | : Michael Swanwick |
Publisher | : Open Road Media |
Total Pages | : 256 |
Release | : 2016-05-31 |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : 1504036468 |
Modern technology is pitted against ancient dinosaurs in this scientific thriller James Rollins calls “Jurassic Park set amid the paradox of time travel.” Paleontologist Richard Leyster is perfectly content in his position with the Smithsonian excavating dinosaur fossil sites and publishing his findings . . . until the mysterious Harry Griffin appears in his office with a cooler containing the head of a freshly killed Stegosaurus. The enigmatic stranger offers Leyster the opportunity to travel back in time to study living dinosaurs in their original habitats—but with strings attached. Soon, the paleontologist finds himself, along with a select team of colleagues—including his chief rival, the ambitious and often ruthless Dr. Gertrude Salley—making discoveries that would prove impossible working from fossils alone. But when Leyster and his team are stranded in the Cretaceous, they must learn to survive while still keeping alive the joy of scientific discovery. This shocking novel spans hundreds of millions of years and deals with the ultimate fate not only of the dinosaurs but also of all humankind. Nominated for the Locus Award, the Hugo Award, and the Nebula Award for Best Novel, Bones of the Earth cements author Michael Swanwick as an author who “proves that sci-fi has plenty of room for wonder and literary values” (San Francisco Chronicle).
Author | : Tim Collins |
Publisher | : The Salariya Book Company |
Total Pages | : 196 |
Release | : 2021-02-02 |
Genre | : Juvenile Nonfiction |
ISBN | : 1912006677 |
These hilarious fictional diaries put us inside the heads of hapless figures from history. Meet Roderick – a scrawny, unremarkable teenager keeping a diary of his life in the Middle Ages. When he’s chosen to become a knight on a quest to find a holy relic (the fingers of St Stephen), Roderick is determined to prove his honour and graduate from zero to hero. ‘Get Real’ fact boxes feature throughout, providing historical context and further information, as well as a timeline, historical biographies and a glossary in the end matter.
Author | : Andrew Dickson |
Publisher | : Random House |
Total Pages | : 514 |
Release | : 2015-10-15 |
Genre | : Literary Criticism |
ISBN | : 1448155096 |
Anti-apartheid activist, Bollywood screenwriter, Nazi pin-up, hero of the Wild West: this is Shakespeare as you have never seen him before. ‘Extraordinarily exhilarating ... like no other Shakespeare criticism you have ever read’ (Margaret Drabble) ~ ‘A tour de force by any standards’ (David Crystal) ~ ‘Revelatory’ (James Shapiro) ~ ‘Brilliantly original’ (Michael Pye) From the sixteenth-century Baltic to the American Revolution, from colonial India to the skyscrapers of modern-day Shanghai, Shakespeare’s plays appear at the most fascinating of times and in the most unexpected of places. But what is it about William Shakespeare – a man who never once set foot outside England – that has made him at home in so many places around the globe? Travelling across four continents, six countries and 400 years, Worlds Elsewhere is an attempt to understand how Shakespeare has become the international phenomenon he is – and why.