Worlds Greatest Dirty Jokes 2018
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Author | : Mad Comedy |
Publisher | : Createspace Independent Publishing Platform |
Total Pages | : 162 |
Release | : 2018-06-25 |
Genre | : |
ISBN | : 9781721894871 |
I stopped a girl in the street last night and handed her a rape alarm and some pepper spray. She looked confused and said, "What are these for?" I started unbuttoning my jeans and replied, "I like a challenge." Outrageous, offensive, and undeniably funny, this collection of hundreds of the dirtiest, raunchiest, nastiest jokes ever compiled is sure to leave you rolling in laughter. One day a man was hiking down an old dirt road when he noticed, down an embankment, a naked man tied to a large tree. The hiker ran to the man, and while removing his backpack, asked, "What happened to you?" The tied-up man began to tell him, "I picked up a hitchhiker and a few miles down the road he pulled a gun on me. He told me to pull over and took my car, my money, and all of my clothes. Then he tied me up to this tree." The hiker unzipped his fly and said, "Boy, this just isn't your day, is it?"
Author | : Mad Comedy |
Publisher | : Independently Published |
Total Pages | : 452 |
Release | : 2019-06-30 |
Genre | : |
ISBN | : 9781077124349 |
Huge compendium of jokes so filthy, so offensive, so disturbing that this book has been BANNED ON CAMPUS! Millenial Workers A man was warned repeatedly about hiring lazy, know-it-all, crybaby millenials to work in his factory. But he remembered when he was young and just starting out, so he wanted to give them a chance. One morning, one of his tattooed millenials knocked on his office door. "Yes?" he said. "Boss, I have a problem," she said. "What is it?" the boss asked. "Well, I don't think it's appropriate that we test our products on animals. It's cruel." "I realize your generation is very sensitive to these things," the boss said thoughtfully. "But we have to ensure our products are safe before we sell them to consumers. Shampoo companies test on animals, cosmetic companies test on animals. It's a very common practice." "But Boss, we make dildoes!" she exclaimed. Medical Problem A man says to his doctor, "You gotta help me, doc!" The doctor says, "What's your problem?" The guy replies, "Every morning I wake up with my 'morning flagpole', so I give the missus a quick one, then go to work. On the way to work, I car pool with the next door neighbor's wife, who gives me a blow job during the ride to work." The doctor raises his eyebrows. The man continues, "Once I get to work, I do some work, but after about two hours, I go into the photocopy room and haveit off with the one of the young male interns in the office. At lunch I take my secretary out to a hotel and give her a good bonking. Later in the afternoon, I give it to the boss's wife, long and hard." The doctor's mouth falls open. The man continues, "Then I go home and slip the maid a few inches, and then at night I give the missus another screw." "Oh, I see," said the doctor, trying to maintain his composure. "But what exactly is your problem?" The man says, "Well, it hurts when I masturbate."
Author | : Oliver Gaspirtz |
Publisher | : Westhoff Publishing |
Total Pages | : 114 |
Release | : 2017-03-19 |
Genre | : Humor |
ISBN | : |
Are you a self-righteous political correctness crusader? Looking for the next big thing to get all outraged over? Do you plan on being highly offended by this book? Remember, just because you find dead baby jokes insensitive and offensive doesn't mean you have the right to ruin the fun for everyone else. Think of it this way: Just because you have a nut allergy, you don't get to ruin the Peanuts movie for everyone else. These are just jokes. Terribly tasteless jokes. But just jokes nonetheless. You know, Freedom of Speech and what not. No actual babies were harmed during the making of this book. So don't get your politically correct panties in a knot. Relax, take a deep breath, and allow yourself to laugh. I won't tell anybody what a sick puppy you are. It'll be our little secret. It's ok to laugh at terrible jokes. Really. (More about that at the end of this book.) Gaspirtz
Author | : Mr. K |
Publisher | : Citadel Press |
Total Pages | : 0 |
Release | : 2001-06 |
Genre | : Humor |
ISBN | : 9780806521268 |
The scores of new jokes in this volume are way too dirty and offensive to be repeated here. Author Mr. "K" offers a variety of filthy, furiously funny, and totally tasteless jokes. Buy this book and become the life of any party -- or get kicked out of it!
Author | : Geoff Tibballs |
Publisher | : Constable |
Total Pages | : 512 |
Release | : 2005-10-13 |
Genre | : Wit and humor |
ISBN | : 9781841199672 |
The Mammoth Book of Dirty, Sick, X-Rated and Politically Incorrect Jokes is the ultimate collection of X-rated and decidedly politically incorrect jokes - an indispensable guide to the funny, the fearless and the filthy. Be warned, the contents of this spanking new bumper book are not for the faint-hearted. Even a blonde would blush ...if she got any of them.
Author | : Lynne Truss |
Publisher | : Penguin |
Total Pages | : 119 |
Release | : 2004-04-12 |
Genre | : Language Arts & Disciplines |
ISBN | : 1101218290 |
We all know the basics of punctuation. Or do we? A look at most neighborhood signage tells a different story. Through sloppy usage and low standards on the internet, in email, and now text messages, we have made proper punctuation an endangered species. In Eats, Shoots & Leaves, former editor Lynne Truss dares to say, in her delightfully urbane, witty, and very English way, that it is time to look at our commas and semicolons and see them as the wonderful and necessary things they are. This is a book for people who love punctuation and get upset when it is mishandled. From the invention of the question mark in the time of Charlemagne to George Orwell shunning the semicolon, this lively history makes a powerful case for the preservation of a system of printing conventions that is much too subtle to be mucked about with.
Author | : Mad Comedy |
Publisher | : |
Total Pages | : 60 |
Release | : 2019-11-23 |
Genre | : |
ISBN | : 9781710925388 |
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but will go deep into their hearts. For the rest of their lives, whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!" Trump replies, "I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!" So the Pope slapped him. Brought to you by the comic geniuses of Mad Comedy, World's Dumbest President is a rich compendium of the funniest Donald Trump jokes ever collected. Q. How many White House advisors does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. They're supposed to keep the President in the dark.
Author | : Mojang AB |
Publisher | : |
Total Pages | : 0 |
Release | : 2019 |
Genre | : Games & Activities |
ISBN | : 9781405295253 |
Did you hear about the creeper's birthday party? It really went off with a BANG! Why does Alex love redstone lamps? Because they light up her life. Where do tired miners sleep? On bedrock. The official Minecraft Joke Book is packed full of hilarious jokes that will have you laughing your blocks off! There's something for every Minecrafter, whatever their age. Collect all of the official Minecraft books to become the best Minecrafter you can be: Minecraft Guide to Exploration: 9781405285971 Minecraft Guide to Creative: 9781405285988 Minecraft Guide to Redstone: 9781405286008 Minecraft Guide to the Nether and the End: 9781405285995 Minecraft Guide to Enchantments and Potions: 9781405288958 Minecraft Guide to PVP Minigames: 9781405288965 Minecraft Guide to Farming: 9781405290104 Minecraft Blockopedia: 9781405273534 Minecraft: Exploded Builds: Medieval Fortress: 9781405284172 Minecraft The Survivors' Book of Secrets: 9781405283335 Minecraft Survival Tin: 9781405288200 Minecraft Mobestiary: 9781405286022 Minecraft: The Ultimate Construction Collection: 9781405291927 Minecraft is a multi-platform block-based gaming sensation available on Xbox, PlayStation, PC and mobile devices. Whether you're in Creative, Survival or Hardcore Mode, the official Mojang-approved Minecraft books contain all the advice you need to survive and thrive.
Author | : Jason S Jones |
Publisher | : Han Global Trading Pte Limited |
Total Pages | : 76 |
Release | : 2020-10 |
Genre | : |
ISBN | : 9781702915786 |
#NSFW Make Sure No One Is Watching Behind You! Why is a vagina similar to bad weather? Once it wets, you have to go in. A little laughter goes a long way and certainly, Naughty Adult Joke Book: Dirty, Slutty, Funny Jokes that Broke the Censors, will take you to a great length. It is certainly one of the richest collections of naughty jokes for the adult audience. The book's chapters sort the jokes by their lengths. Of the two chapters, one is a compilation of some of the funniest short jokes, and the other is a collection of extremely hilarious long jokes, each with its unique setting. Naughty jokes are appropriate for adults; they just require the right setting. You may not be found telling these jokes at a religious function, but at a social event with friends, the jokes in this book will be the highlight of the evening. Many people find it difficult to start a conversation, and good jokes can kickstart a lively conversation. Those who like to be the life of the party get their material from content as interesting as that presented in this book. Ever wondered how some people can keep an audience for the entire day or the evening? While a number are naturally humorous, others get their material from books like this one. Reading jokes works like reading any other kind of literature; the more you read, the more you shape your mind to think in that direction. Therefore, if you train your mind to notice the queer and the funny in various situations, then you will do so even in other unrelated situations. Suddenly, your life and your way of thinking will become more positive. To that end, it is hoped that this book will be the light that lights up your path because it will be creating a jolly mood on the inside, change how you perceive situations, and even change how you relate with others. You will become good at initiating conversations and a fun person that people will constantly look forward to speaking with. You will also teach others around you to initiate the change that you have just initiated. Overall, reading these jokes is certainly going to make you feel better and in control of what happens in and around you. Act now by reading this special book today and begin the movement that turns around the lives of people with humor! Inside this book you will find: - Age-appropriate jokes - A vast collection of long jokes that provide context to make them relatable to the readers - The most interesting collection of short jokes that makes them easy to read on the go - The most well-ordered compilation of adult humor jokes - Some of the most humorous jokes you want to tell your friends - A list of some of the most good-natured jokes, none is trashy or disgusting - Some of the most all-inclusive jokes that cross the boundaries of race, color, sexual orientation, religion, and, other demarcations - Some of the most simple-worded jokes to promote understanding across the audience spectrum - The most easy-worded jokes that promote memory, so you can tell them to your friends Start Cumming Laughing Today By Clicking The "BUY NOW" Button
Author | : Rudy A. Swale |
Publisher | : Simon and Schuster |
Total Pages | : 334 |
Release | : 2008-05-28 |
Genre | : Humor |
ISBN | : 1569759456 |
THE BIGGEST, BADDEST, BADASSEST BOOK OF LEWD, CRUDE AND FUNNY-AS-$#!+ JOKES •What did the two lesbian frogs say to each other? We do taste like chicken! •What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? Her ankles. •The journalist asked the politician, “Your assistant said publicly that you have a small penis. Would you like to comment? “Yes, I would,” said the politician. “The truth is my assistant has a big mouth.” •A guy walks in on his wife having sex with another man and says, “what the hell are you two doing?” His wife turns to her lover and says, “I told you he was stupid.” •How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an altar boy. If you think no joke is too raw as long as it’s funny—this is the book for you! This massive collection of laugh-out-loud and totally politically incorrect jokes is sure to have you and your friends rolling in hysterics.