To a certain extent, the story of Robby's life and death is a mystery. No therapist was able to offer a definitive diagnosis. Robby's personality, so charismatic one moment, so irrational the next, defied categorizing. His downward spiral was inexorable and inexplicable. When he finally lost his battle with mental illness, it was as if a grey shroud had been pulled over my family's world. This tragedy was incomprehensible to me and made me look deep inside my soul to try to find some answers. Art provides perspective and insight. It helps people work out their feelings creatively. I did not realize it at the time, but the paintings I did during this period were duplicating his journey from the real world into one of confusion and madness. When I found Robby's journals it was evident that he was able to recognize what was happening to him. I spent weeks reading and rereading Robby's writings and comparing them with my artwork. There was an almost ethereal connection. It was then that I made the commitment to write this book and try to explain the deep relationship between a mother and her son by telling his story through the twin lenses of my painting and his writing. This book probes deeper into the events of Robby's life and death. I want to explore questions such as: How can a happy, normal boy become such a tortured soul? Why did he become obsessed with Orthodox Judaism and what prevented the psychiatrists, psychologists and social workers from helping him? Why wasn't the love of his parents, siblings, other family members and friends, enough to save him?