These Got Me Punched
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| Author | : Nicholas Stevens |
| Publisher | : Mascot Books |
| Total Pages | : 240 |
| Release | : 2020-01-07 |
| Genre | : Family & Relationships |
| ISBN | : 9781643075181 |
This is a book about kisses. Actually, it's about learning and growing and adapting and submitting, but the unifying feature is a kiss. Initially, it contained 49 stories-some accounts of the kiss, some where the kiss is an ancillary detail to a bigger story, some comprised of dialog, a poem, a song, some haikus, and even a single piece of fiction. Nicholas posed a challenge to his co-workers during one of their daily mundane tasks: remember the names of everyone they had ever kissed on the mouth. His co-workers were stumped, but Nicholas remembered them all. Good, bad, or other, they all meant something, and potential, intimacy, and the potential for intimacy created lasting impressions on an incurable (and hormonal) young romantic. Nicholas wrote the first 49 chapters as a homage to the 50th (and presumably last) woman he would ever kiss: his wife. The original plan was to write only 49 stories of kisses because the 50th story was theirs and theirs alone. It was a story that he thought had no ending. But the 50th story is included here, and it's also the namesake of the collection
| Author | : |
| Publisher | : Prospect Park Books |
| Total Pages | : 137 |
| Release | : 2015-08-17 |
| Genre | : Humor |
| ISBN | : 1938849574 |
"Anger is like an essential vitamin, and Jen has given me even more reasons to be angry. I couldn't be happier or healthier."—Lewis Black, stand-up comedian, actor, author, and regular on The Daily Show The second edition of Things I Want to Punch in the Face brings humor writer Jennifer Worick's newest and most popular diatribes about the most annoying things in everyday life and modern American society, including: Cold-Pressed Coffee TED Talks Evites Cosplay Polar Bear Clubs Family Car Stickers Mixologists Scrabble Yoga Pants #blessed And there's more, so much more. From nail art to Hobbits, passwords to auto-tune, Worick takes aim at the copious bounty of annoyances that irk her shit. And ours. Jennifer Worick has written two dozen books on pop culture, humor, and crafts, including two Worst Case Scenario books (Chronicle), the hit Nancy Drew's Guide to Life (Running Press), and the successful first edition of Things I Want to Punch in the Face (Prospect Park Books). She has toured the nation delivering a hilarious slide show on dating and sex to college students; she co-runs The Business of Books; she writes two blogs; and she has more than twenty-two thousand Twitter followers. Jen lives in Seattle, Washington.
| Author | : Paul Acampora |
| Publisher | : Roaring Brook Press |
| Total Pages | : 175 |
| Release | : 2011-08-30 |
| Genre | : Juvenile Fiction |
| ISBN | : 1429976802 |
Zachary's mom just up and disappeared from their home in Copper Lake, Colorado. The good news is that Zachary and his dad are trying to move on, and Falls, Connecticut is just the place for a fresh start. With the help of a new friend, Rachel, and her brother Teddy, Zachary is learning about new beginnings, the power of forgiveness, and the quirky people that make life interesting.
| Author | : Jen Mann |
| Publisher | : Ballantine Books |
| Total Pages | : 226 |
| Release | : 2014-09-09 |
| Genre | : Humor |
| ISBN | : 0345549988 |
NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear
| Author | : Susan Renee |
| Publisher | : Createspace Independent Publishing Platform |
| Total Pages | : 234 |
| Release | : 2017-01-19 |
| Genre | : |
| ISBN | : 9781542498302 |
By day, I manage The Hole Punch, and it isn't as sexy as it sounds. It's an office supply store--not an establishment for vibrators and butt plugs. By nighttime though, that's when I unleash an exciting passion of mine--one that I'm not prepared to share just yet. I don't have the time or the energy for a relationship right now. Besides, sex with colleagues is always a bad idea. Now, sex with customers? That's something I can get on board with, especially since Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome keeps showing up and setting my insides on fire. Although I don't know his name or what he does, I can only imagine what he needs with piles of paper, pens, post-its, and highlighters. Maybe one day, if I'm lucky, I can manage his hole-punch.
| Author | : Colin Jost |
| Publisher | : Crown |
| Total Pages | : 346 |
| Release | : 2020-07-14 |
| Genre | : Biography & Autobiography |
| ISBN | : 1101906324 |
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • In these hilarious essays, the Saturday Night Live head writer and Weekend Update co-anchor learns how to take a beating. “I always wanted to punch his face before I read this book. Now I just want to kick him in the balls.”—Larry David NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY Cosmopolitan • Vulture • Parade If there’s one trait that makes someone well suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch—metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. From growing up in a family of firefighters on Staten Island to commuting three hours a day to high school and “seeing the sights” (like watching a Russian woman throw a stroller off the back of a ferry), to attending Harvard while Facebook was created, Jost shares how he has navigated the world like a slightly smarter Forrest Gump. You’ll also discover things about Jost that will surprise and confuse you, like how Jimmy Buffett saved his life, how Czech teenagers attacked him with potato salad, how an insect laid eggs inside his legs, and how he competed in a twenty-five-man match at WrestleMania (and almost won). You'll go behind the scenes at SNL and Weekend Update (where he's written some of the most memorable sketches and jokes of the past fifteen years). And you’ll experience the life of a touring stand-up comedian—from performing in rural college cafeterias at noon to opening for Dave Chappelle at Radio City Music Hall. For every accomplishment (hosting the Emmys), there is a setback (hosting the Emmys). And for every absurd moment (watching paramedics give CPR to a raccoon), there is an honest, emotional one (recounting his mother’s experience on the scene of the Twin Towers’ collapse on 9/11). Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy—with a face you can’t help but want to punch.
| Author | : Renée Carlino |
| Publisher | : Simon and Schuster |
| Total Pages | : 320 |
| Release | : 2015-08-18 |
| Genre | : Fiction |
| ISBN | : 1501105787 |
From the USA TODAY bestselling author of Sweet Thing and Nowhere But Here comes a love story about a Craigslist “missed connection” post that gives two people a second chance at love fifteen years after they were separated in New York City. To the Green-eyed Lovebird: We met fifteen years ago, almost to the day, when I moved my stuff into the NYU dorm room next to yours at Senior House. You called us fast friends. I like to think it was more. We lived on nothing but the excitement of finding ourselves through music (you were obsessed with Jeff Buckley), photography (I couldn’t stop taking pictures of you), hanging out in Washington Square Park, and all the weird things we did to make money. I learned more about myself that year than any other. Yet, somehow, it all fell apart. We lost touch the summer after graduation when I went to South America to work for National Geographic. When I came back, you were gone. A part of me still wonders if I pushed you too hard after the wedding… I didn’t see you again until a month ago. It was a Wednesday. You were rocking back on your heels, balancing on that thick yellow line that runs along the subway platform, waiting for the F train. I didn’t know it was you until it was too late, and then you were gone. Again. You said my name; I saw it on your lips. I tried to will the train to stop, just so I could say hello. After seeing you, all of the youthful feelings and memories came flooding back to me, and now I’ve spent the better part of a month wondering what your life is like. I might be totally out of my mind, but would you like to get a drink with me and catch up on the last decade and a half? M
| Author | : Ramin Setoodeh |
| Publisher | : Macmillan |
| Total Pages | : 248 |
| Release | : 2019-04-02 |
| Genre | : Biography & Autobiography |
| ISBN | : 1250112109 |
THE INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES AND WALL STREET JOURNAL BESTSELLER Like Fire & Fury, the gossipy real-life soap opera behind a serious show. When Barbara Walters launched The View, network executives told her that hosting it would tarnish her reputation. Instead, within ten years, she’d revolutionized morning TV and made household names of her co-hosts: Joy Behar, Star Jones, Meredith Vieira and Elisabeth Hasselbeck. But the daily chatfest didn’t just comment on the news. It became the news. And the headlines barely scratched the surface. Based on unprecedented access, including stunning interviews with nearly every host, award-winning journalist Ramin Setoodeh takes you backstage where the stars really spoke their minds. Here's the full story of how Star, then Rosie, then Whoopi tried to take over the show, while Barbara struggled to maintain control of it all, a modern-day Lear with her media-savvy daughters. You'll read about how so many co-hosts had a tough time fitting in, suffered humiliations at the table, then pushed themselves away, feeling betrayed—one nearly quitting during a commercial. Meanwhile, the director was being driven insane, especially by Rosie. Setoodeh uncovers the truth about Star’s weight loss and wedding madness. Rosie’s feud with Trump. Whoopi’s toxic relationship with Rosie. Barbara’s difficulty stepping away. Plus, all the unseen hugs, snubs, tears—and one dead rodent. Ladies Who Punch shows why The View can be mimicked and mocked, but it can never be matched.
| Author | : Kwame Mbalia |
| Publisher | : Disney Electronic Content |
| Total Pages | : 491 |
| Release | : 2019-10-15 |
| Genre | : Juvenile Fiction |
| ISBN | : 1368054412 |
Best-selling author Rick Riordan presents Kwame Mbalia's epic fantasy, a middle grade American Gods set in a richly-imagined world populated with African American folk heroes and West African gods. Seventh grader Tristan Strong feels anything but strong ever since he failed to save his best friend when they were in a bus accident together. All he has left of Eddie is the journal his friend wrote stories in. Tristan is dreading the month he's going to spend on his grandparents' farm in Alabama, where he's being sent to heal from the tragedy. But on his first night there, a sticky creature shows up in his bedroom and steals Eddie's notebook. Tristan chases after it--is that a doll?--and a tug-of-war ensues between them underneath a Bottle Tree. In a last attempt to wrestle the journal out of the creature's hands, Tristan punches the tree, accidentally ripping open a chasm into the MidPass, a volatile place with a burning sea, haunted bone ships, and iron monsters that are hunting the inhabitants of this world. Tristan finds himself in the middle of a battle that has left black American folk heroes John Henry and Brer Rabbit exhausted. In order to get back home, Tristan and these new allies will need to entice the god Anansi, the Weaver, to come out of hiding and seal the hole in the sky. But bartering with the trickster Anansi always comes at a price. Can Tristan save this world before he loses more of the things he loves?
| Author | : Casey Rand |
| Publisher | : Penguin |
| Total Pages | : 224 |
| Release | : 2010-11-02 |
| Genre | : Humor |
| ISBN | : 1101445092 |
Society tells us to accept people for who they are. Sometimes society is wrong. Meet the best of the absolute worst-the perpetrators of the most wretched demonstrations of moral conduct ever: Super Snorer Terrible Baby Namer Hot Water User-Upper Express Checkout Cheater No-Umbrella Etiquette Lady Eight-Minute Voicemail Leaver Dude Who Takes Board Games Too Seriously People Who Deserve It exposes everyone and everything whose behavior, life choices, and sometimes odor leave humanity with only one painful option: a punch to the face.
