The Velvet Rage
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Author | : Alan Downs |
Publisher | : Da Capo Lifelong Books |
Total Pages | : 224 |
Release | : 2006-04-25 |
Genre | : Psychology |
ISBN | : 9780738210612 |
The gay male world today is characterized by seductive beauty, artful creativity, flamboyant sexuality, and, encouragingly, unprecedented acceptability in society. Yet despite the progress of the recent past, gay men still find themselves asking, "Are we really better off?" The inevitable byproduct of growing up gay in a straight world continues to be the internalization of shame, a shame gay men may strive to obscure with a fa?ade of beauty, creativity, or material success. Drawing on contemporary psychological research, the author's own journey to be free of anger and of shame, as well as the stories of many of his friends and clients, The Velvet Rage outlines the three distinct stages to emotional well-being for gay men. Offering profoundly beneficial strategies to stop the insidious cycle of avoidance and self-defeating behavior, The Velvet Rage is an empowering book that will influence the public discourse on gay culture, and positively change the lives of gay men who read it.
Author | : Alan Downs |
Publisher | : Da Capo Lifelong Books |
Total Pages | : 274 |
Release | : 2012-06-05 |
Genre | : Social Science |
ISBN | : 0738215856 |
In this moving guide, a gay man shares his personal journey of letting go of shame and moving forward with self-compassion and healing. Even though an entire generation of men have openly and freely come out of the closet, gay men still struggle with self-acceptance. Sexually transmitted diseases, depression, and suicide occur more frequently for gay men than straight men. It doesn’t have to be this way. Through brave individual stories and compassionate analysis, The Velvet Rage explores how shame is insidious, and can be traced back to childhood feelings of “otherness”. Drawing on contemporary psychological research, Alan Downs offers a path to emotional well-being and an end to self-defeating behavior. Velvet Rage is an empowering book you'll wish you read long ago. It’s not too late to begin the healing process.
Author | : Walt Odets |
Publisher | : Farrar, Straus and Giroux |
Total Pages | : 368 |
Release | : 2019-06-04 |
Genre | : Social Science |
ISBN | : 0374719322 |
A moving exploration of how gay men construct their identities, fight to be themselves, and live authentically It goes without saying that even today, it’s not easy to be gay in America. While young gay men often come out more readily, even those from the most progressive of backgrounds still struggle with the legacy of early-life stigma and a deficit of self-acceptance, which can fuel doubt, regret, and, at worst, self-loathing. And this is to say nothing of the ongoing trauma wrought by AIDS, which is all too often relegated to history. Drawing on his work as a clinical psychologist during and in the aftermath of the epidemic, Walt Odets reflects on what it means to survive and figure out a way to live in a new, uncompromising future, both for the men who endured the upheaval of those years and for the younger men who have come of age since then, at a time when an HIV epidemic is still ravaging the gay community, especially among the most marginalized. Through moving stories—of friends and patients, and his own—Odets considers how experiences early in life launch men on trajectories aimed at futures that are not authentically theirs. He writes to help reconstruct how we think about gay life by considering everything from the misleading idea of “the homosexual,” to the diversity and richness of gay relationships, to the historical role of stigma and shame and the significance of youth and of aging. Crawling out from under the trauma of destructive early-life experience and the two epidemics, and into a century of shifting social values, provides an opportunity to explore possibilities rather than live with limitations imposed by others. Though it is drawn from decades of private practice, activism, and life in the gay community, Odets’s work achieves remarkable universality. At its core, Out of the Shadows is driven by his belief that it is time that we act based on who we are and not who others are or who they would want us to be. We—particularly the young—must construct our own paths through life. Out of the Shadows is a necessary, impassioned argument for how and why we must all take hold of our futures.
Author | : Matthew Todd |
Publisher | : Black Swan |
Total Pages | : 0 |
Release | : 2018 |
Genre | : Gay men |
ISBN | : 9780552778404 |
Written by Matthew Todd, editor of Attitude, the UK's best-selling gay magazine, Straight Jacket is a revolutionary clarion call for gay men, the wider LGBT community, their friends and family. Part memoir, part ground-breaking polemic, it looks beneath the shiny facade of contemporary gay culture and asks if gay people are as happy as they could be - and if not, why not? In an attempt to find the answers to this and many other difficult questions, Matthew Todd explores why statistics show a disproportionate number of gay people suffer from mental health problems, including anxiety, depression, addiction, suicidal thoughts and behaviour, and why significant numbers experience difficulty in sustaining meaningful relationships.
Author | : Joe Kort |
Publisher | : ReadHowYouWant.com |
Total Pages | : 322 |
Release | : 2010-11-26 |
Genre | : Social Science |
ISBN | : 1459608429 |
Openly gay therapist Joe Kort provides 10 powerful and positive steps gay men can take to isolate and overcome self-defeating behavior patterns, and move in healthier and more rewarding directions: Take Charge of Their Own Lives Affirm Themselves by Coming Out Resolve Differences With Parents and Relatives 'Graduate' From Delayed Adolescence Avoid - or Overcome - Sexual Addiction -Learn from Successful Mentors Whove Been There, Done That Take Advantage of 'Therapy Workouts' Achieve - and Maintain - Rewarding Relationships Understand the Stages of Loves Commit to Their Partner.These solid and reliable 'Top 10' life steps that have been most helpful to Joe Korts clients in his 16 years of working with hundreds of gay men, are presented in an engaging and easy-to-understand manner and are supplemented by case histories from his practice. These are time-tested, practical decisions gay men can make in their search for emotional, sexual and personal fulfillment
Author | : Gershen Kaufman |
Publisher | : Doubleday Books |
Total Pages | : 312 |
Release | : 1996 |
Genre | : Psychology |
ISBN | : |
Gershen Kaufman and Lev Raphael expose the role shame has come to play in the lives of gay men and lesbians. The authors break the silence surrounding gay and lesbian experience so that individuals can "come out" of shame and begin a path toward personal growth and acceptance.
Author | : Temple West |
Publisher | : Macmillan |
Total Pages | : 417 |
Release | : 2015-05-12 |
Genre | : Young Adult Fiction |
ISBN | : 1250063612 |
Equal parts steamy and funny, with a few genuinely creepy moments, this paranormal romance has everything -- compelling characters, plenty of witty banter, and a romance that just might be to die for. After losing both her parents before age 17, aspiring designer Caitlin Holte feels like her whole world has been turned upside down, and that was before she accidentally attracted the attention of a demon. Then, she learns that her hot, bad-boy neighbor, Adrian -- who might have just saved her life -- is actually a half-demon vampire. Suddenly, Caitlin is stuck with a vampire bodyguard who feels that the best way to protect her is to become her pretend boyfriend. Trouble is, Caitlin is starting to fall in love for real, while Adrian can never love a human. Caitlin trusts Adrian to keep her safe from his demon father, but will he be able to protect her heart? Temple West’s debut novel Velvet is a sexy, delightful romance chosen by readers like you for Macmillan's young adult imprint Swoon Reads. Praise for Velvet: “This romantic Twilight readalike shines with credible dialogue and fully developed characters.” —School Library Journal "Velvet is fun and very entertaining with snappy dialogue, awesome characters and some solid teen angst.” —The Windy Pages
Author | : A.J. Bond |
Publisher | : North Atlantic Books |
Total Pages | : 346 |
Release | : 2021-09-07 |
Genre | : Self-Help |
ISBN | : 1623175569 |
The go-to guide to understand and unpack shame: what it is, why we feel it, and how to undo the lies it tells us about ourselves. Are you ready to get Discomfortable? This is a book about shame: what it is, why we have it, and how we can break its hold on our happiness. We all know shame: it's that feeling that tells us that somehow, who we are is inherently wrong. It's more than embarrassment or regret: it shakes us to the core. And most of all, it tells us that we need to be, feel, and act differently in order to be seen, loved, and accepted. Author and "shame-ed" coach AJ Bond takes us through his own shame breakthrough, sharing how he went from I'd rather die than be gay to uncovering and reclaiming his inherent wholeness and worth. With unexpected humor, warmth, and candid personal stories, Bond shows readers: Why shame shows up--the trauma, fixed mindsets, and messaging that give it a foothold How shame tricks you into believing there's something wrong with you, even when you're perfectly right The evolutionary reasons we humans developed a sense of shame (and why it doesn't serve us today) How to manage and deprogram shame through connection, gratitude, and empowered choice How we can re-parent ourselves, be fully seen, and feel fully loved Bond shines a light on this feeling that doesn't want to be seen, heard, or named--and invites us to bring our own shame into the open and release it to reclaim and reframe our lives in a powerful new way.
Author | : Andrew Tobias |
Publisher | : Ballantine Books |
Total Pages | : 257 |
Release | : 1993-05-11 |
Genre | : Biography & Autobiography |
ISBN | : 0345381769 |
The classic account of growing up gay in America. "The best little boy in the world never had wet dreams or masturbated; he always topped his class, honored mom and dad, deferred to elders and excelled in sports . . . . The best little boy in the world was . . . the model IBM exec . . . The best little boy in the world was a closet case who 'never read anything about homosexuality.' . . . John Reid comes out slowly, hilariously, brilliantly. One reads this utterly honest account with the shock of recognition." The New York Times "The quality of this book is fantastic because it comes of equal parts honesty and logic and humor. It is far from being the story of a Gay crusader, nor is it the story of a closet queen. It is the story of a normal boy growing into maturity without managing to get raped into, or taunted because of, his homosexuality. . . . He is bright enough to be aware of his hangups and the reasons for them. And he writes well enough that he doesn't resort to sensationalism . . . ." San Francisco Bay Area Reporter
Author | : |
Publisher | : Harper San Francisco |
Total Pages | : 280 |
Release | : 1994 |
Genre | : Psychology |
ISBN | : |
Gay spirituality and sensibility come to light in these pages of striking portraits and trenchant interviews. Thompson brings out the unique contributions of the esteemed gay men - including Will Roscoe, Joseph Kramer, Harry Hay, James Broughton, Andrew Harvey, Paul Monette, Malcolm Boyd, and Ram Dass - who lead the spiritual life.Thompson elicits vivid musings on such provocative issues as the third gender, S & M, ritual as æholy fire', and spirituality in the age of Aids. His interviews call out the deepest emotions of each of these vibrant leaders who reveal, as never before, the spirit and the soul of the gay life.