The Trauma of Shame and the Making of the Self

The Trauma of Shame and the Making of the Self
Author: Shelley Stokes
Publisher: Page Publishing Inc
Total Pages: 140
Release: 2018-08-20
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 1642981702

Shame influences more of our thoughts and actions than many other emotions. Used as a punishment for bad behavior, shame acts as an incentive for us to behave in socially acceptable ways. As a common method used to regulate children's behavior, shame is by far one of the most pervasive socializing agents. Many of our more persistent, punitive, and critical feelings about ourselves stem from humiliations in early childhood even if we don't remember the specific events that prompted them. While we all experience shame from time to time, when shame becomes toxic, it can play a central role in our life-long development and functioning. At its worst, shame can become a devastating attack on one's personhood and a threat to the integrity of the self. Many books on shame and the process of healing have been written, but few have been written specifically from a psychodynamic depth psychology perspective. It is intended that The Trauma of Shame and The Making of the Self will make an important contribution to that effort. Shelley Stokes, PhD, and Sherron Lewis, LMFT Authors of Letting Go and Taking the Chance to be Real (Lewis and Stokes 2017)

Understanding and Treating Chronic Shame

Understanding and Treating Chronic Shame
Author: Patricia A. DeYoung
Publisher: Routledge
Total Pages: 329
Release: 2015-02-11
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 1317560892

Chronic shame is painful, corrosive, and elusive. It resists self-help and undermines even intensive psychoanalysis. Patricia A. DeYoung’s cutting-edge book gives chronic shame the serious attention it deserves, integrating new brain science with an inclusive tradition of relational psychotherapy. She looks behind the myriad symptoms of shame to its relational essence. As DeYoung describes how chronic shame is wired into the brain and developed in personality, she clarifies complex concepts and makes them available for everyday therapy practice. Grounded in clinical experience and alive with case examples, Understanding and Treating Chronic Shame is highly readable and immediately helpful. Patricia A. DeYoung’s clear, engaging writing helps readers recognize the presence of shame in the therapy room, think through its origins and effects in their clients’ lives, and decide how best to work with those clients. Therapists will find that Understanding and Treating Chronic Shame enhances the scope of their practice and efficacy with this client group, which comprises a large part of most therapy practices. Challenging, enlightening, and nourishing, this book belongs in the library of every shame-aware therapist.

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it Isn't)

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it Isn't)
Author: Brené Brown
Publisher: Avery
Total Pages: 338
Release: 2008
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 1592403352

First published in 2007 with the title: I thought it was just me: women reclaiming power and courage in a culture of shame.

Shame and Pride

Shame and Pride
Author: Donald L. Nathanson
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company
Total Pages: 500
Release: 1994
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 9780393311099

This is a revolutionary book about the nature of emotion, about the way emotions are triggered in our private moments, in our relations with others, and by our biology. Drawing on every theme of the modern life sciences, Dr. Nathanson shows how the nine basic affects--interest-excitement, enjoyment-joy, surprise-startle, fear-terror, distress-anguish, anger-rage, dissmell, disgust, and shame-humiliation--not only determine how we feel but shape our very sense of self. For too long there has been a battle between those who explain emotional discomfort on the basis of lived experience and those who blame chemistry. As Dr. Nathanson shows, chemicals and illnesses can affect our mood just as surely as an uncomfortable memory or a stern rebuke. He presents a completely new understanding of all emotion, providing the first link between the exciting affect theory of Silvan Tomkins and the entire world of biology, medicine, psychology, psychotherapy, religion, and the social sciences. Shame is the least understood of the painful emotions, although it affects every phase of life. We have all been made to feel foolish just at the moment we most wanted to appear wonderful; we have all been rebuffed by those we wished to court. Not one of us looks exactly as we might wish. Shame haunts our every dream of love, and influences how we experience ourselves as sexual beings. We react to shame by withdrawing, by making painful alliances with those who humiliate us, by calling attention to what brings us pride, or by attacking whoever has made us feel inferior. The comedian, as Nathanson shows in his discussion of Buddy Hackett, makes us laugh at what we try to keep hidden, transforming shame intoacceptance and even pride. This book explains everything that can possibly make us proud or ashamed. All are in this book; nobody who reads it will be quite the same again.

Radical Compassion

Radical Compassion
Author: Tara Brach
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 288
Release: 2019-12-31
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 0525522824

One of the most beloved and trusted mindfulness teachers in America offers a lifeline for difficult times: the RAIN meditation, which awakens our courage and heart Tara Brach is an in-the-trenches teacher whose work counters today's ever-increasing onslaught of news, conflict, demands, and anxieties--stresses that leave us rushing around on auto-pilot and cut off from the presence and creativity that give our lives meaning. In this heartfelt and deeply practical book, she offers an antidote: an easy-to-learn four-step meditation that quickly loosens the grip of difficult emotions and limiting beliefs. Each step in the meditation practice (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) is brought to life by memorable stories shared by Tara and her students as they deal with feelings of overwhelm, loss, and self-aversion, with painful relationships, and past trauma--and as they discover step-by-step the sources of love, forgiveness, compassion, and deep wisdom alive within all of us.

Healing the Shame that Binds You

Healing the Shame that Binds You
Author: John Bradshaw
Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.
Total Pages: 338
Release: 2005-10-15
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 0757303234

This classic book, written 17 years ago but still selling more than 13,000 copies every year, has been completely updated and expanded by the author. "I used to drink," writes John Bradshaw,"to solve the problems caused by drinking. The more I drank to relieve my shame-based loneliness and hurt, the more I felt ashamed." Shame is the motivator behind our toxic behaviors: the compulsion, co-dependency, addiction and drive to superachieve that breaks down the family and destroys personal lives. This book has helped millions identify their personal shame, understand the underlying reasons for it, address these root causes and release themselves from the shame that binds them to their past failures.

Understanding and Healing Emotional Trauma

Understanding and Healing Emotional Trauma
Author: Daniela F. Sieff
Publisher: Routledge
Total Pages: 262
Release: 2014-11-27
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 131760072X

Understanding and Healing Emotional Trauma is an interdisciplinary book which explores our current understanding of the forces involved in both the creation and healing of emotional trauma. Through engaging conversations with pioneering clinicians and researchers, Daniela F. Sieff offers accessible yet substantial answers to questions such as: What is emotional trauma? What are the causes? What are its consequences? What does it mean to heal emotional trauma? and How can healing be achieved? These questions are addressed through three interrelated perspectives: psychotherapy, neurobiology and evolution. Psychotherapeutic perspectives take us inside the world of the unconscious mind and body to illuminate how emotional trauma distorts our relationships with ourselves and with other people (Donald Kalsched, Bruce Lloyd, Tina Stromsted, Marion Woodman). Neurobiological perspectives explore how trauma impacts the systems that mediate our emotional lives and well-being (Ellert Nijenhuis, Allan Schore, Daniel Siegel). And evolutionary perspectives contextualise emotional trauma in terms of the legacy we have inherited from our distant ancestors (James Chisholm, Sarah Blaffer Hrdy, Randolph Nesse). Transforming lives affected by emotional trauma is possible, but it can be a difficult process. The insights shared in these lively and informative conversations can support and facilitate that process.This book will therefore be a valuable resource for psychotherapists, psychologists, counsellors and other mental health professionals in practice and training, and also for members of the general public who are endeavouring to find ways through their own emotional trauma. In addition, because emotional trauma often has its roots in childhood, this book will also be of interest and value to parents, teachers and anyone concerned with the care of children.

Shame

Shame
Author: Gershen Kaufman
Publisher: Schenkman Books
Total Pages: 304
Release: 1992
Genre: Psychology
ISBN:

Shame

Shame
Author: Joseph Burgo
Publisher: St. Martin's Essentials
Total Pages: 318
Release: 2018-11-06
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 1250151309

An intimate look at the full spectrum of shame—often masked by addiction, promiscuity, perfectionism, self-loathing, or narcissism—that offers a new, positive route forward Encounters with embarrassment, guilt, self-consciousness, remorse, etc. are an unavoidable part of everyday life, and they sometimes have lessons to teach us—about our goals and values, about the person we expect ourselves to be. In contrast to the prevailing cultural view of shame as a uniformly toxic influence, Shame is a book that approaches the subject of shame as an entire family of emotions which share a “painful awareness of self.” Challenging widely-accepted views within the self-esteem movement, author Joseph Burgo argues that self-esteem does NOT thrive in the soil of non-stop praise and encouragement, but rather depends upon setting and meeting goals, living up to the expectations we hold for ourselves, and finally sharing our joy in achievement with the people who matter most to us. Along the way, listening to and learning from our encounters with shame will go further than affirmations and positive self-talk in helping us to build authentic self-esteem. Richly illustrated with clinical stories from Burgo's 35 years in private practice, Shame also describes the myriad ways that unacknowledged shame often hides behind a broad spectrum of mental disorders including social anxiety, narcissism, addiction, and masochism.

Your Journey to Success: How to Accept the Answers You Discover Along the Way

Your Journey to Success: How to Accept the Answers You Discover Along the Way
Author: Kenny Weiss
Publisher: eBookIt.com
Total Pages: 122
Release: 2017-12-20
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 1456629654

This is a book for the person who is hungry for an answer. I know that feeling. I was stuck in it for years and as a Coach and Speaker, I have noticed there is a constant theme for us all. We have read all of the success books, we have gone to the seminars but when we go to execute their wonderful information a feeling comes up. We lay in bed and just don't "feel" like doing what they suggest even though we know it will make our life better. That "feeling" stops us from executing one or more steps they suggest we take to make our lives better. I couldn't overcome that feeling either. Here I was an alcoholic, a sex addict, sugar addict, spending addict, tobacco addict, love addict, I had gone bankrupt, been through two horrific divorces, a child custody battle, I played two professional sports I never wanted to play and I contemplated suicide. None of the books showed me or explained where that feeling comes from, why we all get it and how to overcome it. Without that information, I couldn't execute all of their wonderful suggestions. So this is my story and how I took all of that great information from all of those great success teachers, I collated it and then added to it. I discuss where that feeling comes from, why we all get it and how to overcome it. This book bridges the gap. When you have this information, this skillset to overcome that "feeling" than you can put into place all of their incredible advice and have the personal and professional success we are all searching for.