Meet Mawdy. Mawdy's one sticky fella. And the star. Of this felonious novella. He likes to steal things. Or so it seems. He's got a degree. In Kleptology. Believe you me. Mawdy's been in The Joint. Two times. And he doesn't want to make it three. That's the hat factory. Where he studiously. Studied. The Big Books. Cutting up. The Big Words. Fun. Da. Men. Tally. With Doler, the old guy. His mentoring mentor. Ever so elementarily. Mawdy hates The Mayor. But he loves the ladies. As all is fair. With the right amount. Of savoir-faire. He's paid his dues. With a hat that's black. And one that's blue. He has some Momma issues. And a few enemies. But most importantly. Mawdy. Our word-proficient. Visionary. Is down for the cause. Con. Se. Quently. Carrying the water. For The Cheese. A strikingly original poetic narrative, Splattery illustrates the timeless story of a person's internal struggle with their place in the world. Mawdy works for The Cheese, the overweight crime boss who runs the eastern section of the city. Being employed by the most powerful man in town has its privileges, but is Mawdy the master of his destiny or just a victim of an inescapable fate?