Scott Spectrum is being haunted by a ghost giraffe named Jim. Scott thinks he’s a man how has everything — a high-speed internet connection, alien-shaped slippers, and a beautiful wife called Continence. But Scott hasn’t touched her in years and she’s been left furiously polishing the sideboard, dreaming of black stallions. According to Jim, Scott’s days are numbered, and to save himself from certain death from sexual repression he must quickly perform every act in the lovermaker’s lexicon. Jim Giraffe knows a lot about sex, luckily. He also loves pizza and beer and has breath that smells of tree-tops. The prudish Scott is at first shocked by this profane, perverted ghost giraffe, but he accepts his help. Little does Scott realize that Jim has his own agenda and that his suburban idyll is about to be well and truly buggered up. Following on from the cult classic Boxy an Star, Daren King has written another extraordinary novel: highly original and linguistically ingenious, naïve and knowing, utterly charming, filthy, and very, very funny.