The Official Guide to Cut-Downs and Comebacks: Words Edition

The Official Guide to Cut-Downs and Comebacks: Words Edition
Author: William Donald Barnwell
Publisher: Bn Publishing
Total Pages: 114
Release: 2016-08-15
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 9781684110575

Have you ever been in a situation where you needed to defend yourself, or others, but just didn't have the right words to do so? Of course, a few hours later, when you replay the situation in your mind, the perfect response comes to you. "If I had only said that I would've been a hero!" Yes, we've all been there, and it's a helpless feeling because you know that the moment has passed for good. For all intents and purposes, you lost. In this book, you'll get a full breakdown of the ways to come right back to those individuals who are attempting to cut you down. You'll discover clever ways to instantly dominate any situation where another person is trying to insult you or your friends. You'll quickly become a master of the craft and be able to call upon these comebacks, or come up with your own using this proven formula, at any time. No more regrets, no more shoulda-coulda-wouldas. No more losing. Consider this comeback system as your compass that allows you to navigate the rough terrain we call social class and order. I wrote this book because you needed support from someone who has been there before. Know that I have a personal stake in this and have tapped back into my own childhood and current everyday life to try and understand both sides of this natural phenomenon. The defenseless need defending. The common person needs armor and weapons when it is their time to attack. You are my inspiration for this. Here's how it works: At the top of the page there will be a cut-down, directly below will be a brief insight into the cut-down, and at the bottom, there will be several different comebacks to the cut-down. The following pages will change your life for the better. The time for lying down is over. The time has come for a shift in power. It's time for a new hero-story to be written. Is it your time? Will you be that hero? It is yours for the taking if you are ready. Are you ready?

Yo' Mama Is So...

Yo' Mama Is So...
Author: Hugh Payne
Publisher: Black Dog & Leventhal
Total Pages: 257
Release: 2011-05-20
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 160376237X

It's everyone's favorite form of insult comedy (as seen on MTV!) -- hundreds of crushingly funny one-liners about "yo' mama" -- and all yo' other relatives -- sure to shut people's mouths or make them howl with laughter. Yo' mama is so fat, when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up. Yo' mama is so old that when she was young, rainbows were black and white. Yo' mama is so fat, she eats Wheat Thicks. Yo' mama is so dumb that when she saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home. Yo' mama's so short you can see her feet on her driver's license. So dumb, so fat, so ugly, and so old have never been SO FUNNY, thanks to this exhaustive and inventive assortment of laugh-out-loud one-line jokes sure to cause a sensation. Hundreds of quotable and easy-to-remember quips have been gathered here by a comedy master, and the result is a relentless collection of wholesome, all-in-good-fun nastiness for every occasion. Divided into handy categories (in case you happen to need a boatload of fat jokes, skinny jokes, or whatever) Yo' Mama Is So . . . is an essential addition to the humor shelf of any self-respecting smart aleck. Hey . . . what did you call my mama??!!

The Giant Book of Insults

The Giant Book of Insults
Author: Louis A. Safian
Publisher: Citadel Press
Total Pages: 420
Release: 2000-12
Genre: American wit and humor
ISBN: 9780806508818

A lively collection of sharp retorts and ripostes, pithy pot, ricocheting bombast - caustic quips, and polite, and the definitely unpolite, sort of put downs. This book can either be read for the sheer fiendish fun of it, or it can be put to work as a sourcebook for anyboday - speakers, entertainers, managers, writers - who wishes to communicate a little more forcefully. Carefully categorised according to targets, this book can be used time and time again to deflate egotists, dispose of bores and demolish dummies.

A Slap in the Face

A Slap in the Face
Author: William B. Irvine
Publisher: Oxford University Press
Total Pages: 260
Release: 2017
Genre: History
ISBN: 0190665041

n A Slap in the Face, William Irvine undertakes a wide-ranging investigation of insults, their history, the role they play in social relationships, and the science behind them. He offers advice, based primarily on the writings of the Stoic philosophers, on how best to curb our own insulting tendencies and how to respond to the insults that are directed our way. A rousing follow-up to The Good Life, A Slap in the Face will interest anyone who's ever delivered an insult or felt the sting of one--in other words, everyone.

The Quotable A**hole

The Quotable A**hole
Author: Eric Grzymkowski
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 256
Release: 2011-09-15
Genre: Reference
ISBN: 1440529078

Whoever said, "sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you" never met an a**hole. Here, you'll find more than 1,200 of the most biting quotes, comments, and comebacks ever uttered, including: "I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence." --George Bernard Shaw "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." --Albert Einstein "If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you." --Muhammed Ali You won't just find quotes from typical a**holes like Winston Churchill, Joseph Stalin, and Mark Twain, either. You'll also see what happens when practically perfect folks like Walt Disney, Mahatma Ghandi, and Audrey Hepburn lose their cool. So embrace your dark side and get ready to enjoy every over-confident, over-blown, over-the-top a**hole comment you'll ever need.

Garfield's Insults, Put-Downs, and Slams

Garfield's Insults, Put-Downs, and Slams
Author: Jim Davis
Publisher: Random House Worlds
Total Pages: 164
Release: 1994-03-02
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 9780345386892

Garfield, the feline master of the ironic aside, puts his paw to the grindstone and lets loose with these gems: good-natured insults, purr-fect put-downs, and deceptively sweet slams. For the young, the old, and the cranky at heart, Garfield knows how you feel sometimes—and he says it, in so many words.

Samuel Johnson's Insults

Samuel Johnson's Insults
Author: Jack Lynch
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA
Total Pages: 128
Release: 2009-05-26
Genre: Literary Criticism
ISBN: 0802719341

Lackbrain, oysterwench, wantwit, clotpoll--Samuel Johnson's famous dictionary of 1755 contained some of the ripest insults in the English language. In Samuel Johnson's Insults, Jack Lynch has compiled more than 300 of the curmudgeonly lexicographer's mightiest barbs, along with definitions only the master himself could elucidate. Word lovers will delight in flexing their linguistic muscles with devilishly descriptive vituperations that pack a wicked punch. Many of these zingers have long lain dormant. Some have even come close to extinction. Now they're back in all their prickly glory, ready to be relished once more.

If You Can't Say Anything Nice, Say It in Yiddish

If You Can't Say Anything Nice, Say It in Yiddish
Author: Lita Epstein
Publisher: Citadel Press
Total Pages: 209
Release: 2018-10-30
Genre: Foreign Language Study
ISBN: 0806538767

You don’t have to be Jewish to get back at the shmendriks* of the world Yiddish. It’s the most colorful language in the history of mankind. What other language gives you a whole dictionary of ways to tell someone to drop dead? That schmuck who got promoted over you? Meigulgl zol er vern in a henglaykhter, by tog zol er hengen, un by nakht zol er brenen. (He should be transformed into a chandelier, to hang by day and to burn by night.) That soccer mom kibitzing on her cell phone and tying up traffic? Shteyner zol zi hobn, nit keyn kinder. (She should have stones and not children.) If You Can’t Say Anything Nice, Say It in Yiddish is the perfect glossary of Yiddish insults and curses, from the short and sweet to the whole megillah (Khasene hobn zol er mit di malekh hamoves tokhter: He should marry the daughter of the Angel of Death.) Complete with hundreds of the most creative insults for the putzes** and kvetchers *** of the world, this is an indispensable guide for Jews and Gentiles alike. When it comes to cursing someone who sorely needs it, may you never be at a loss for words again. *Idiots **More idiots ***Complainer; a pain in the tuchas**** **** One’s rear end

The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition

The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition
Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing Inc.
Total Pages: 193
Release: 2010-10-13
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1616080590

The beloved "Snark Handbook" is back in a new edition--making readers smarterand, more importantly, better than everyone else.

Insulting English

Insulting English
Author: Peter Novobatzky
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Total Pages: 182
Release: 2001-06-09
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1429979003

At last, a compendium of ingeniously insulting words for every occasion. For anyone who's been stymied by the level of sloth, bad looks and low intelligence of his fellow man (and woman), help is on the way. You can't change the tiresome creatures around you, but now you can describe them behind their backs with pleasing specificity. Yes, Insulting English is a user's guide to little-known and much-needed words that include: Gubbertush: Buck-toothed person Hogminny: A depraved young woman Nihilarian: Person with a meaningless job Pursy: Fat and short of breath Scombroid: Resembling a mackerel Tumbrel: A person who is drunk to the point of vomiting These and many other gems from our colorful mother tongue are collected on these pages. Now every gink, knipperdollin, and grizely dunderwhelp can be called by his rightful name.