There are times in life that we just hurt so badly, we think that there is just no way that we will ever get back up. You have literally felt the wrecking ball come in and crash threw your windows, now you are trying to see what lays ahead of you with an obscured vision due to all the brokenness of what used to be clear vision. Then suddenly, every wall that you have chosen to hide behind, possibly even for years is being dismantled. The concrete and mortar of pain and abuse, is crumbling; you feel as if you are that wall- crumbling. Is there anyone that sees the pain you are in? The pain of being dismantled, and the loneliness of feeling like you are the only brick in the wall that is being crushed. I want to talk here realistically about the pain that we suffer, or have suffered and the walls that we sometimes build in our souls. I can use all kinds of "Churchy" talk and find some scriptures that verify in some way what I am saying, but I just want to be simple, but truthful. For if we know the Truth, it is the Truth that sets us free. Where there has been the lie, therein you will find the source of bondage. This is the place that the enemy has a foothold to develop a stronghold. All these insecurities, wounding's, unmet needs and disappointments arise as walls in your life. Childhood wounds are strategic because they lay a foundation of wounding, abuse, pain, betrayal, rejection. Then upon these destructive foundations come up the walls of insecurity, hopelessness, low self-esteem, and so many other possibilities of what could be erected from foundations laid with the concrete of the pain and trauma that you may have endured. The building process is unending, and because of the foundation that has been laid, and the fact that the house style has been established by the afflictions; you continually experience situations that will continue in the building process of the structure that we can relate to as the "HOUSE OF PAIN". Molested, abandoned, abused, rejected, bullied, beaten as a child, and then as a teenager you may have found yourself enduring repeated patterns of devastations; just different construction crews from time to time, that came to assist in the building of your "House of Pain." The one you love and thought you were going to be with forever, to be by your side and help raise your family, you found had more issues than you could deal with. I pray that you come to this place, although painful in itself; that you allow the dismantling and the destruction of this counterfeit foundation and its walls of pain. It can be a painful process because you have to see and revisit the pain, and the wrong foundation that has been laid. The Holy Spirit will be as an inspector and will go into your structure and begin to shine the light on the areas that need to be dismantled, so a rebuilding process can begin. The deeper you allow Him to go in, the more chance He has to get to that foundation where it all began. Then a true rebuilding after dismantling can begin. I have known the sting of abuse, rejection, abandonment. Just as many of you reading this right now, have as well endured. If you have been in Church, you more than likely have been in prayer lines and or healing & deliverance sessions. You may have at times experienced some level of healing and deliverance. But after the anointing lifted, and you were alone; you felt just that still, alone. That void, the emptiness, the pain in your depths; still it remained. The very foundation, the initial wounding yet untouched, remained intact. You may have felt like one wandering in the wilderness, will I ever find my way out? Is there anyone out there that knows or even cares that so many times I thought about ending it all; who would miss me anyway? The foundation of pain, yet does still remain.
