The Misreadbible Book Of Moses
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Author | : J. R. Eldridge |
Publisher | : J. R. Eldridge |
Total Pages | : 351 |
Release | : 2021-01-06 |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : |
Four hundred years after their entry into Egypt, God’s chosen people have managed to get themselves all enslaved. How can the omnipotent creator of the Universe free his people from bondage and deliver them to the promised land? By sending a random shepherd with a speech impediment to repeatedly threaten Pharaoh, that’s how. In this satirical retelling of the biblical books of Exodus to Deuteronomy, the long-suffering Moses leads a tribe of grumbling Israelites through the desert whilst trying to appease a petulant deity who turns smitey at the drop of a hat. Will he ever reach the promised land? Will there be any Israelites left unsmitten by the time he gets there? And what exactly is the Lord’s beef with yeast anyway?
Author | : J. R. Eldridge |
Publisher | : J. R. Eldridge |
Total Pages | : 404 |
Release | : 2022-01-14 |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : |
In first century Galilee, a humble carpenter is given some rather unusual news: he is the Son of God! Leaving his home, family, and carpentry business, Jesus of Nazareth travels to Peraea to learn the ways of the Dunker from his barmy hermit cousin John, who has a penchant for plunging people into water. Returning to Galilee, he calls together a posse of twelve random dudes and begins his father’s mission to preach the Kingdom of God (whatever that means). Along the way, he heals the sick, casts out demons, gives bizarre ranting sermons, and amasses a following. But little does he know that a much bigger destiny awaits him…
Author | : Moisés Silva |
Publisher | : Zondervan |
Total Pages | : 152 |
Release | : 1987 |
Genre | : Bible |
ISBN | : 0310409217 |
With a unique and stimulating perspective on the history of interpretation this book provides a guideline for the use of dictionaries and word studies.
Author | : Steve Wells |
Publisher | : Sab Books |
Total Pages | : 288 |
Release | : 2013-07-16 |
Genre | : Bible |
ISBN | : 9780988245112 |
Completely Revised Second Edition with 23 new killings from the Apocrypha. Drunk With Blood includes a separate account for each of God's 158 killings. These stories fill the pages of the Bible, yet they are seldom read in church and are ignored by most Bible believers, which is a shame because God is so proud of his killings: "I kill ... I wound ... I will make mine arrows drunk with blood and my sword shall devour flesh." Deuteronomy 32:39-42 You've probably hear of a few of God's killings. Noah's Flood, Sodom and Gomorrah, David and Goliath, maybe. But there are over 150 others that are unknown to pretty much everyone, believer and nonbeliever alike. Did you know, for example, that God: *Forced friends and family to kill each other for dancing naked around Aaron's golden calf? *Burned Aaron's sons to death for offering him strange fire? *Burned complainers to death, forced the survivors to eat quail until it literally came out their noses, sent "fiery serpents" to bite people for complaining about the lack of food and water, and killed 14,700 for complaining about his killings? *Buried alive those that opposed Moses (along with their families)? *Burned 250 men to death for burning incense? *Rewarded Phinehas for throwing a spear though the bellies of an inter-tribal couple while they were having sex? *Ordered, assisted in, or approved of dozens of complete genocides? *Accepted human sacrifice in the cases of Jephthah's daughter and Saul's seven sons? *Helped Samson murder thirty men for their clothes, slaughter 1000 with the jawbone of an ass, and kill 3000 civilians in a a suicide terrorist attack? *Smote the Philistines of several cities with hemorrhoids in their secret parts? *Killed a man for trying to keep the ark of the covenant from falling and 50,070 for looking into the ark? *Approved when David bought his first wife with 200 Philistine foreskins? *Killed King Saul for not killing every Amalekite as he told him to do? *Slowly killed a baby to punish King David for committing adultery? *Killed 70,000 because David had a census that he (or Satan) told him to do? *Sent a lion to kill a prophet for believing another prophet's lie, another lion to kill a man for not smiting a prophet, and some more lions to kill people that didn't fear him enough? *Killed 450 religious leaders who lost a prayer contest with Elijah and burned 102 men to death for asking Elijah to come down from his hill? *Sent two bears to rip apart 42 boys for making fun of Elisha's bald head? *Killed 27,000 Syrians by having a wall fall on them, sent an angel to kill 185,000 sleeping soldiers, interfered in human battles to kill a half million Israelite and a million Ethiopian soldiers? *Killed King Ahab for not killing a captured king, and then sent King Jehu on a series of mass murders to kill all of Ahab's family and friends who had ever "pissed against a wall?" *Killed Jehoram by making his bowels fall out? *Killed Job's ten children in a bet with Satan? *Killed Ezekiel's wife and told him not to mourn her? *Killed Ananias and Sapphira for not giving Peter all their money? *Killed King Herod by feeding him to worms? All of these killings, and more, are found in the Bible, and their stories are told in the 2nd Edition of Drunk With Blood.
Author | : R. B. Thieme, Jr. |
Publisher | : R. B. Thieme, Jr., Bible Ministries |
Total Pages | : 177 |
Release | : 2012-01-01 |
Genre | : Religion |
ISBN | : 1557641560 |
The Angelic Conflict rages around us. This is not a world war. This is a war beyond the world—an invisible warfare between the forces of Satan and the forces of God. Ultimately God will win. Long before the advent of human history, Satan arrogantly rebelled against his Creator. He wanted to make himself “like the Most High” and recruited one-third of the angels to follow him. God justly condemned Satan and his fallen angels to spend eternity in the lake of fire. Satan appealed the sentence, claiming unfairness—questioning how a loving God could cast His creatures into hell. Planet Earth is now the battleground where Satan seeks to outmaneuver God, prove the judgment unfair, and foil the execution of his sentence. Satan will not suffer defeat without an intense struggle. God created man to resolve this angelic conflict. Human volition is the focal point of the firestorm. Will man choose God’s grace plan of salvation or follow the arrogant system of Satan? Through the freewill decisions of mankind, God proves to Satan His perfect justice and love again and again. As believers, it is imperative we understand this spiritual warfare that surrounds us. Satan uses every ruse at his command to derail and discredit those who are in Christ. For our defense, God has provided an overwhelming advantage in a powerful suit of spiritual armor. With it we can withstand the “flaming missiles of the evil one” and become heroes in the invisible war. God is glorified as we lock shields and stand firm on His power and Word.
Author | : John Hunt |
Publisher | : John Hunt Publishing |
Total Pages | : 301 |
Release | : 2021-10-29 |
Genre | : Religion |
ISBN | : 1789048117 |
Religion is an essential part of our humanity. We all follow some form of religion, in the original meaning of the word. But organized religion establishes definitions, boundaries and hierarchies which the founders would be amazed by. This is perhaps more true of Christianity than most other religions, due to the short life of Jesus, his sudden death, the lack of any contemporary records. His teaching about the kingdom of God is great; it could see us through our time on earth. But his followers watered it down and soon lost it altogether. It became a kingdom in heaven for the few, rather than one here and now for everyone. The Church, or Churches, that resulted became increasingly irrelevant, even a hindrance, to seeing it realized. Many will always find security and truth in the traditions that developed, and good for them. But for those who can't, for those who have given up on religion or never thought it worth considering, the original teachings are worth another look. If we could recover them and live by them, we could change ourselves and the world for the better. We could bring God up to date.
Author | : Gerald Sigal |
Publisher | : Xlibris Corporation |
Total Pages | : 315 |
Release | : 2007-05-10 |
Genre | : Religion |
ISBN | : 1503581365 |
Who is the servant of Isaiah 52:13-53:12? Answering this question is what this study is all about. Through the centuries countless commentaries have been written, tracts have been distributed, debates have raged over the identification of the servant in this passage. Here we investigate the evidence presented over the last 2000 thousand years for the two leading candidates for this role of servant of the Lord. The two are Jesus and the Jewish people. Christians see in this passage the literal fulfillment by Jesus of all it contains. Jews see it in its plain meaning as a historical overview of Jewish history and the suffering to be endured by the nation of Israel until the final redemption. Source materials used by opposing sides in discussing this passage are thoroughly reviewed. In particular, each verse in the passage is studied in depth. But, the purpose of this volume is not simply to have an intellectual discussion of the issues involved. Its intent is to make it an unavoidable issue for Christians that there are very real disqualifications of Jesus from being the suffering servant and to identify the subject of the servant passage as none other than the nation of Israel. Furthermore, we seek to educate Jews so they do not fall prey to those who would have them believe Jesus is the Messiah.
Author | : King James |
Publisher | : CreateSpace |
Total Pages | : 670 |
Release | : 2014-09-23 |
Genre | : Bibles |
ISBN | : 9781502476104 |
The King James Version (KJV), commonly known as the Authorized Version (AV) or King James Bible (KJB), is an English translation of the Christian Bible for the Church of England begun in 1604 and completed in 1611. First printed by the King's Printer Robert Barker, this was the third translation into English to be approved by the English Church authorities. The first was the Great Bible commissioned in the reign of King Henry VIII, and the second was the Bishops' Bible of 1568. In January 1604, King James I convened the Hampton Court Conference where a new English version was conceived in response to the perceived problems of the earlier translations as detected by the Puritans, a faction within the Church of England. James gave the translators instructions intended to guarantee that the new version would conform to the ecclesiology and reflect the episcopal structure of the Church of England and its belief in an ordained clergy. The translation was done by 47 scholars, all of whom were members of the Church of England. In common with most other translations of the period, the New Testament was translated from Greek, the Old Testament was translated from Hebrew text, while the Apocrypha were translated from the Greek and Latin. In the Book of Common Prayer (1662), the text of the Authorized Version replaced the text of the Great Bible - for Epistle and Gospel readings - and as such was authorized by Act of Parliament. By the first half of the 18th century, the Authorized Version was effectively unchallenged as the English translation used in Anglican and Protestant churches. Over the course of the 18th century, the Authorized Version supplanted the Latin Vulgate as the standard version of scripture for English speaking scholars. Today, the most used edition of the King James Bible, and often identified as plainly the King James Version, especially in the United States, closely follows the standard text of 1769, edited by Benjamin Blayney at Oxford. Editorial Criticism: F. H. A. Scrivener and D. Norton have both written in detail on editorial variations which have occurred through the history of the publishing of the Authorized Version from 1611 to 1769. In the 19th century, there were effectively three main guardians of the text. Norton identified five variations among the Oxford, Cambridge and London (Eyre and Spottiswoode) texts of 1857, such as the spelling of "farther" or "further" at Matthew 26:29. In the 20th century, variations between the editions was reduced to comparing the Cambridge to the Oxford. Distinctly identified Cambridge readings included "or Sheba" (Josh. 19:2), "sin" (2 Chr. 33:19), "clifts" (Job 30:6), "vapour" (Psalm 148:8), "flieth" (Nah. 3:16), "further" (Matt. 26:39) and a number of other references. In effect the Cambridge was considered the current text in comparison to the Oxford. Cambridge University Press introduced a change at 1 John 5:8 in 1985 reverting its longstanding tradition of having the word "spirit" in lower case to have a capital letter "S." It has also done the same in some of its publications in Acts 11:12 and 11:28. These are instances where both Oxford and Cambridge have now altered away from Blayney's 1769 Edition. The distinctions between the Oxford and Cambridge editions has been a major point in the Bible version debate. Differences among Cambridge editions, in the 21st century, has become a potential theological issue, particularly in regard to the identification of the Pure Cambridge Edition. Translation The English terms "rejoice" and "glory" stand for the same word in the Greek original. In Tyndale, Geneva and the Bishops' Bibles, both instances are translated "rejoice." In the Douay-Rheims New Testament, both are translated "glory." Only in the Authorized Version does the translation vary between the two verses. In the Old Testament the translators render the Tetragrammaton YHWH by "the LORD" (in later editions in small capitals as LORD), or "the LORD God"
Author | : Cleland Boyd McAfee |
Publisher | : Double 9 Books |
Total Pages | : 0 |
Release | : 2024-03 |
Genre | : Literary Collections |
ISBN | : 9789361423833 |
"The Greatest English Classic" by Cleland Boyd McAfee is a seminal work of literary criticism that delves into the depths of English literature classics with scholarly precision and insightful analysis. As one of McAfee's notable contributions to the field of literary criticism, this book offers a comprehensive exploration of canonical literature, serving as a guide for readers seeking to understand and appreciate the rich tapestry of British literary heritage. Through a series of thought-provoking essays and literary analysis, McAfee meticulously examines the nuances of English language and literature, shedding light on the enduring significance of literary masterpieces. With a keen eye for detail and a deep appreciation for the written word, McAfee critiques and evaluates the merits of classic literature, offering readers a nuanced understanding of its cultural and literary importance. From Shakespearean dramas to Victorian novels, McAfee's literary canon examinations cover a wide range of genres and periods, providing readers with a thorough understanding of the English literary tradition. This book serves as both a literary appreciation and a study guide, inviting readers to delve into the timeless works of English literature and explore their profound influence on literary genres, traditions, and society as a whole.
Author | : Hella S. Haasse |
Publisher | : Chicago Review Press |
Total Pages | : 256 |
Release | : 2005-08-01 |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : 1613734565 |
In this vivid, dynamic novel, Hella Haasse has once more brought the past to life. This time she has chosen to illuminate a crucial, yet relatively obscure period of history: it is 414 A.D. and the once-powerful Roman Empire is in its death throes—split between East and West, menaced by barbarian hordes almost literally at its gates. The Emperor Honorius, an incompetent weakling, cowers in the marsh-bound city of Ravenna, where he has moved the government; he rarely "makes entry" into Rome. This is the brilliant canvas against which the characters in this drama interact. There is the Prefect Hadrian, a powerful official and fanatical Christian convert; there is Marcus Anicius, the pagan aristocrat who is clinging to a dying past, and there is the Jew Eliezar be Elijah, hemmed in by his own traditions and burdened by his dark vision of the future. There is the intrigue and uncertainty of life at Honorius's court, and there are the streets and tenements of Rome, pulsating with life and with corruption.