My name is Tim Clark, and I'm 46 years old. By today's standard, middle aged I suppose, and being in the middle is something I've grown very used to over all of my years. I was the middle kid in my family, medium-sized, and of average intelligence. By all accounts, by any standard one could measure by, I'm the personification of the average Joe. The short stories in this book are all true and told to the best of my recollection. One hundred percent of the characters were created by God himself and presented here for your enjoyment. My hope is that you enjoy reading them but not because of the things that have happened to me, but that they may help you recall the stories of your own life and that you'll come to the same conclusion that I have. If your looking for something truly extraordinary in your life, keep in mind that the bathroom mirror is only a few steps away and keep in mind also that you'd look silly with a shaved head and a tattoo. Give this book a read and have a few laughs at my expense. I promise I won't get mad.