The Blacker the Robot the Moister the Oyster

The Blacker the Robot the Moister the Oyster
Author: Lacey Noonan
Publisher:
Total Pages: 98
Release: 2017-02-22
Genre:
ISBN: 9781543263169

The riveting saga continues! Holly wakes up in a dirt person motel in the middle of nowhere with her runaway Obamacare Sex Robot, half-naked, sweaty with bliss. The night before she'd taken it to new levels. But now she has serious misgivings. She thought she was doing the right thing by stealing the robot away from her criminally sex-crazed husband Bradley, but now the entire country is after her with pitchforks 'n tazers. The police are after her. The army is after her. The Obamacare Death Panels are after her. Fatass Bethany is after her with her weird, fluffy albino pimp friend. Things really heat up when Holly and her Bama-Bot 2000 take a cool, relaxing swim in a high-risk pool in the woods. Soon the water is boiling around them with pleasure and a love that daresn't speak its name. (I'm talking what happens when bodies start slapping, people.) And then things heat up even hotter than that when the Death Panel Goons surround Holly and her new electronic lover, threatening everything just when she's decided her life is finally back on track. In the waning days of the Obama administration, things are really heating up for young female, woman, girl-conservative Holly McQuerty and her runaway pleasure robot that looks suspiciously like our 44th president, and if she's not careful, she just may get woke something fierce in the process. And that goes for you too, Sissy McSnowflake. Trigger warning: Doppelg�nger fingerbangers.

I Don't Care If My Best Friend's Mom Is a Sasquatch, She's Hot and I'm Taking a Shower With Her

I Don't Care If My Best Friend's Mom Is a Sasquatch, She's Hot and I'm Taking a Shower With Her
Author: Lacey Noonan
Publisher: The Dishes Are Done, Man!
Total Pages: 64
Release: 2014-11-07
Genre: Fiction
ISBN:

Life for Jason is one wild experience after another. But then one night he has a chance encounter with a person he thought was but a distant memory. The meeting dredges up a long-forgotten mystery, and suddenly he is trapped on a roller coaster of mystery, danger and wildness—more wildness than he ever knew existed! Now he is on the run with his star-crossed lover. Will they reach a shower in time, or will the natural heat that burns within her consume them both? Will his beautiful, bestial, furry lover tear him to pieces with her giant claws in a lusty rage? Or will she tenderly lather him up, rinse and clean his naked, muscular and strong (for a human) body with scented soaps in a ritual of her people going back thousands of generations in a shower appropriately large enough to fit him and the mysterious, yet tender and svelte creature together? Find out the answers to these questions only in this seriously wild, hot and bothered new novella from writer Lacey Noonan.

Young House Love

Young House Love
Author: Sherry Petersik
Publisher: Artisan
Total Pages: 337
Release: 2015-07-14
Genre: House & Home
ISBN: 1579656765

This New York Times bestselling book is filled with hundreds of fun, deceptively simple, budget-friendly ideas for sprucing up your home. With two home renovations under their (tool) belts and millions of hits per month on their blog YoungHouseLove.com, Sherry and John Petersik are home-improvement enthusiasts primed to pass on a slew of projects, tricks, and techniques to do-it-yourselfers of all levels. Packed with 243 tips and ideas—both classic and unexpected—and more than 400 photographs and illustrations, this is a book that readers will return to again and again for the creative projects and easy-to-follow instructions in the relatable voice the Petersiks are known for. Learn to trick out a thrift-store mirror, spice up plain old roller shades, "hack" your Ikea table to create three distinct looks, and so much more.

Dark Desires

Dark Desires
Author: Lacey Noonan
Publisher: The Dishes Are Done, Man!
Total Pages: 69
Release: 2016-10-24
Genre: Fiction
ISBN:

What has the world come to? Like many hardworking Americans, Holly and Brad McQuerty's lives have become living nightmares under President Obama's reign: high taxes, the housing crisis he’d caused thanks to the welfare state, gay weddings, the fiascos in Iraq and Benghazi, ISIS, NAFTA, all that climate change mumbo-jumbo, and worst of all: Obamacare—aka The Affordable Care Act—with its Death Panels, enforced premiums and Sex Robots. That's right: OBAMACARE SEX ROBOTS... Sexy cyborgs made by the government to "help" people in times of "need." But do they really help us, or are they here to tear the fabric of America apart boner by aching boner, nipple by tweaked nipple, butt by savaged butt? Holly and Brad are young conservatives and want no part of this bold new future. But one fateful day, Holly catches her husband getting hot and sweaty with one of the devices and soon their lives are changed forever. In a tizzy, Holly runs away with the robot and is chased by everyone: her husband, the police, shady government officials. There seems to be something else going on too, besides one woman and one Kenyan-American robot, on the lam, discovering their bodies and themselves, satiating their dark desires in SUV's and hotel rooms across Connecticut. Big things are happening—history is happening—a history someone or something doesn't want Holly to find out about. In the waning days of the Obama Administration, events are starting to take a dark turn. How deep does the rabbit hole go? How deep does the sheep hole go? Find out the sheep hole's deepness in this seriously hot, dark and sexy new series of thrillers from author Lacey Noonan: "My Obamacare Nightmare," available in ebook and paperback. Trigger Warning: Doppleganger Fingerbangers

Let's Spend the Night Together

Let's Spend the Night Together
Author: Pamela Des Barres
Publisher: Chicago Review Press
Total Pages: 499
Release: 2008-09
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 1556529791

Presents biographies of twenty-four rock groupies in their own words, including Tura Satana, Miss Mercy, Cynthia Plaster Caster, and Miss B.

Difficult Loves

Difficult Loves
Author: Italo Calvino
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Total Pages: 304
Release: 1984
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 9780156260558

In a collection of stories written during the 1940s and 1950s, the author captures moments of revelation in the lives of ordinary people, instants blending recognition and alarm as deceptions and illusions are laid bare.

Buyology

Buyology
Author: Martin Lindstrom
Publisher: Currency
Total Pages: 274
Release: 2010-02-02
Genre: Business & Economics
ISBN: 0385523890

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “A fascinating look at how consumers perceive logos, ads, commercials, brands, and products.”—Time How much do we know about why we buy? What truly influences our decisions in today’s message-cluttered world? In Buyology, Martin Lindstrom presents the astonishing findings from his groundbreaking three-year, seven-million-dollar neuromarketing study—a cutting-edge experiment that peered inside the brains of 2,000 volunteers from all around the world as they encountered various ads, logos, commercials, brands, and products. His startling results shatter much of what we have long believed about what captures our interest—and drives us to buy. Among the questions he explores: • Does sex actually sell? • Does subliminal advertising still surround us? • Can “cool” brands trigger our mating instincts? • Can our other senses—smell, touch, and sound—be aroused when we see a product? Buyology is a fascinating and shocking journey into the mind of today's consumer that will captivate anyone who's been seduced—or turned off—by marketers' relentless attempts to win our loyalty, our money, and our minds.

The Storyteller's Thesaurus

The Storyteller's Thesaurus
Author: Troll Lord Games
Publisher: Troll Lord Games
Total Pages: 551
Release: 2015-04-30
Genre: Reference
ISBN: 9781936822355

Writers, game designers, teachers, and students ~this is the book youve been waiting for! Written by storytellers for storytellers, this volume offers an entirely new approach to word finding. Browse the pages within to see what makes this book different:

The 1619 Project

The 1619 Project
Author: Nikole Hannah-Jones
Publisher: One World
Total Pages: 625
Release: 2024-06-04
Genre: History
ISBN: 0593230590

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • NAACP IMAGE AWARD WINNER • A dramatic expansion of a groundbreaking work of journalism, The 1619 Project: A New Origin Story offers a profoundly revealing vision of the American past and present. “[A] groundbreaking compendium . . . bracing and urgent . . . This collection is an extraordinary update to an ongoing project of vital truth-telling.”—Esquire NOW AN EMMY-NOMINATED HULU ORIGINAL DOCUSERIES • FINALIST FOR THE KIRKUS PRIZE • ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: The Washington Post, NPR, Esquire, Marie Claire, Electric Lit, Ms. magazine, Kirkus Reviews, Booklist In late August 1619, a ship arrived in the British colony of Virginia bearing a cargo of twenty to thirty enslaved people from Africa. Their arrival led to the barbaric and unprecedented system of American chattel slavery that would last for the next 250 years. This is sometimes referred to as the country’s original sin, but it is more than that: It is the source of so much that still defines the United States. The New York Times Magazine’s award-winning 1619 Project issue reframed our understanding of American history by placing slavery and its continuing legacy at the center of our national narrative. This book substantially expands on that work, weaving together eighteen essays that explore the legacy of slavery in present-day America with thirty-six poems and works of fiction that illuminate key moments of oppression, struggle, and resistance. The essays show how the inheritance of 1619 reaches into every part of contemporary American society, from politics, music, diet, traffic, and citizenship to capitalism, religion, and our democracy itself. This book that speaks directly to our current moment, contextualizing the systems of race and caste within which we operate today. It reveals long-glossed-over truths around our nation’s founding and construction—and the way that the legacy of slavery did not end with emancipation, but continues to shape contemporary American life. Featuring contributions from: Leslie Alexander • Michelle Alexander • Carol Anderson • Joshua Bennett • Reginald Dwayne Betts • Jamelle Bouie • Anthea Butler • Matthew Desmond • Rita Dove • Camille T. Dungy • Cornelius Eady • Eve L. Ewing • Nikky Finney • Vievee Francis • Yaa Gyasi • Forrest Hamer • Terrance Hayes • Kimberly Annece Henderson • Jeneen Interlandi • Honorée Fanonne Jeffers • Barry Jenkins • Tyehimba Jess • Martha S. Jones • Robert Jones, Jr. • A. Van Jordan • Ibram X. Kendi • Eddie Kendricks • Yusef Komunyakaa • Kevin M. Kruse • Kiese Laymon • Trymaine Lee • Jasmine Mans • Terry McMillan • Tiya Miles • Wesley Morris • Khalil Gibran Muhammad • Lynn Nottage • ZZ Packer • Gregory Pardlo • Darryl Pinckney • Claudia Rankine • Jason Reynolds • Dorothy Roberts • Sonia Sanchez • Tim Seibles • Evie Shockley • Clint Smith • Danez Smith • Patricia Smith • Tracy K. Smith • Bryan Stevenson • Nafissa Thompson-Spires • Natasha Trethewey • Linda Villarosa • Jesmyn Ward

City of Iron and Dust

City of Iron and Dust
Author: J.P. Oakes
Publisher: Titan Books (US, CA)
Total Pages: 400
Release: 2021-07-06
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1789097118

Fast-paced and razor-sharp dark fantasy for readers of Nicholas Eames, Anna Smith Spark and Robert Jackson Bennett "A fantastic book, full of wit and sharp humor, City of Iron and Dust careens through a modernized faerie at a breakneck pace, full of verve and unforgettable characters. Oakes spins a smart, electric, and sometimes snarky tale, showing that the beating heart of modern fantasy is alive and well." – John Hornor Jacobs, author of A Lush and Seething Hell and The Incorruptibles The Iron City is a prison, a maze, an industrial blight. It is the result of a war that saw the goblins grind the fae beneath their collective boot heels. And tonight, it is also a city that churns with life. Tonight, a young fae is trying to make his fortune one drug deal at a time; a goblin princess is searching for a path between her own dreams and others’ expectations; her bodyguard is deciding who to kill first; an artist is hunting for his own voice; an old soldier is starting a new revolution; a young rebel is finding fresh ways to fight; and an old goblin is dreaming of reclaiming her power over them all. Tonight, all their stories are twisting together, wrapped up around a single bag of Dust—the only drug that can still fuel fae magic—and its fate and theirs will change the Iron City forever.