Snarky in the Suburbs

Snarky in the Suburbs
Author: Snarky N. Burbs
Publisher:
Total Pages: 212
Release: 2012-12-11
Genre: Middle-aged women
ISBN: 9780615741963

The Spring Creek Elementary School PTA Board, a coven of Mean Moms dressed in Uggs, yoga pants, and dermal filler, is up to no good, and Wynn Butler (middle-aged, uncool and not bringing sexy back) is determined to find out what's going on. With help from her two kids, a Roomba vacuum turned mobile surveillance drone, and a few close friends, Wynn launches a covert investigation that leads to the mother of all revenge capers at the school's annual Fall Festival. If you've ever fantasized about smoke bombing the idiot parent who has yet to master the fine art of the school drop-off lane or standing up and shouting "Liar, liar Botox on fire!" during a PTA meeting, then this delicious tale of payback is for you. Based on the popular blog, Snarky in the Suburbs, that was recently optioned by ABC for film and television rights.

Snarky in the Suburbs Trouble in Texas

Snarky in the Suburbs Trouble in Texas
Author: Sherry Claypool Kuehl
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2015-01-12
Genre: Middle-aged women
ISBN: 9781507531518

Wynn Butler is ready to kill her mother . . . or at the very least demand she gets a psych evaluation and an MRI. On Wynn's yearly pilgrimage to Trask, Texas, to visit her parents what she hoped would be a relaxing visit (not counting the family reunion which has all the charm of a zombie apocalypse) has turned into a Texas-sized, hot mess! Her 69-year-old mother Gwynn Crockett Martin has become an entrepreneur and opened up a cupcake bakery that seems to be doing double duty as a halfway house for economically battered Junior League dropouts. If that's not enough to make Wynn want to turn tail and run home, her mom is hell bent on convincing her to "heed the call of Jesus" and come to the aid of a woman that made Wynn miserable in high school - Sara Beth Bishop. And by aid, Wynn's mother means concoct a plan to exact epic revenge on Sara Beth's lying, cheating, spray tanning, money stealing ex-husband and his new wife, snob-of-the-millennium, Yale Greenly. Things go from bad to worse when Wynn finds herself embroiled in a scheme that involves breaking and entering, theft, assault, livestock wrangling, killer mold, impersonating a maid, hair spray bomb fabrication and crashing the town's poshest society event of the year - THE Mohair Palace Pageant. If Wynn can survive this visit home without doing time in the ER, jail, or both, it will be a miracle! Hang on to your hat and saddle up for a retribution rodeo or, as Wynn's mom calls it . . . "justice served up Lone Star style."

When Life Gives You Lululemons

When Life Gives You Lululemons
Author: Lauren Weisberger
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Total Pages: 352
Release: 2019-05-07
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1476778450

“The Devil Wears Prada’s Emily Charlton gets the spin-off she deserves” (Cosmopolitan) in the months-long New York Times bestseller from Lauren Weisberger in which three women team up to bring a bad man down in the tony suburb of Greenwich, Connecticut. Welcome to Greenwich, Connecticut, where the lawns and the women are perfectly manicured, the Tito’s and sodas are extra strong, and everyone has something to say about the infamous new neighbor. Let’s be clear: Emily Charlton does not do the suburbs. After leaving Miranda Priestly, she’s been working in Hollywood as an image consultant to the stars, but recently, Emily’s lost a few clients. She’s hopeless with social media. The new guard is nipping at her heels. She needs a big opportunity, and she needs it now. When Karolina Hartwell, a gorgeous former supermodel, is arrested, her fall from grace is merciless. Her senator-husband leaves her, her Beltway friends disappear, and the tabloids pounce. In Karolina, Emily finds her comeback opportunity. But she quickly learns Greenwich is a world apart and that this comeback needs a team approach. So it is that Emily, the scorned Karolina, and their mutual friend Miriam, a powerful attorney turned stay-at-home mom, band together to navigate the social land mines of suburban Greenwich and win back the hearts of the American public. Along the way, an unexpected ally emerges in one Miranda Priestly. With her signature wit, Lauren Weisberger offers an alluring look into a sexy, over-the-top world—and proves it’s style and substance together that gets the job done. “A delicious sequel to The Devil Wears Prada…exploring what it’s like to be a woman buffeted by conflicting messages about career, relationships, and motherhood” (The Washington Post), When Life Gives You Lululemons is “amazing novel about…truth, lies and how everyone is a little bit insecure” (Associated Press). “Fast-paced, funny, and gossipy, this is the must-have accessory for your beach bag” (PopSugar).

The Lost Continent

The Lost Continent
Author: Bill Bryson
Publisher: VNR AG
Total Pages: 326
Release: 1989
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 9780060161583

"I come from Des Moines. Somebody had to." And, as soon as Bill Bryson was old enough, he left. Des Moines couldn't hold him, but it did lure him back. After ten years in England he returned to the land of his youth, and drove almost 14,000 miles in search of a mythical small town called Amalgam, the kind of smiling village where the movies from his youth were set. Instead he drove through a series of horrific burgs, which he renamed Smellville, Fartville, Coleslaw, Coma, and Doldrum. At best his search led him to Anywhere, USA, a lookalike strip of gas stations, motels and hamburger outlets populated by obese and slow-witted hicks with a partiality for synthetic fibres. He discovered a continent that was doubly lost: lost to itself because he found it blighted by greed, pollution, mobile homes and television; lost to him because he had become a foreigner in his own country.

The Adults

The Adults
Author: Alison Espach
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 322
Release: 2011-02-01
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1439191875

From the author of the Read with Jenna Today show book club pick The Wedding People, a ruefully funny and wickedly perceptive debut novel that deftly dissects matters of the heart and captures the lives of children and adults as they come to terms with life, death, and love. At the center of this affluent suburban universe is Emily Vidal, a smart and snarky teenager, who gets involved in a dangerous relationship. Among the cast of unforgettable characters is Emily’s father, whose fiftieth birthday party has the adults descending upon the Vidals' patio; her mother, who has orchestrated the elaborate party even though she and her husband are getting a divorce; and an assortment of eccentric neighbors, high school teachers, and teenagers who teem with anxiety and sexuality and an unbridled desire to be noticed, and ultimately loved. An irresistible chronicle of a modern young woman’s struggle to grow up, The Adults lays bare—in perfect pitch—a world where an adult and a child can so dangerously be mistaken for the same exact thing.

Grounded for All Eternity

Grounded for All Eternity
Author: Darcy Marks
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 400
Release: 2022-07-26
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 1534483381

A group of kids from hell come to Earth on one of the craziest nights of the year—Halloween—in this “entertaining, high-octane” (Kirkus Reviews) middle grade adventure about teamwork, friendship, shattering expectations, and understanding the world (or otherworld) around us. Malachi and his friends are just your regular average kids from hell. The suburbs that is, not the fiery pit part. But when Hell’s Bells ring out—signaling that a soul has escaped from one of the eternal circles, Mal and his friends can’t help but take the opportunity for a little adventure. Before they know it, they’ve somehow slipped through the veil and found themselves in the middle of Salem, Massachusetts, on Halloween night. And what’s even worse, they’ve managed to bring the escaped soul with them! As the essence of one of history’s greatest manipulators gains power by shifting the balance on Earth, Mal and his squad-mates—along with some new friends that they meet along the way—work desperately to trap the escapee, save the people of Earth from the forces of evil, and find the portal back to their own dimension. If they can’t manage it before their parents realize they’re gone, they’ll be grounded for an eternity. And an eternity in hell is a very, very long time.

Every Other Weekend

Every Other Weekend
Author: Abigail Johnson
Publisher: Harlequin
Total Pages: 506
Release: 2020-01-07
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
ISBN: 1488056552

“Two teenagers from broken families find solace in one another’s company” in this “heart-wrenching and hopeful” YA romance novel (Kirkus Reviews). When Adam Moynihan’s oldest brother died, his life fell apart around him. Now his mom cries constantly, he and his remaining brother can’t talk without fighting, and the father he always admired moved out when they needed him most. Jolene Timber is used to being a pawn in her divorced parents’ war. But when she develops an unlikely friendship with a boy who spends every other weekend in the same apartment building that she does, suddenly the future seems less bleak. Can the boy who thinks forgiveness makes him weak and the girl who thinks love is for fools find something real together? They’ll find out . . . every other weekend.

Bitter is the New Black

Bitter is the New Black
Author: Jen Lancaster
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 418
Release: 2006-03-07
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 1101128402

New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster takes you from sorority house to penthouse to poorhouse in her hilarious memoir of living the sweet life—until real life kicked her to the curb. She had the perfect man, the perfect job—hell, she had the perfect life—and there was no reason to think it wouldn't last. Or maybe there was, but Jen Lancaster was too busy being manicured, pedicured, highlighted, and generally adored to notice. This is the smart-mouthed, soul-searching story of a woman trying to figure out what happens next when she's gone from six figures to unemployment checks and she stops to reconsider some of the less-than-rosy attitudes and values she thought she'd never have to answer for when times were good. Filled with caustic wit and unusual insight, it's a rollicking read as speedy and unpredictable as the trajectory of a burst balloon.

Guilty Pleasures

Guilty Pleasures
Author: Laurell K. Hamilton
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 405
Release: 2002-09-24
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1101146389

Meet Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, in the first novel in the #1 New York Times bestselling series that “blends the genres of romance, horror and adventure with stunning panache”(Diana Gabaldon). Laurell K. Hamilton’s bestselling series has captured readers’ wildest imaginations and addicted them to a seductive world where supernatural hungers collide with the desires of the human heart, starring a heroine like no other... Anita Blake is small, dark, and dangerous. Her turf is the city of St. Louis. Her job: re-animating the dead and killing the undead who take things too far. But when the city’s most powerful vampire asks her to solve a series of vicious slayings, Anita must confront her greatest fear—her undeniable attraction to master vampire Jean-Claude, one of the creatures she is sworn to destroy... “What The Da Vinci Code did for the religious thriller, the Anita Blake series has done for the vampire novel.”—USA Today

A Drop of Night

A Drop of Night
Author: Stefan Bachmann
Publisher: HarperCollins
Total Pages: 238
Release: 2016-03-15
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
ISBN: 0062289942

Modern-day teenagers meet a palace of terrors locked up since the French Revolution in this surprising and haunting thriller from Stefan Bachmann, the internationally bestselling author of The Peculiar and The Whatnot. A Drop of Night will thrill fans of Neal Shusterman and Jessica Khoury. Seventeen-year-old Anouk has finally caught the break she’s been looking for—she’s been chosen to participate in an exclusive program that includes an all-expense-paid trip to France and a chance to explore the hidden underground Palais des Papillons, or Palace of Butterflies. Along with four other gifted teenagers, Anouk will be one of the first people to set foot in the palace in more than two hundred years. Bachmann’s masterful scene-building alternates between Anouk’s flight through the palace and the struggles of Aurelie, who escaped the French Revolution by fleeing into the Palais des Papillons in 1792.