As I write this book. I have so much to write about, I just never had the time to break the dam and let the river overfl ow . . . Fearful that the initial rush may over whelm me, so much has happen over the last 12years . . . So many open wound screaming for the bandaid of expression bleeding for so many years . . . . I'm afraid . . . Afraid to revisit each wound yet knowing I must in order to soothe each one. But they really really hurts so bad, I rather just ignore them and smile . . . nobody will notice the blood, pain n tears seeping from my pores, I am a pretender,an actress. But in order to share my gift to the world for the fi rst time, I must revisit my pass and write. Because no matter how much I bury these wounds are really real. just a thought I always wonder where I would be today if I didn't guide myself in the right direction. 1. Maybe on somebody street corner being somebody's hoe? 2.maybe if I had to live on the streets would I be somebody's bum? 3.maybe if I had to depend on somebody on all accounts? 4.would I have the meaning to go steal for a living? Meaning that going to the store stealing clothes or what ever it takes. out of all the four things! I think I would choose none of thee above I think what ever comes your way when you live the life experience that me and most others you learn to survive the rainy storm that comes your way, I sit back and think sometimes if not all the time why me?why did I have to be born because without life there is no sorrow. Meaning that if I wasn't created you would feel no pain,or have to live your life of losing your queen,your soul your heart.,it just seems that the pain never goes away. I don't care if you have open heart surgery that pain just tempoary it heels but not when you lose someone that you looked up to for love, guidence, corrections. pain, pain, pain