Santa Steps Out

Santa Steps Out
Author: Robert Devereaux
Publisher: Deadite Press
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2011-11
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 9781621050131

Sex, Death, and Santa Claus ... His generosity is legendary. He has a devoted wife, a crack team of sky-borne reindeer, hordes of industrious elves, and the love of good little boys and girls around the globe. But what unholy desires now propel him into the lascivious clutches of a certain fairy? And who was he before the sleigh and workshop, in times forgotten? ... She munches on molars, summons drowned sailors to her pleasure, and recalls, sharp as a pinprick, her life as the most savage of ash nymphs. Why then is she stuck, night after night, hovering above pillows to leave coins for gap-toothed brats? More important, how quickly can she captivate the jolly old elf to the north? ... He's huge, fluffy, lonesome, and unbearably horny. On his Easter rounds, he contrives, as often as possible, to get a grip on himself and peer into interesting bedrooms. But who in the world will throw him down and ravage him as the lovers under his gaze ravage one another? ... Deadite Press is proud to bring back the ultimate erotic Christmas story from Robert Devereaux

Are You Grumpy, Santa?

Are You Grumpy, Santa?
Author: Gregg Spiridellis
Publisher: Hyperion Books for Children
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2008-09-16
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 9781423114994

Sometimes even the merriest, most cheerful guy on the planet wakes up on the wrong side of the bed… First, after a restless night due to Mrs. Claus's snoring, Santa awakes on Christmas morning and stubs his toe. Then the elves shrink his suit, his sleigh gets buried in a snowdrift, and he gets stuck in a chimney. Santa’s had just about enough! But just in the nick of time, he discovers a very special gift of milk and cookies waiting for him. As he munches on the delicious snack, Santa's remembers what Christmas is all about—the gift of love—and, merrily, his grumpies melt away. Now available as a board book, this merrily irreverent Yuletide story, brought to life by Gregg and Evan Spiridellis, will tickle funny bones and touch hearts far and wide.

Santa Claus Conquers the Homophobes

Santa Claus Conquers the Homophobes
Author: Robert Devereaux
Publisher: Booklocker.Com Incorporated
Total Pages: 361
Release: 2008-08-01
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 9781601455383

Santa Claus and his stepdaughter Wendy strive to remake the world in compassion and generosity, preventing one child's fated suicide by winning over his worst tormentors, then attempting, with the Easter Bunny's help, to eradicate homophobia worldwide in one magical night.

Santa Claus Doesn't Mop Floors (Adventures of the Bailey School Kids #3)

Santa Claus Doesn't Mop Floors (Adventures of the Bailey School Kids #3)
Author: Debbie Dadey
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
Total Pages: 61
Release: 2021-12-07
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 1338829157

The hugely popular early chapter book series re-emerges -- now in e-book! The kids in the third grade at Bailey Elementary are so hard to handle that all of their teachers have quit. But their new teacher, Mrs. Jeepers, is different to say the least. She's just moved from the Transylvanian Alps and she seems to have some strange powers that help her deal with these mischief-makers. Her methods may be a little unconventional, but, then again, Mrs. Jeepers may be just what the Bailey School kids need.

Santa Claus Saves the World

Santa Claus Saves the World
Author: Robert Devereaux
Publisher: Deadite Press
Total Pages: 176
Release: 2013-12-01
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 9781621051305

It's that time of year again - when Santa Claus has to save the world! After conquering the homophobes, Santa Claus believes that humans can finally be nice instead of naughty. But dark forces from across history and mythology have other plans. One couple and their disintegrating marriage may just cause a chain reaction that will plunge the world into darkness and terror. So Santa and his pals begin an adventure from the North Pole to the Heaven and Hades to save the soul of humanity. Robert Devereaux returns once again to the Santa Mythos that made him an underground horror fan favorite. The sequel to "Santa Steps Out" and "Santa Claus Conquers the Homophobes" combines pagan gods with holiday cheer and a large dose of sex and violence. "Santa Claus Saves the World" is a present for sickos of all-ages!

The Santa Suit

The Santa Suit
Author: Mary Kay Andrews
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Total Pages: 147
Release: 2021-09-28
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1250279321

From Mary Kay Andrews, the New York Times bestselling author of Hello, Summer, comes a novella celebrating the magic of Christmas and second chances in The Santa Suit. When newly-divorced Ivy Perkins buys an old farmhouse sight unseen, she is definitely looking for a change in her life. The Four Roses, as the farmhouse is called, is a labor of love—but Ivy didn't bargain on just how much labor. The previous family left so much furniture and so much junk, that it's a full-time job sorting through all of it. At the top of a closet, Ivy finds an old Santa suit—beautifully made and decades old. In the pocket of a suit she finds a note written in a childish hand: it's from a little girl who has one Christmas wish, and that is for her father to return home from the war. This discovery sets Ivy off on a mission. Who wrote the note? Did the man ever come home? What mysteries did the Rose family hold? Ivy's quest brings her into the community, at a time when all she wanted to do was be left alone and nurse her wounds. But the magic of Christmas makes miracles happen, and Ivy just might find more than she ever thought possible: a welcoming town, a family reunited, a mystery solved, and a second chance at love.

How to Catch Santa

How to Catch Santa
Author: Jean Reagan
Publisher: Knopf Books for Young Readers
Total Pages: 26
Release: 2018-09-11
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 0525579915

A #1 New York Times bestseller and Christmas must-read from the creators of the laugh-out-loud bestsellers How to Babysit a Grandpa and How to Babysit a Grandma! After waiting for days and days and days, it’s finally Christmas Eve. And that’s when you can try to catch Santa.... Two sibling narrators give clever tips for “catching” Santa (be crafty! be clever! be gentle!) on Christmas Eve in this delightful and hilarious holiday offering, written in a fun instructional style. Filled with humor and warmth, this is a jolly read-aloud for the whole family to enjoy! And don't miss Jean Reagan and Lee Wildish's How to Raise a Mom and How to Surprise a Dad! “A new hit this year is How to Catch Santa. . . . The picture book offers lighthearted tips on how kids can steal a glimpse of Mr. Elusive, aka Santa. . . .” —USA Today

When Santa Learned the Gospel

When Santa Learned the Gospel
Author: Simon Camilleri
Publisher:
Total Pages:
Release: 2017-07-22
Genre:
ISBN: 9780995417601

An original Christmas fable about when Santa first learns about Jesus' message of grace.Unexpectedly, Santa finds himself on a his own spiritual and philosophical journey full of humour, self-reflection, wonder and redemption.Complemented by the beautiful and engaging illustrations of Matt Boutros, this book hopes to inspire many a conversation about faith, philosophy and the messages of Christmas, between adults and children alike.

Dear Santa, Please Come to the 19th Floor

Dear Santa, Please Come to the 19th Floor
Author: Yin
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 44
Release: 2011-09-29
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 1101650303

Willy wants to cheer his best friend, Carlos, up. And what better way to do so than a Christmas visit from Santa Claus himself? But when Santa answers Willy's e-mail pleading with him to visit the 19th floor of their inner-city apartment building, he doesn't quite know what is in store for him. Yin and Chris Soentpiet, the author-illustrator pair who created the ALA notable Coolies, bring us a heartwarming and modern Christmas story with the lush illustrations that Soentpiet fans have come to love.

Secret Agent Santa

Secret Agent Santa
Author: Carol Ericson
Publisher: Harlequin
Total Pages: 221
Release: 2015-11-01
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1460388313

Christmas was supposed to be about joy and hope…not about thwarting terrorist plots Most covert agents weren't blessed with long careers. Mike Becker wasn't like most agents. On the cusp of early retirement, he's given one final assignment: babysit a single mother with a reputation for coming up with conspiracy theories. Except the bullets flying Claire Chadwick's way can't be dismissed. Now Mike will do anything to protect her and her son, and uncover the truth. A truth that places them at the center of a terrorist attack on Christmas Day. Mike's career may be coming to a blazing finish, but in this woman he finally has a shot at the redemption that's eluded him for so long.