Even though I grew up in church, I was consistently struggling with my selfish desires. A man was supposed to be macho, big, and strong. Crying shows weakness, and to show weakness makes you vulnerable. So I began to put up walls in my life. Despite all the guilt and shame I felt and because of sin in my life, I discovered early that what others didn't know didn't hurt them. It was safer if I keep my life a secret. Secret desires, confusion, and the constant struggle led to a life of addictions. As men, it's hard for us to open up about our feelings and our personal battles whether it be physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual. I learned from my own experiences that freedom comes in the ability to share. Maybe we don't realize the damage that's done unintentionally both to ourselves and those close to us. But somehow, it's there, maybe it's subconsciously but it's there. And it affects our lives and every other life we come in contact with. More specifically, our wife, our children, and how we treat them. Maybe, just maybe, if we as men will step up and make a conscious decision to be more Christ-like and to fill the position God designed for men. We will become better men, better husbands, better fathers, and more Christ-like men if we can build trust with our brothers, in the sharing of our issues, our battles. Do we understand how much it can mean to someone, for them to know and understand they're not alone? To be able to share in confidence knowing that they won't be judged. Knowing what you share goes no further. Others have had to deal with the same types of issues in their lives. This is my life and the ugly buck naked truth on how I struggled through to the point of complete surrender to Jesus Christ! Finally having the ability to live a victorious Christian life.