Never Do Anything, Ever (Dear Dumb Diary #4)

Never Do Anything, Ever (Dear Dumb Diary #4)
Author: Jim Benton
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
Total Pages: 153
Release: 2013-08-27
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 0545649455

Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true...or at least as true as it needs to be.Her best friend's a backstabber. Her worst enemy is a sweetheart. And her dog is just waiting for the right moment to seek his revenge. Why should Jamie even bother going to school? Why not? After a run-in with Mega-Popular Angeline, aka Pure Evil, Jamie reforms her selfish ways & becomes the decent human being she never thought she could be. But she quickly realizes that helping others kind of stinks. Is someone trying to thwart her attempts at irresistible inner beauty? Or will Jamie finally achieve the "I'm an angel" glow she knows will make Hudson Rivers fall madly in love w/ her?

Can Adults Become Human? (Dear Dumb Diary #5)

Can Adults Become Human? (Dear Dumb Diary #5)
Author: Jim Benton
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
Total Pages: 137
Release: 2013-08-27
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 0545295564

Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true...or at least as true as it needs to be.Dear Dumb Diary,My social studies teacher, Mr. VanDoy, never smiles. I know that's hard to believe, because everybody smiles about something, right?Isabella smiles when her brothers get in trouble. Angeline smiles when she thinks about how much prettier she is than, like, a waterfall or a unicorn. I smile when I think about a unicorn kicking Angeline over a waterfall. But Mr. VanDoy doesn't smile at all. I wonder if when you become an adult, you can lose your sense of humor the way you lose your teeth or hair or fashion sense.

Let's Pretend this Never Happened

Let's Pretend this Never Happened
Author: Jim Benton
Publisher:
Total Pages: 95
Release: 2004
Genre: Diaries
ISBN: 9781536422993

Middle school student, Jamie Kelly, writes all the strange and sometimes not so wonderful things that happens to her or she sees during school in her diary and promises that everything she writes is as true as she wants it to be.

Dumbness Is a Dish Best Served Cold

Dumbness Is a Dish Best Served Cold
Author: Jim Benton
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
Total Pages: 228
Release: 2016-06-28
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 0545932939

Return to Mackerel Middle School with a special full-color extra-dumb diary from the New York Times–bestselling author! Life at Mackerel Middle School is as dumb as ever—but Jamie Kelly may have finally found the key to fame, fortune, and fabulousness. Together with Isabella and Angeline, she’s come up with a moneymaking idea, and it has to do with food. Everyone likes food! They’re going to be rich! The only problem? They have to come up with something that people actually want to eat. Jamie has some sophisticated thoughts on food, like, “She was manipulating us like dough. Like the sweet, delicious dough that we are. And she was baking us into the type of delicious cookies you can only get from dough like us. And she was putting sprinkles of us on top of us, and—forget it. I’m hungry. I want some cookies.” This is sure to go well. Praise for Jim Benton’s books “An amusing antic sensibility.” —Publishers Weekly “Preteens will be onboard immediately.” —Kirkus Reviews

My Pants Are Haunted !

My Pants Are Haunted !
Author: Jamie Kelly
Publisher: Paw Prints
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2008-08-11
Genre: Diaries
ISBN: 9781439520482

Jamie Kelly writes in her diary about her new jeans, which seemingly cause events that affect both her popularity and her efforts to get close to the eighth cutest boy in school, Hudson Rivers.

The Worst Things in Life Are Also Free (Dear Dumb Diary #10)

The Worst Things in Life Are Also Free (Dear Dumb Diary #10)
Author: Jim Benton
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
Total Pages: 169
Release: 2013-08-27
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 0545347580

Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don't tell her.School's out for the summer, and that means no more Meat Loaf Thursdays, Sunday homework-cramming, or teachers (way way unsuccessfully) trying to act cool. It also means that certain Mackerel Middle Schoolers have a lot of time on their hands . . . and seriously empty pockets. Isabella is going to change all that. And Jamie and Angeline are going to help --- whether they like it or not. It's the best kind of teamwork: When a whole bunch of people work together to do something wrong, instead of doing it wrong one at a time.

Never Underestimate Your Dumbness (Dear Dumb Diary #7)

Never Underestimate Your Dumbness (Dear Dumb Diary #7)
Author: Jim Benton
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
Total Pages: 168
Release: 2013-08-27
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 0545295580

Sneak a peek inside the NY Times bestselling diary of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything she writes is true -- or at least as true as it needs to be.Dear Dumb Diary,Isabella is probably right. She almost always is.When I think back on all the things I've seen Angeline do, the one thing they have in common is that they're all dumb. (They're all strawberry-scented, too, but I think that's just her conditioner -- although her body might actually secrete its own strawberry scent.)But of all the dumb things she's ever done, this has got to be the dumbest. . . .

Nobody's Perfect. I'm As Close As It Gets. (Dear Dumb Diary Year Two #3)

Nobody's Perfect. I'm As Close As It Gets. (Dear Dumb Diary Year Two #3)
Author: Jim Benton
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
Total Pages: 146
Release: 2013-06-25
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 0545510074

Whatever you do, DON'T read Jamie Kelly's bestselling diaries! The bestselling Dear Dumb Diary series is a hilarious hit! Now Jamie Kelly's diaries have a fresh look and a fun twist. Dear Dumb Diary Year Two is still laugh-out-loud funny -- but everything is another year dumber!As Jamie continues to grapple with middle school's Big Questions, she drops even more snarky gems of wisdom like, "Everybody knows that the more you love somebody, the less you try to look nice for them," and "People don't appreciate how much willpower it takes to do the wrong thing."(But Jamie STILL has no idea that anybody is reading her diary. So please, please, please don't tell her.)

That's What Friends Aren't For (Dear Dumb Diary #9)

That's What Friends Aren't For (Dear Dumb Diary #9)
Author: Jim Benton
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
Total Pages: 152
Release: 2013-08-27
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 0545308461

Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don't tell her.Dear Dumb Diary,So now I'm friends with Angeline. This is automatic friendship, and I have to just accept it and make the best of things. See, if I objected, then Aunt Carol might divorce Angeline's uncle, sending both of them tumbling into a deep pit of depression for the rest of their lives, and Angeline could wind up feeling so guilty that she would have to go be locked up in an old dirty insane asylum for years and years, and Stinker's puppies could grow up not knowing both their parents --- and I couldn't live with myself for doing something like that to a puppy.

It's Not My Fault I Know Everything (Dear Dumb Diary #8)

It's Not My Fault I Know Everything (Dear Dumb Diary #8)
Author: Jim Benton
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
Total Pages: 154
Release: 2013-08-27
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 0545649463

New York Times Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with another hilarious, candid, and sometimes not-so-nice diary!Dear Dumb Diary,I went back and read some of my very oldest diaries. The entries say things like "I eated salad dressing" and "I got a Barbie shoe stuck in Stinker's nose again" and "The vet was mean to me about the Barbie shoe so I tried to bite him but vets are quick at not getting bit because dogs try all the time but dogs don't usually kick so I did that."What amazed me was just how dumb I used to be, considering how smart I am now. There must have been a day when I just woke up smart.