Mommy Cusses

Mommy Cusses
Author: Dorman Serena
Publisher: Chronicle Books
Total Pages: 114
Release: 2021-06-25
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1797206249

For fans of Go the F*ck to Sleep, Mommy Cusses is a hilarious novelty parenting book full of tell-it-like-it-is quotes, snarky lists, and too-true anecdotes that will resonate with new moms everywhere. For new-ish mothers who need to laugh at the absurdity of parenting so they don't cry, who are looking for a we're-in-this-together sense of solidarity, and who don't have time to read a "real" book, here is a hilarious and highly relatable collection of mom malarkey. There are real-talk quotes, helpful lists (such as "How to Look Like You Have Your Act Together"), "mom-tivities," and quizzes, all delivered with a healthy dose of sarcasm. Packaged in a handy trim size with colorful illustrations throughout, Mommy Cusses is the perfect gift for moms and moms-to-be who need some comic relief. • GREAT GIFT: Mommy Cusses is super relatable and laugh-out-loud funny, making it an easy gift for Mother's Day or a baby shower, or an anytime gift for a parent. • PERENNIAL TOPIC: It doesn't take long to experience all the ups and downs of parenting. Mommy Cusses features timeless mommy humor that won't go out of style and a fresh look and feel that speaks to young parents. Perfect for: • Expectant parents and parents of children under 5 • Shoppers looking for a baby shower or Mother's Day gift for a friend, spouse, or daughter • Followers of the Mommy Cusses blog or Instagram account

The Cursing Mommy's Book of Days

The Cursing Mommy's Book of Days
Author: Ian Frazier
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Total Pages: 254
Release: 2012-10-02
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 0374709491

Based on his widely read columns for The New Yorker, Ian Frazier's uproarious first novel, The Cursing Mommy's Book of Days, centers on a profoundly memorable character, sprung from an impressively fertile imagination. Structured as a daybook of sorts, the book follows the Cursing Mommy—beleaguered wife of Larry and mother of two boys, twelve and eight—as she tries (more or less) valiantly to offer tips on how to do various tasks around the home, only to end up on the ground, cursing, surrounded by broken glass. Her voice is somewhere between Phyllis Diller's and Sylvia Plath's: a hilariously desperate housewife with a taste for swearing and large glasses of red wine, who speaks to the frustrations of everyday life. Frazier has demonstrated an astonishing ability to operate with ease in a variety of registers: from On the Rez, an investigation into the lives of modern day Oglala Sioux written with a mix of humor, compassion, and imagination, to Dating Your Mom, a sidesplitting collection of humorous essays that imagines, among other things, how and why you might begin a romance with your mother. Here, Frazier tackles another genre with his usual grace and aplomb, as well as an extra helping of his trademark wicked wit. The Cursing Mommy's failures and weaknesses are our own—and Frazier gives them a loving, satirical spin that is uniquely his own.

Moms Who Drink and Swear

Moms Who Drink and Swear
Author: Nicole Knepper
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 337
Release: 2013-04-02
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 110165094X

If you feel like your kids are killing you, you’ve come to the right place. This irreverant, hilarious guide to the trials of motherhood makes the perfect gift for mom—or any woman with a huge heart and a mouth that sometimes needs washing out with soap. Attention all potty-mouthed, cheap-wine-drinking mothers: Prepare to meet your match. Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It’s that she understands what a mind-f*?% it can be to try to civilize those wild little beasts. Based on her hugely popular Facebook page, “Moms Who Drink and Swear,” this book reveals why family dinners are like herpes, how to avoid smashing toys that are being fought over, and the joy of hearing that your son has murdered his imaginary friend. As Nicole rants and raves about caring for children (without crushing their souls), family togetherness (without too many tears), the saving grace of girlfriends (and vodka), and love and marriage (and all the baggage that goes with them), she gets to the heart of what every exasperated mom is thinking, just much funnier.

Child, Please

Child, Please
Author: Ylonda Gault Caviness
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 322
Release: 2015-05-05
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 0698158431

In this wise and funny memoir, Ylonda Gault Caviness describes her journey to the realization that all the parenting advice she was obsessively devouring as a new parent (and sharing with the world as a parenting expert and journalist) didn't mean scratch compared to her mama's old-school wisdom as a strong black woman and mother. With child number one, Caviness set her course: to give her children everything she had. Child number two came along and she patiently persisted. But when her third child arrived, Caviness was so exhausted that she decided to listen to what her mother had been saying all along: Give them everything they want, and there'll be nothing left of you. In Child, Please, Caviness describes the road back to embracing a more sane--not to mention loving--way of raising children. Her mother had it right all along.

We Without You

We Without You
Author: Lisa Swerling
Publisher: Chronicle Books
Total Pages: 99
Release: 2013-09-17
Genre: Juvenile Nonfiction
ISBN: 1452129924

From New York Times–bestselling authors, a collection of cartoons celebrating parental love, a perfect gift for expecting couples, new baby or young child. This smile-inducing book features countless color illustrations of scenarios that are simply incomplete without the whole family. “We without you? What would we do? Like crafts without glue. Yodelay without hee hoo.” From famed cartoonists and authors of Me Without You Lisa Swerling and Ralph Lazar, the book celebrates family love without being too sappy or sweet. An oh-so-cute baby shower, mom-to-mom, or mom-to-kid gift for Valentine’s Day or just because, We Without You will be shared and enjoyed by the entire family again and again.

There Are Moms Way Worse Than You

There Are Moms Way Worse Than You
Author: Glenn Boozan
Publisher: Workman Publishing
Total Pages: 65
Release: 2022-03-29
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1523515643

A rhyming illustrated humor book for moms who feel they're not doing a good job (and that's all moms, right?). Packed with scientifically true examples of terrible parents in the animal kingdom, to remind and reassure any mother that there are way worse moms out there.

52 Helpful Tips for New Parents

52 Helpful Tips for New Parents
Author: Chronicle Books
Publisher: Chronicle Books
Total Pages: 111
Release: 2021-02-16
Genre:
ISBN: 1797212036

Essential guidance for new parents in bite-size form, this refresh of a classic deck from the bestselling 52 series is a perfect baby shower gift. Every new parent could use a little help—and a lot of encouragement. This updated version of a favorite deck from the beloved 52 series is full of reassurance and advice to smooth the transition into parenthood. With 52 cards offering guidance on everything from how to get sleep to how to stay calm (even when the baby isn't), these cards are a wellspring of welcome wisdom for new parents, boiled down into quick tips easy to read on any schedule. CONVENIENT AND HANDY: This deck is an easy way to process a year's worth of parenting life-hacks whenever is convenient. CUTE BABY SHOWER GIFT: With charming illustrations and a petite package, this little box of parenting know-how makes an easy gift pick for new parents. Perfect for: • New parents looking for a quick and convenient advice

Toddlers Are A**holes

Toddlers Are A**holes
Author: Bunmi Laditan
Publisher: Workman Publishing
Total Pages: 177
Release: 2015-04-07
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 076118564X

Toddler a**holery is a normal part of human development—not unlike puberty, except this stage involves throwing food on the floor and taking swings at people who pay your way in life. For parents of toddlers, it's a "you better laugh so you don't cry" period. Bunmi Laditan's hilarious, satirical guide to toddlerhood offers parents instant (and very welcome) comic relief—along with the very good news that "It's Not Your Fault." Chapters cover the cost of raising a toddler, feeding your toddler, potty-training, tantrums, how to manage the holidays, and "how not to die inside." Parents will see themselves in the very funny sections on taking your toddler to restaurants ("One parent will spend their time walking your toddler around the restaurant and outside like a cocker spaniel, while the other, luckier parent will eat alone."), Things You Thought You'd Never Say That You Now Say As a Parent of a Toddler ("I can tell you're pooping because your eyes are watering."), and how to order pizza ("Spend $40 on pizza delivery. Listen to your toddler cry for 30 minutes about how the pizza is all wrong. Watch your toddler take a small bite of crust. Google 'can anger give you a heart attack?' Start the bedtime routine."). Laditan's wildly funny voice has attracted hundreds of thousands of fans of Honest Toddler on social media; here she speaks parent-to-tired-parent, easing the pains and challenges of raising toddlers with a hefty dose of adult humor and wit.

"Mom, Jason's Breathing on Me!"

Author: Anthony Wolf
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Total Pages: 226
Release: 2003-08-26
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 0345460928

AT LAST—SOUND, PRACTICAL RELIEF FOR PARENTS WITH BATTLING KIDS! Imagine. You might never again have to hear the words: “Mommy, Ann drooled on me on purpose.” You could have the answer for every “It’s not fair!” your kids have ever whined at you. Constant sibling squabbling—and the ensuing demand that you pick a side, quick—can wear parents down and totally drain the fun right out of family life. Now in this groundbreaking book, Dr. Anthony Wolf offers a whole new strategy for coping. In a fresh, funny, and straightforward way, Dr. Wolf presents three essential rules for dealing with sibling arguments—rules that, if followed, completely remove the root causes of bickering. From teasing and hitting to rivalries and boundaries, Dr. Wolf addresses a wide range of issues, and he does it with humor and a pitch-perfect ear for actual kid/parent dialogue. This is a book about real children—who they are, what they want, why they act as they do, and what you can do to alleviate the strife between siblings.

Why Mommy Swears

Why Mommy Swears
Author: Gill Sims
Publisher: HarperCollins
Total Pages: 273
Release: 2019-03-12
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 0008298793

Why Mommy Swears is the much anticipated new novel from Gill Sims, author of the hilarious Why Mommy Drinks and online sensation Peter and Jane.