Kiss Me in the Coral Lounge

Kiss Me in the Coral Lounge
Author: Helen Ellis
Publisher: National Geographic Books
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2023-06-13
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 0385548206

New York Times bestselling author Helen Ellis (“As original as she is hilarious.” –People magazine) unleashes a boisterous, bawdy, and unabashedly romantic new collection of essays about love, marriage, and her last first kiss. Welcome to the Coral Lounge, a room in Helen Ellis’s New York City apartment painted such an exuberant shade of Sherman Williams that a peeping Tom once left a sticky note with the doorman asking for the color. It is in the Coral Lounge that the magic of Helen’s marriage unfolds: Shindigs where strangers swap clothing in the powder room, a party game called “What’s in the box?” makes its uproarious debut, the Puzzle Posse pounces on a 500-piece jigsaw of a beheaded priest. Then, when the pandemic shuts down the city, the Coral Lounge becomes a place of refuge, where Helen and her husband eat take-out while sitting on the floor like toddlers, dragging French fries through a ketchup swamp, where they sing to the two enormous cats who chew on Helen’s hair while she sleeps, and where they while away the hours with Mexican Viagra and the ensuing neck injury. In these surprising, romantic, sexy, and hilariously frank essays Helen Ellis paints a portrait of true romance for our times.

Kiss Me in the Coral Lounge

Kiss Me in the Coral Lounge
Author: Helen Ellis
Publisher: Random House
Total Pages: 225
Release: 2024-06-25
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 0593466551

Even twenty years into marriage, Helen Ellis’s husband still makes her heart pitter patter. The New York Times bestselling author paints a portrait of true romance for our times in these surprising, sexy, and hilariously frank essays about love, marriage, and her last first kiss. "Ellis is one of our greatest living humorists, in the same league as Sedaris and Irby...A fascinating portrait of middle-aged love.” —Ann Napolitano, New York Times bestselling author of Dear Edward Welcome to the Coral Lounge, a room in Helen Ellis’s New York City apartment painted such an exuberant shade that a Peeping Tom left a sticky note asking for the color. It is in the Coral Lounge where all the parties happen: A game called “What’s in the box?” makes its uproarious debut, the Puzzle Posse pounces on a 500-piece jigsaw of a beheaded priest, and guests don blindfolds for a raucous bridal shower. When the pandemic shuts down the city, the Coral Lounge becomes a place of refuge, where Helen and her husband binge-watch Joan Collins’s Dynasty, dote on two spoiled cats, and where Helen discovers that even twenty years into marriage, her husband still makes her heart pitter patter.

American Housewife

American Housewife
Author: Helen Ellis
Publisher: Anchor
Total Pages: 126
Release: 2016-01-12
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 038554104X

NATIONAL BESTSELLER • “A raucous, whip-smart collection of stories featuring retro-feminist ladies who lunch.” —Elle Meet the women of American Housewife. They wear lipstick, pearls, and sunscreen, even when it’s cloudy. They casserole. They pinwheel. And then they kill a party crasher, carefully stepping around the body to pull cookies from the oven. Taking us from a haunted pre-war Manhattan apartment building to the unique initiation ritual of a book club, these twelve delightfully demented stories are a refreshing and wicked answer to the question: “What do housewives do all day?”

Eating The Cheshire Cat

Eating The Cheshire Cat
Author: Helen Ellis
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 292
Release: 2001-02-13
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 068486441X

The debut novel by the author of American Housewife. Eating the Cheshire Cat lures us into a world of perfectly planned parties and steep social ladders, where traditional rites of passage take unpredictable and horrifying turns as three girls and their overbearing mothers collide. In Tuscaloosa, Alabama, beauty is as beauty does, with axes and knives and killer smiles. Sarina Summers and her mother will stop at nothing to have it all. Nicole Hicks harbors a fierce obsession with Sarina, which repeatedly undermines Mrs. Hicks's ambitious goals. Bitty Jack Carlson, a nice girl from the wrong side of the tracks, is caught in the crossfire but struggles to succeed outside the confines of this outrageous yet eerily familiar Southern community. It's survival of the fittest. Which girl will come out on top? Covering everything from summer camp to the University of Alabama's Homecoming game, this fast-paced and unforgettable novel will keep readers guessing until the bitter end.

Bring Your Baggage and Don't Pack Light

Bring Your Baggage and Don't Pack Light
Author: Helen Ellis
Publisher: Anchor
Total Pages: 119
Release: 2021-07-13
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 0385546165

The bestselling author of American Housewife and Southern Lady Code returns with an “inspiring, hilarious, straight-to-the-point” (Entertainment Weekly) collection of essays on friendship among grown-ass women. "Ellis' prose is filled with so many laugh lines, you might want to go ahead and book the Botox.” —NPR When Helen Ellis and her lifelong friends arrive for a reunion on the Redneck Riviera, they unpack more than their suitcases: stories of husbands and kids, lost parents and lost jobs, powdered onion dip and photographs you have to hold by the edges, dirty jokes and sunscreen with SPF higher than they hair-sprayed their bangs senior year, and a bad mammogram. It's a diagnosis that scares them, but could never break their bond. Because women pushing fifty won't be pushed around. In these twelve gloriously comic and moving essays, Helen Ellis dishes on married middle-age sex, sobs with a theater full of women as a psychic exorcises their sorrows, gets twenty shots of stomach bile to the neck to get rid of her double chin, and gathers up the courage to ask, "Are you there, Menopause? It's Me, Helen." A book that reads like the best cocktail party of your life, Bring Your Baggage and Don't Pack Light is alive with the sensational humor and ferocious love for her friends that won Helen Ellis legions of fans. This book has a raw vulnerability and an emotional generosity that takes this acclaimed author to a whole new level of accomplishment.

Southern Lady Code

Southern Lady Code
Author: Helen Ellis
Publisher: Anchor
Total Pages: 224
Release: 2019-04-16
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 0385543905

A collection of essays that are "like being seated beside the most entertaining guest at a dinner party" (Atlanta Journal Constitution), from the New York Times bestselling author of American Housewives “Thank you Helen Ellis for writing down the Southern Lady Code so that others may learn.” —Ann Patchett, bestselling author of The Dutch House Helen Ellis has a mantra: “If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way.” Say “weathered” instead of “she looks like a cake left out in the rain” and “I’m not in charge” instead of “they’re doing it wrong.” In these twenty-three raucous essays, Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a Burberry trench coat, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen. While she may have left Alabama for New York City, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread, and offering readers a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon.

Bob Ross' Happy Little Night Before Christmas

Bob Ross' Happy Little Night Before Christmas
Author: Robb Pearlman
Publisher: BenBella Books
Total Pages: 32
Release: 2021-10-19
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1637740247

An instant holiday classic. A happy little Christmas miracle. Even after more than 20 years after his death, pop culture icon, painter, host, and teacher Bob Ross has never been more heralded than he is today. His memorable quotes, friendly face, and signature hairstyle grace merchandise and memes around the world. But what makes Bob as beloved as he is are ultimately his core values, and his peaceful, joyful demeanor that encouraged his students and viewers to not only appreciate their natural talents but to appreciate the natural world around them. Bob was, in many respects, the embodiment of the classic holiday sprint which encourages peace on Earth and good will toward men. Now, for the first time, inspired by the classic Clement C. Moore’s story, this fully-authorized tale of a painter (and his little squirrel friend) on a cold winter night pairs Bob Ross's most beautiful wintertime landscapes with a meditation on embracing not only your inner creativity, but the beauty of nature, and the feelings of peace, friendship, and harmony that blankets the entire holiday season like a happy little snowfall. Perfect for families, fans, and painters of all ages, Bob Ross’s Happy Little Night Before Christmas is the perfect addition to any holiday tradition.

What Do We Do Now?

What Do We Do Now?
Author: Keith Malley
Publisher: Harmony
Total Pages: 258
Release: 2010-03-09
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 0307459993

Finally, a modern relationship book for the modern relationship. What Do We Do Now? is an R-rated, utterly honest Q&A book culled from the best and funniest questions posed by Keith and the Girl devotees, including: • My boyfriend joined the military and is being shipped off for an unknown amount of time. I’m young and I want to move on. Am I a bad person? • Why does my boyfriend always adjust himself in public? • My wife dresses like a slut. How do I make her stop? • My boyfriend’s number one friend on MySpace is his ex. Should I be concerned? With he-said, she-said advice that is both raw and honest, What Do We Do Now? is sure to appeal to the podcast’s legion of fans, and attract a brand-new audience tired of the tried-and-not-so-true relationship manuals.

Garfield Nutty as a Fruitcake

Garfield Nutty as a Fruitcake
Author: Jim Davis
Publisher: National Geographic Books
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2018-12-11
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 0425285766

Nutty Fun! What kind of house does Garfield live in? A nuthouse, of course! The Arbuckle home is located just around the bend, where Jon and his wacky pets display their mad skills for having fun! Experience the zaniness with this all-new collection of quirky comics!

Ladies' Night

Ladies' Night
Author: Mary Kay Andrews
Publisher:
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2014
Genre: Divorced women
ISBN: 9781594137006

Stuck with little money and divorced, rising media star Grace Stanton moves in with her widowed mother and attends court-mandated group therapy where she bonds with three fellow patients who she helps plot respective pursuits of justice and closure.