The two fictional characters, Jake and Duke, engage in a verbal joust regarding the supposed problems caused by gays, criminals, welfare, and women. Jake's suggestions to deal with these problems are to get laws passed which would allow the authorities an option in dealing with rapists, to execute gangbangers convicted of murder after giving them just one legal appeal, to give no child support to unmarried mothers, to allow Puerto Rico to end its ties with the United States and for them to become partners with South America. Jake would have laws passed to keep the United States an English speaking country by ending all bilingual programs, and to hold the Mexican government liable for all the medical bills generated by Mexican illegals which the hospitals in the Southwest have to absorb. He would have the United States pay the Mexican government room and board to house American prisoners so the taxpayers won't be obliged to construct new jails at an enormous cost. He would have a law passed to make it mandatory for a woman who has had an abortion to put a small cross on her forehead for each abortion, using permanent cosmetics. He would have the authorities turn convicted drug dealers into drug addicts so they could feel the pain they cause to the users. Jake's off-the-wall suggestions are countered by his long time friend, Duke, who suggests more humane treatment for those in need, instead of the barbaric proposals made by Jake.