If It Doesnt Involve Garden Gnomes Then I Cant Help You
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Author | : Paul Rudnick |
Publisher | : Scholastic Inc. |
Total Pages | : 258 |
Release | : 2016-01-26 |
Genre | : Young Adult Fiction |
ISBN | : 0545464978 |
One last chance. One wild weekend. Flat out the funniest book of the year. "Paul Rudnick makes me lie hysterical on the floor, screeching with laughter and sobbing with fury that I can't write the way he does." -- E. Lockhart, author of We Were Liars and The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-BanksMy name is Caitlin and up until forty-eight hours ago I had never:Tasted alcohol, kissed a boy, sang in public at the top of my lungs, kidnapped anyone or -- WHAT? STOLEN A CONVERTIBLE?Now I'm in jail and I have no idea what I'm going to tell:The police, my parents, the mayor, all of those camera crews and everyone on Twitter.I have just noticed that:My nose is pierced and I have-WAIT? IS THAT A TATTOO?I blame one person for this entire insane weekend:My famous cousin.Who is also my former best friend.Who I have HATED for the past four years.Who I miss like crazy. NO I DON'T!!!!IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, HELLER HARRIGAN!!!!
Author | : Winston Smith |
Publisher | : Last Gasp |
Total Pages | : 122 |
Release | : 2004 |
Genre | : Art |
ISBN | : 9780867196160 |
Winston Smith, named for the protagonist of George Orwell's 1984, uses old school' cut and paste methods to create his collages of old Americana images juxtaposed into shocking pictures. Smith's work is often seen in Playboy, the New Yorker and on album covers for such diverse groups as Green Day and George Carlin. Dinosaurs poke their head into windows as 1950s suburban housewives take fresh-baked MX missiles out of the oven. Introduction by Carlo McCormick.'
Author | : Mila Hasan |
Publisher | : Lulu.com |
Total Pages | : 175 |
Release | : 2016-12-19 |
Genre | : Performing Arts |
ISBN | : 1326896709 |
The Property Brothers, Jonathan and Drew Scott, the most informative and innovative twins around today. Not only sharing their vast knowledge of the property market and design, but also entertaining us with their shows, their music and don't forget their own book too. This book aims to put together most things about the brothers in one place, with a brief reference to older brother, JD too
Author | : Eric R. Asher |
Publisher | : Eric R. Asher |
Total Pages | : 224 |
Release | : 2023-04-25 |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : |
Garden gnomes have lived rent-free long enough. The last thing necromancer Damian Vesik expects to face is a clan of panicky garden gnomes. But his sister, Sam, gave her word to protect them, and breaking her word to the Fae would be disastrous. With help from Calbach, the iron-touched Fae, they seek what is stalking the garden gnomes. Reality proves far worse than they imagined, landing Damian and his friends on the wrong side of the Iron Queen's most-feared assassin. The queen may be the key to defeating the dreaded red cap, but the garden gnomes’ ancient betrayal of their queen created bad blood between them. As the threat from the red cap looms, Damian, Foster, and Calbach must take Nog deep into Faerie in an attempt to right an old wrong. Gritty action meets snarky humor in this standalone entry in the Vesik series!
Author | : Dean C. Moore |
Publisher | : Dean C. Moore |
Total Pages | : 423 |
Release | : 2016-03-09 |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : |
It’s the early days in an Age of Abundance, just decades into the future. Consciousness continues to co-evolve with the self-empowerment technologies that give humans almost supernatural powers. Still, some would use these gifts to give free rein to their evil. One such psychopath and his cybernetic creation, a nine-year old girl, are out to save humanity from itself. Clyde Barker is convinced that self-empowerment and self-directed evolution are affronts to God. One might think that even a genius in fashioning human upgrades and a cybernetic little girl with a four-digit IQ would be easily neutralized in an Age of Abundance. One would be wrong. You see, his little girl has a rather unique skill. One might say a special power. With her help, Clyde can pop in and out of timelines at will, steering them in the direction he wants without anyone being any the wiser. Of course, nothing comes easy, not even to a clever, highly-manipulative psychopath. Kendra Harding is the detective heading up the hunt for Clyde Barker. Her on-again, off-again lover and partner in crime, Torin Zealton, is both the coroner and a highly-prized psychic. Getting into her mind uninvited as a matter of habit has all but destroyed their relationship. But getting into Clyde’s mind might just save the world. The four timelines explored, in which Kendra and Torin chase down Clyde Barker and his cybernetic creation, give us four different takes on a near-future Age of Abundance, each more glorious and fantastic than the last. Seeing the romance between the wisecracking protagonist paramours, replete with its ups and downs, evolve across four different timelines, moreover, lends the love they share an epic, eternal quality; one that might survive Clyde Barker, even if nothing else does. NOTE: CONCEIVED IN THE SPIRIT OF IAIN M. BANKS’ CULTURE SERIES, THE NOVELS IN THE AGE OF ABUNDANCE SERIES, LIKEWISE, ARE STAND-ALONE BOOKS THAT CAN BE READ IN ANY ORDER. THEY FEATURE DIFFERENT CASTS OF CHARACTERS. THE AGE OF ABUNDANCE IN WHICH THE STORIES ARE SET SPANS FROM THE NEAR FUTURE TO THE FAR FUTURE. IN THE EVENT ANY OF THE AGE OF ABUNDANCE NOVELS ARE SERIALIZED, THEN THE SAME CAST WOULD PREVAIL. I.E. TIME BANDITS 2.
Author | : Sara M. Barton |
Publisher | : Sara Barton |
Total Pages | : 102 |
Release | : 2024-05-29 |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : |
Angus McDonald is a man once suspected of murdering his soon-to-be ex-wife. Annie Colston is a murder mystery author with a knack for character profiles. They’re not your typical amateur sleuths. When Angus’s brother, Duncan, starts to fall apart, the pair of determined sleuths hit the road. Is Duncan’s manipulative wife planning to murder him and take over his company? How do you prove a man is being slowly driven mad with dangerous drugs? Angus and Annie race against the clock, desperate to extract him from the woman they call the lady vulture. And along the way, they indulge their inner foodies with culinary delights. What better way is there to celebrate Christmas Eve than with a Feast of the Seven Fishes? This will be a December they’ll never forget!
Author | : Hobby Journals |
Publisher | : |
Total Pages | : 122 |
Release | : 2020-01-03 |
Genre | : |
ISBN | : 9781654951122 |
A perfect notebook for any lovers of Garden Gnomes A pure and simple lined journal / notebook with a funny phrase on the front and all at a very low price for a decent gag gift. 6 x 9 in size 120 blank pages to deface and use as required Great eye catching cover. Buy one for your favorite co-worker, friend, husband, wife, partner or just about anyone who enjoys a good laugh and Garden Gnomes!
Author | : Chuck Sambuchino |
Publisher | : Random House |
Total Pages | : 114 |
Release | : 2014-06-05 |
Genre | : Humor |
ISBN | : 1473501962 |
There’s a new threat in town – and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless garden decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here. Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defence expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system – Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply – for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognising and interpreting the signs of a gathering horde and – in the event that a secured perimeter is breached – confronting and combating the attackers at close range.
Author | : Lisa Gardner |
Publisher | : Bantam |
Total Pages | : 1601 |
Release | : 2012-12-10 |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : 034554112X |
Number one New York Times bestselling author Lisa Gardner thrills readers with her novels of suspense featuring Boston homicide detective D. D. Warren. Hostage standoffs, copycat killers, missing wives, brutal crimes, haunted survivors—Gardner weaves all these elements into compelling fiction. Now the first five books in her acclaimed D. D. Warren series are together in one convenient eBook bundle, including: ALONE HIDE THE NEIGHBOR LIVE TO TELL LOVE YOU MORE “Lisa Gardner always delivers heart-stopping suspense.”—Harlan Coben “One of the best thriller writers in the business.”—Associated Press
Author | : Tarah Benner |
Publisher | : Tarah Benner |
Total Pages | : 360 |
Release | : 2021-10-15 |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : |
Don’t miss the third installment in Tarah Benner’s riveting dystopian saga! When Lark, Soren, and Axel disappear from Kingsville, Bernie learns that her friends have been captured by Homeland Security. They’re being detained at Cheyenne Mountain Complex, an impenetrable government fortress where prisoners have been known to disappear. Homeland Security wants information on GreenSeed, but Soren is still reeling from his discovery in Kingsville. He’s combative and inconsolable, while Axel is determined to block the government at every turn. Lark is desperate to negotiate their freedom, but she doesn’t know whom she can trust. When the agents come to Lark with an offer, she’ll have to make a choice that carries monumental consequences: Risk her freedom in exchange for Soren’s and Axel’s, or sentence them all to a life behind bars.