I Just Wanna Drink Wine And Pet My Cocker Spaniel
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Author | : George Lopez |
Publisher | : Penguin |
Total Pages | : 288 |
Release | : 2013-05-07 |
Genre | : Humor |
ISBN | : 1101603410 |
From one of the most celebrated and beloved comedians and actors of our time, George Lopez, comes this hilarious, touching, and often wacky chronicle of life after fifty. George Lopez just hit the half-century mark and the reset button on his life. Newly single and ready to embrace life, George was excited to turn fifty. It would be a welcome new phase in his life, a chance to say goodbye to a decade that included a kidney transplant and a divorce. But when he looked around a room full of his childhood friends, all gathered to celebrate his birthday, many now bald or overweight, it suddenly hit him that he was old. What happened? And more importantly, what was he going to do about it? George learns the hard way that when you turn 50, everything changes. You pull a muscle in your sleep. You avoid mirrors at all costs, and always, always wear a robe. You have to schedule an appointment to have sex. You have to dye your hair and buy a bathtub with a door. As George learns to embrace life after fifty, he invites readers into his world, sharing the ups and downs of getting older—from his relationship with a much younger woman to a bizarre session with a pet psychic, to a trip behind-the-scenes at his tumultuous two years at Lopez Tonight, to an intimate look at his sacred ground, the golf course—and, for the first time, he reveals in moving detail, the story of the battle for his life against kidney disease. I’m Not Gonna Lie will make you laugh at yourself, cry about yourself, and look at turning fifty in a way you never would’ve imagined—through the eyes of George Lopez.
Author | : Paul Griner |
Publisher | : Sarabande Books |
Total Pages | : 143 |
Release | : 2015-04-13 |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : 1941411010 |
An otherworldly short story collection that shines “a glaring light on the complexities of human personality and family relationships” (Kirkus Reviews). “Paul Griner is a daredevil storyteller. . . . Anyone who cares about the short story—or just loves good writing—should make a beeline for this remarkable collection.” —Tom Perotta, author of The Leftovers The stories in Hurry Please I Want to Know invite urgent curiosity as Paul Griner spins between quotidian worlds infused with the foreign and the familiar. A man brings his mother back from the dead, only to find her most irritating quirk magnified. A low-ranking soldier is forced to milk a cow within enemy range. A cartoonist’s daughter waits each morning to see how her father’s mood dictates how he will draw her face. Grieving siblings wait to inherit one of their father’s physical features after his death . . . Griner’s endings shift between the shocking and quiet. The result is a meditation on capturing the intangible, and the human fascination with realms that are not our own. Hurry Please I Want to Know gives us the sensation of falling into someone else’s world and an immediate future spent sorting out its thrilling peculiarities. “Griner approaches everyday tragedies by building elaborate machines and shaky structures in the hope of creating a facsimile of life that might somehow become real . . . A pleasure.” —The New York Times “Griner overlays tales of family, artistry, and parent-child relationships with elements of the surreal, in order to create, in the words of one character, ‘an undercurrent of mournfulness’.” —Publishers Weekly “The writing is careful, precise, shocking—stylistically brilliant.” —Bobbie Ann Mason, author of The Girl in the Blue Beret
Author | : Patricia McConnell, Ph.D. |
Publisher | : Ballantine Books |
Total Pages | : 289 |
Release | : 2009-02-19 |
Genre | : Pets |
ISBN | : 0307489183 |
Learn to communicate with your dog—using their language “Good reading for dog lovers and an immensely useful manual for dog owners.”—The Washington Post An Applied Animal Behaviorist and dog trainer with more than twenty years’ experience, Dr. Patricia McConnell reveals a revolutionary new perspective on our relationship with dogs—sharing insights on how “man’s best friend” might interpret our behavior, as well as essential advice on how to interact with our four-legged friends in ways that bring out the best in them. After all, humans and dogs are two entirely different species, each shaped by its individual evolutionary heritage. Quite simply, humans are primates and dogs are canids (as are wolves, coyotes, and foxes). Since we each speak a different native tongue, a lot gets lost in the translation. This marvelous guide demonstrates how even the slightest changes in our voices and in the ways we stand can help dogs understand what we want. Inside you will discover: • How you can get your dog to come when called by acting less like a primate and more like a dog • Why the advice to “get dominance” over your dog can cause problems • Why “rough and tumble primate play” can lead to trouble—and how to play with your dog in ways that are fun and keep him out of mischief • How dogs and humans share personality types—and why most dogs want to live with benevolent leaders rather than “alpha wanna-bes!” Fascinating, insightful, and compelling, The Other End of the Leash is a book that strives to help you connect with your dog in a completely new way—so as to enrich that most rewarding of relationships.
Author | : Joel Stein |
Publisher | : Hachette+ORM |
Total Pages | : 202 |
Release | : 2012-03-27 |
Genre | : Biography & Autobiography |
ISBN | : 1455510572 |
The smudge looked suspiciously penis- like. The doctor confirmed: "That's the baby's penis!" which caused not celebration, but panic. Joel pictured having to go camping and fix a car and use a hammer and throw a football and watch professionals throw footballs and figure out whether to be sad or happy about the results of said football throwing. So begins his quest to confront his effete nature whether he likes it or not (he doesn't), by doing a twenty-four-hour shift with L.A. firefighters, going hunting, rebuilding a house, driving a Lamborghini, enduring three days of boot camp with the U.S. Army, day-trading with $100,000, and going into the ring with UFC Hall of Famer Randy Couture. Seeking help from a panel of experts, including his manly father-in-law, Boy Scouts, former NFL star Warren Sapp, former MLB All-Star Shawn Green, Adam Carolla, and a pit bull named Hercules, he expects to learn that masculinity is defined not by the size of his muscles, but by the size of his heart (also, technically, a muscle). This is not at all what he learns.
Author | : Judith Viorst |
Publisher | : Simon and Schuster |
Total Pages | : 34 |
Release | : 2009-09-22 |
Genre | : Juvenile Fiction |
ISBN | : 1416985956 |
Recounts the events of a day when everything goes wrong for Alexander. Suggested level: junior, primary.
Author | : Gwen Bailey |
Publisher | : |
Total Pages | : 0 |
Release | : 2017 |
Genre | : Pets |
ISBN | : 9781770859111 |
Highly regarded dog behaviorist Gwen Bailey shares her proven system of training a puppy. Gwen Bailey's bestselling puppy care guide has helped hundreds of thousands of owners throughout the world raise a problem-free dog. It is now updated with the latest findings in canine behavior and a completely new user-friendly design, and answers many of the questions she has received from dog owners since the first edition. The Perfect Puppy teaches new puppy owners how to raise a well-behaved dog. Bailey's aim is to show puppy owners how they can influence their puppy's behavior for the better, and how to mold his future character. She uses her proven system of training a puppy using only positive rewards-based methods, coupled with a lot of play and fun Full-color photographs show how to housebreak a puppy, how to teach it to obey, how to prevent biting, chewing and other problems, and to generally be a good canine citizen and a beloved member of the family. She provides step-by-step training, a valuable socialization plan, and games that incorporate learning. The contents include: The raw material - how breeds affect behavior A puppy's view of the world The new family, life with a puppy Developmental stages Socialization Housetraining Behavior control and leadership Toys and games Preventing biting, aggression, chewing Handling and grooming Good manners and learning to be alone Training your puppy Adolescence and beyond.
Author | : Teresa Rhyne |
Publisher | : Sourcebooks, Inc. |
Total Pages | : 287 |
Release | : 2012 |
Genre | : Biography & Autobiography |
ISBN | : 1402271727 |
Recounts the author's journey nursing her adopted beagle Seamus through his cancer treatment as she learned to deal with medical situations, unknowingly preparing herself for her own later triple-negative breast cancer diagnosis.
Author | : Marshall Saunders |
Publisher | : |
Total Pages | : 426 |
Release | : 1907 |
Genre | : Children's literature |
ISBN | : |
A dog describes being mistreated by a cruel master but then later being taken in by a kind family.
Author | : Marian Parsons |
Publisher | : Hachette UK |
Total Pages | : 682 |
Release | : 2021-10-12 |
Genre | : House & Home |
ISBN | : 1546015809 |
Discover how to achieve your dream home on an affordable budget using these inspiring pictures, practical tips, and easy-to-implement tutorials. Most of us don’t live in a dream home that was custom built to suit our tastes. We have to work with a house that brings its own style, quirks, and personality to the table. But imagine walking into this house, but it’s perfectly designed and decorated with your style in mind—a home that fits you like a well-tailored outfit and yet is as comfy as your favorite pair of pajamas. What would that home look like exactly? How would it feel to live in a home styled specifically for you? The truth is, every home should feel like a custom home and not have to break the bank. In Feels Like Home, DIY makeover queen Marian Parsons (a.k.a. Miss Mustard Seed) teaches you what she’s learned over the years, sharing budget-friendly practical tips that will inspire you to change your space from “blah” to beautiful, from a builder-grade to character-rich home. Each chapter will guide you through detailed, easy-to-implement tutorials for projects, makeovers, decorating ideas, and tips for handling common challenges. Special note-taking spaces are also included for recording your own design ideas. Room by room, you will be empowered to transform your house into the home of your dreams!
Author | : Lili Chin |
Publisher | : |
Total Pages | : 0 |
Release | : 2020 |
Genre | : |
ISBN | : 9781787839458 |
Dogs communicate with so much more than barks and tail wags. This small but mighty book is the perfect illustrated guide to noticing and understanding the subtle cues and behaviours that our beloved pets use to express how they're feeling, so that we can improve our relationship with our best friends, helping them to feel safe and happy.