Hilarious Jokes For Brilliant Blokes
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Author | : Pop Press |
Publisher | : Random House |
Total Pages | : 106 |
Release | : 2023-10-05 |
Genre | : Humor |
ISBN | : 1529929784 |
What's better than sharing a joke? Sharing 400 jokes. Give the gift of a laugh to your family comedian. This ultimate collection of laughs is packed with awesome jokes suitable for all ages - a book everyone can enjoy together. Featuring the cheesiest jokes imaginable: I'm scared of lifts. So I take steps to avoid them. Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that. I went to a still-life exhibition. It was quite good, but not moving. I used to run a dating service for chickens but I was struggling to make hens meet. I hate Russian dolls. They are so full of themselves. ... and hundreds more...
Author | : Tim Vine |
Publisher | : Random House |
Total Pages | : 322 |
Release | : 2010-09-30 |
Genre | : Humor |
ISBN | : 1409039307 |
The irrepressible, hysterical, puntastical Tim Vine, star of stage and screen, treats all of us here in his first joke book. Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like: The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.
Author | : Lynne Truss |
Publisher | : Penguin |
Total Pages | : 119 |
Release | : 2004-04-12 |
Genre | : Language Arts & Disciplines |
ISBN | : 1101218290 |
We all know the basics of punctuation. Or do we? A look at most neighborhood signage tells a different story. Through sloppy usage and low standards on the internet, in email, and now text messages, we have made proper punctuation an endangered species. In Eats, Shoots & Leaves, former editor Lynne Truss dares to say, in her delightfully urbane, witty, and very English way, that it is time to look at our commas and semicolons and see them as the wonderful and necessary things they are. This is a book for people who love punctuation and get upset when it is mishandled. From the invention of the question mark in the time of Charlemagne to George Orwell shunning the semicolon, this lively history makes a powerful case for the preservation of a system of printing conventions that is much too subtle to be mucked about with.
Author | : Carleton Britton Case |
Publisher | : |
Total Pages | : 332 |
Release | : 1919 |
Genre | : American wit and humor |
ISBN | : |
Author | : Willow Creek Press |
Publisher | : |
Total Pages | : 0 |
Release | : 2020-02 |
Genre | : English language |
ISBN | : 9781682348543 |
With one-liners like, "I was addicted to the hokey pokey... but thankfully, I turned myself around," how could you go wrong? Pun Intended will have you snickering and innocent bystanders rolling their eyes. This soft cover gift book is 112 pages of groan-worthy puns.
Author | : Frida Clements |
Publisher | : Chronicle Books |
Total Pages | : 82 |
Release | : 2015-08-11 |
Genre | : Humor |
ISBN | : 1452153671 |
Artist Frida Clements playfully combines colorfully detailed flora and fauna drawings with funny hand-lettered wordplay in this collection of beautifully illustrated puns. Honey, bee yourself! Gopher it. Don't be koi. Like puns? That's coo, says the pigeon. Hate puns? Birch, please. Bringing a giggle (and sometimes a groan) with each inspired page, this clever ebook makes a lovely and lighthearted gift for fans of witty humor and illustration. Having a bad hare day? Feeling a little antsy? What the hail, just dill with it, and for fox sake, have a little pun.
Author | : Gary Delaney |
Publisher | : Headline |
Total Pages | : 118 |
Release | : 2020-10-01 |
Genre | : Humor |
ISBN | : 1472277449 |
'For a collection of good old-fashioned gags, it's one of the best out there, a rich buffet of inventive wordplay that's best savoured a little at a time to fully appreciate the joy of these perfectly-constructed morsels. For original, hilarious gags you'll want to share, this is the real deal.' - Chortle 'A rollicking joyride. . . Pundamentalist has puns for the whole family: rude ones, daft ones, deft ones, stinkers and absolute belters.' - British Comedy Guide Gary Delaney, one-liner extraordinaire, has appeared on shows like Mock the Week and written for the likes of Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford, and James Corden. Now, for the first time, comes the first collection of his finest jokes. Featuring the likes of: Garden centres can't reopen fast enough for me, I've been living on borrowed thyme. We can't even afford a garden, so when my girlfriend bought us a trampoline I hit the roof. Sure everyone cares about straws killing dolphins now, but they've been breaking camels' backs for years. Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, which explains why Prince Andrew is so stupid. Sad news: The British simile champion has died. We shall not see his like again. My mom doesn't trust my dad's secretary. I asked her why, and she just said 'I've seen her type before'. Today someone told me that I look good with a salt 'n' pepper beard, so I took that as a condiment. My French pen friend just said 'Le Monde', which means the world to me. Can anyone tell me what FOMO stands for? Everyone else seems to know. Actors have got Equity, Magicians have got the Magic Circle, but it's a shame ventriloquists don't have anyone to speak for them. Does anyone know if it's safe to dye your pubes? It's a bit of a grey area. And make sure you look out for Gary's next book, about Stockholm Syndrome: it starts off badly but by the end you'll really enjoy it . . .
Author | : |
Publisher | : |
Total Pages | : 240 |
Release | : 1910 |
Genre | : Mineral industries |
ISBN | : |
Author | : |
Publisher | : |
Total Pages | : 242 |
Release | : 1910 |
Genre | : Mineral industries |
ISBN | : |
Author | : Tucker Max |
Publisher | : Citadel |
Total Pages | : 537 |
Release | : 2012-03-01 |
Genre | : Humor |
ISBN | : 0806535938 |
The “highly entertaining and thoroughly reprehensible” #1 New York Times bestseller—now with sixteen pages of photos and a new introduction (The New York Times). My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world. --from the Introduction Actual reader feedback: "I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don’t believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist." "I’ll stay with God as my lord, but you are my savior. I just finished reading your brilliant stories, and I laughed so hard I almost vomited. I want to bring that kind of joy to people. You’re an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot. I'm in both shock and awe at how much I want to be you."