Seriously...I'm Kidding

Seriously...I'm Kidding
Author: Ellen DeGeneres
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Total Pages: 146
Release: 2011-10-04
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 0446585033

~b~>With the winning, upbeat candor that has made her show on of the most popular and honored daytime shows on the air, beloved talk show host and comedian Ellen DeGeneres shares her views on life, love, and American Idol. "I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?" Seriously... I'm Kidding is a lively, hilarious, and often sweetly poignant look at the life of the much-loved entertainer as she opens up about her personal life, her talk show, and more. PRAISE FOR Seriously... I'm Kidding "DeGeneres's amiably oddball riffs on everything from kale to catwalks to Jesus will make fans smile." -- People "Whatever the topic, DeGeneres's compulsively readable style will appeal to fans old and new." - Publishers Weekly "Fans will not be disappointed...[DeGeneres's] trademark wit and openness shine through and through." -- Kirkus/DIVspan

Insignificant Events in the Life of a Cactus

Insignificant Events in the Life of a Cactus
Author: Dusti Bowling
Publisher: Union Square & Co.
Total Pages: 204
Release: 2017-09-05
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 1454923466

“Aven is a perky, hilarious, and inspiring protagonist whose attitude and humor will linger even after the last page has turned.” —School Library Journal (Starred review) Aven Green loves to tell people that she lost her arms in an alligator wrestling match, or a wildfire in Tanzania, but the truth is she was born without them. And when her parents take a job running Stagecoach Pass, a rundown western theme park in Arizona, Aven moves with them across the country knowing that she’ll have to answer the question over and over again. Her new life takes an unexpected turn when she bonds with Connor, a classmate who also feels isolated because of his own disability, and they discover a room at Stagecoach Pass that holds bigger secrets than Aven ever could have imagined. It’s hard to solve a mystery, help a friend, and face your worst fears. But Aven’s about to discover she can do it all . . . even without arms. Autumn 2017 Kids’ Indie Next Pick Junior Library Guild Selection Library of Congress's 52 Great Reads List 2018

Eat Sleep Bowling Repeat

Eat Sleep Bowling Repeat
Author: Notebook Publishing
Publisher:
Total Pages: 120
Release: 2020-01-24
Genre:
ISBN:

This Notebook is perfect for any Bowling Lovers And Fans. A luxurious feel with White Pages and a matte finish. A great gift for someone special or of course yourself. This Sport notebook is a perfect is the best choice for your friend or coworker! This is the perfect and inexpensive gift for Valentine's Day, birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas or any special occasion. This notebook will be a great gift for coworkers, boss, business woman, family or friends. This is a perfect journal for you to take to your meetings. It will give everyone a big laugh. Features: Size: 6" x 9" (15.24 x 22.86 cm) Pages: 120 sturdy pages Perfect for gel pen, ink or pencils Great size to carry everywhere in your bag, for work, high school, college Suitable for taking notes, writing, organizing, goal setting, doodling, drawing, lists, journaling and brainstorming Personalized notebooks and journals make a great functional gift for any occasion Makes a great Christmas, birthday, graduation or beginning of the school year gift for Women and Girls Perfect for personal use, or for your whole office. Get yours today! Be sure to check the Notebook Sports Publishing page for more styles, designs, sizes and other options.

Mommy Cusses

Mommy Cusses
Author: Dorman Serena
Publisher: Chronicle Books
Total Pages: 114
Release: 2021-06-25
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1797206249

For fans of Go the F*ck to Sleep, Mommy Cusses is a hilarious novelty parenting book full of tell-it-like-it-is quotes, snarky lists, and too-true anecdotes that will resonate with new moms everywhere. For new-ish mothers who need to laugh at the absurdity of parenting so they don't cry, who are looking for a we're-in-this-together sense of solidarity, and who don't have time to read a "real" book, here is a hilarious and highly relatable collection of mom malarkey. There are real-talk quotes, helpful lists (such as "How to Look Like You Have Your Act Together"), "mom-tivities," and quizzes, all delivered with a healthy dose of sarcasm. Packaged in a handy trim size with colorful illustrations throughout, Mommy Cusses is the perfect gift for moms and moms-to-be who need some comic relief. • GREAT GIFT: Mommy Cusses is super relatable and laugh-out-loud funny, making it an easy gift for Mother's Day or a baby shower, or an anytime gift for a parent. • PERENNIAL TOPIC: It doesn't take long to experience all the ups and downs of parenting. Mommy Cusses features timeless mommy humor that won't go out of style and a fresh look and feel that speaks to young parents. Perfect for: • Expectant parents and parents of children under 5 • Shoppers looking for a baby shower or Mother's Day gift for a friend, spouse, or daughter • Followers of the Mommy Cusses blog or Instagram account

Crafty Chloe

Crafty Chloe
Author: Kelly DiPucchio
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 43
Release: 2012-02-21
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 1442421231

Chloe is very good at sewing and crafts and when her best friend's birthday approaches, she not only creates a fabulous gift, she also saves the day for a classmate who had been unkind to her.

Encyclopedia of Ethical Failure

Encyclopedia of Ethical Failure
Author: Department of Defense
Publisher:
Total Pages: 156
Release: 2009-12-31
Genre:
ISBN: 9781452863467

The Standards of Conduct Office of the Department of Defense General Counsel's Office has assembled an "encyclopedia" of cases of ethical failure for use as a training tool. These are real examples of Federal employees who have intentionally or unwittingly violated standards of conduct. Some cases are humorous, some sad, and all are real. Some will anger you as a Federal employee and some will anger you as an American taxpayer. Note the multiple jail and probation sentences, fines, employment terminations and other sanctions that were taken as a result of these ethical failures. Violations of many ethical standards involve criminal statutes. This updated (end of 2009) edition is organized by type of violations, including conflicts of interest, misuse of Government equipment, violations of post-employment restrictions, and travel.

Al Capone Does My Shirts

Al Capone Does My Shirts
Author: Gennifer Choldenko
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 290
Release: 2006-04-20
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 1440629633

The Newbery Honor Book and New York Times Bestseller that is historical fiction with a hint of mystery about living at Alcatraz not as a prisoner, but as a kid meeting some of the most famous criminals in our history. Al Capone Does My Shirts has become an instant classic for all kids to read! Today I moved to Alcatraz, a twelve-acre rock covered with cement, topped with bird turd and surrounded by water. I'm not the only kid who lives here. There are twenty-three other kids who live on the island because their dads work as guards or cooks or doctors or electricians for the prison, like my dad does. And then there are a ton of murderers, rapists, hit men, con men, stickup men, embezzlers, connivers, burglars, kidnappers and maybe even an innocent man or two, though I doubt it. The convicts we have are the kind other prisons don't want. I never knew prisons could be picky, but I guess they can. You get to Alcatraz by being the worst of the worst. Unless you're me. I came here because my mother said I had to. A Newbery Honor Book A New York Times Bestseller A People magazine "Best kid's Book" An ALA Book for Young Adults An ALA Notable Book A School Library Journal Best Book of the Year A Krikus Reviews Editor's Choice A San Francisco Chronicle Best Book of the Year A Publishers Weekly Best Book of the Year A Parents' Choice Silver Honor Book A New York Public Library "100 Titles for Reading and Sharing" Selection A New York Public Library Best Book for the Teen Age *"Choldenko's pacing is exquisite. . . . [A] great read."—Kirkus Reviews, starred review *"Exceptionally atmospheric, fast-paced and memorable!"—Publishers Weekly, starred review *"The story, told with humor and skill, will fascinate readers."—School Library Journal, starred review "Al is the perfect novel for a young guy or moll who digs books by Gordon Korman, or Louis Sachar."—Time Out New York for Kids "Funny situations and plot twists abound!"—People magazine "Heartstopping in some places, heartrending in others, and most of all, it is heartwarming."—San Francisco Chronicle

Search for Senna

Search for Senna
Author: Katherine Applegate
Publisher: Scholastic Paperbacks
Total Pages: 208
Release: 1999
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 9780590877435

When David's girlfriend Senna is swallowed up by the Earth, he and his friends follow to save her, only to stumble upon a nightmarish land they could have never imagined. Original.

Science And Human Behavior

Science And Human Behavior
Author: B.F Skinner
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 484
Release: 2012-12-18
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 1476716153

The psychology classic—a detailed study of scientific theories of human nature and the possible ways in which human behavior can be predicted and controlled—from one of the most influential behaviorists of the twentieth century and the author of Walden Two. “This is an important book, exceptionally well written, and logically consistent with the basic premise of the unitary nature of science. Many students of society and culture would take violent issue with most of the things that Skinner has to say, but even those who disagree most will find this a stimulating book.” —Samuel M. Strong, The American Journal of Sociology “This is a remarkable book—remarkable in that it presents a strong, consistent, and all but exhaustive case for a natural science of human behavior…It ought to be…valuable for those whose preferences lie with, as well as those whose preferences stand against, a behavioristic approach to human activity.” —Harry Prosch, Ethics

The Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Book Three: Titan's Curse

The Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Book Three: Titan's Curse
Author: Rick Riordan
Publisher: Disney-Hyperion
Total Pages: 328
Release: 2007-05
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN:

In this third book of the acclaimed series, Percy and his friends are escorting two new half-bloods safely to camp when they are intercepted by a manticore and learn that the goddess Artemis has been kidnapped.