Catch That and Paint it Purple: A Complete Guide to Farting

Catch That and Paint it Purple: A Complete Guide to Farting
Author: P. J. Whitehill
Publisher: Lulu.com
Total Pages: 52
Release: 2008-07-17
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1435734424

This is the only book on the subject of farting you will ever need - or probably want. Farts are a fascinating phenomenon on many levels. A fart can be funny, repulsive, embarrassing, rude, or even dastardly (in the case of a silent one). Farts can also provoke a variety of reactions. Some will laugh, some will be indignant, and other people will simply stop coming around. But the undeniable truth about farting is that everybody does it. Yes, even women.

Fart Wars

Fart Wars
Author: Todd Goldman
Publisher:
Total Pages: 176
Release: 2021-01-30
Genre:
ISBN:

In the year 2099, on a planet fart, fart away...the seventh planet from our sun AND the gassiest planet in our solar system, the only planet with the word anus, as in butthole, in its name, yes on Uranus, trouble brewed between kindly King Butthole and the evil Fart Vader, leader of the Dark Side of the Farts. Humanity has colonized much of the solar system and in order to survive the super cold temperatures on Uranus, people built their cities under giant domes. Unfortunately, the air under these domes was always full of methane gas, booty fuel, butt petrol, oh let's just say it: FARTS! Yes, farts. Smelly, nasty, farts. Our story begins one stinky day, well they were all stinky, shortly before the Spring dance at Shartsville Middle School...

Fart Club

Fart Club
Author: Angus Beeftickle
Publisher:
Total Pages: 94
Release: 2015-12-12
Genre:
ISBN: 9780692540879

Angus Beeftickle, MD, has an emission mission. The brave doctor seeks to break down one of polite society's longest-standing taboos: He would return the fart to its rightful place. To let one fly in public is Beeftickle's dream. To toot on public transit. To play the intestinal tuba in elevators. To let the comic potential of a well-timed rip bring us together as brothers and sisters in a sonorous choir of nether horns. To share in an activity as old as time. In Fart Club, Beeftickle guides you through the wonderful world of flatulence. Explore how your body produces, transports, and releases gas; learn where and when to deploy your dirty bombs for best effect; and discover the food that maximizes your gaseous potential. Beeftickle even offers carefully crafted fart recipes-culinary offerings with delightfully colonic consequences. The rectal trumpets shall sound proudly from the college classroom to the high-class art museum. We will not be constrained. We will reclaim the right to play sweet butt-music where and when we get the urge. Let the world tremble at our gas-powered cacophonies. Let the self-righteous sneer and the timid faint. Let loose your intestinal orchestra, and fart with pride!

Emergency Response Guidebook

Emergency Response Guidebook
Author: U.S. Department of Transportation
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 352
Release: 2013-06-03
Genre: House & Home
ISBN: 1626363765

Does the identification number 60 indicate a toxic substance or a flammable solid, in the molten state at an elevated temperature? Does the identification number 1035 indicate ethane or butane? What is the difference between natural gas transmission pipelines and natural gas distribution pipelines? If you came upon an overturned truck on the highway that was leaking, would you be able to identify if it was hazardous and know what steps to take? Questions like these and more are answered in the Emergency Response Guidebook. Learn how to identify symbols for and vehicles carrying toxic, flammable, explosive, radioactive, or otherwise harmful substances and how to respond once an incident involving those substances has been identified. Always be prepared in situations that are unfamiliar and dangerous and know how to rectify them. Keeping this guide around at all times will ensure that, if you were to come upon a transportation situation involving hazardous substances or dangerous goods, you will be able to help keep others and yourself out of danger. With color-coded pages for quick and easy reference, this is the official manual used by first responders in the United States and Canada for transportation incidents involving dangerous goods or hazardous materials.

These Precious Days

These Precious Days
Author: Ann Patchett
Publisher: HarperCollins
Total Pages: 320
Release: 2021-11-23
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 0063092808

The beloved New York Times bestselling author reflects on home, family, friendships and writing in this deeply personal collection of essays. "The elegance of Patchett’s prose is seductive and inviting: with Patchett as a guide, readers will really get to grips with the power of struggles, failures, and triumphs alike." —Publisher's Weekly “Any story that starts will also end.” As a writer, Ann Patchett knows what the outcome of her fiction will be. Life, however, often takes turns we do not see coming. Patchett ponders this truth in these wise essays that afford a fresh and intimate look into her mind and heart. At the center of These Precious Days is the title essay, a surprising and moving meditation on an unexpected friendship that explores “what it means to be seen, to find someone with whom you can be your best and most complete self.” When Patchett chose an early galley of actor and producer Tom Hanks’ short story collection to read one night before bed, she had no idea that this single choice would be life changing. It would introduce her to a remarkable woman—Tom’s brilliant assistant Sooki—with whom she would form a profound bond that held monumental consequences for them both. A literary alchemist, Patchett plumbs the depths of her experiences to create gold: engaging and moving pieces that are both self-portrait and landscape, each vibrant with emotion and rich in insight. Turning her writer’s eye on her own experiences, she transforms the private into the universal, providing us all a way to look at our own worlds anew, and reminds how fleeting and enigmatic life can be. From the enchantments of Kate DiCamillo’s children’s books (author of The Beatryce Prophecy) to youthful memories of Paris; the cherished life gifts given by her three fathers to the unexpected influence of Charles Schultz’s Snoopy; the expansive vision of Eudora Welty to the importance of knitting, Patchett connects life and art as she illuminates what matters most. Infused with the author’s grace, wit, and warmth, the pieces in These Precious Days resonate deep in the soul, leaving an indelible mark—and demonstrate why Ann Patchett is one of the most celebrated writers of our time.

The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness

The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness
Author: Florence Hartley
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
Total Pages: 356
Release: 1872
Genre: Education
ISBN:

In preparing a book of etiquette for ladies, I would lay down as the first rule, "Do unto others as you would others should do to you." You can never be rude if you bear the rule always in mind, for what lady likes to be treated rudely? True Christian politeness will always be the result of an unselfish regard for the feelings of others, and though you may err in the ceremonious points of etiquette, you will never be impolite. Politeness, founded upon such a rule, becomes the expression, in graceful manner, of social virtues. The spirit of politeness consists in a certain attention to forms and ceremonies, which are meant both to please others and ourselves, and to make others pleased with us; a still clearer definition may be given by saying that politeness is goodness of heart put into daily practice; there can be no _true_ politeness without kindness, purity, singleness of heart, and sensibility.

Historical Painting Techniques, Materials, and Studio Practice

Historical Painting Techniques, Materials, and Studio Practice
Author: Arie Wallert
Publisher: Getty Publications
Total Pages: 241
Release: 1995-08-24
Genre: Art
ISBN: 0892363223

Bridging the fields of conservation, art history, and museum curating, this volume contains the principal papers from an international symposium titled "Historical Painting Techniques, Materials, and Studio Practice" at the University of Leiden in Amsterdam, Netherlands, from June 26 to 29, 1995. The symposium—designed for art historians, conservators, conservation scientists, and museum curators worldwide—was organized by the Department of Art History at the University of Leiden and the Art History Department of the Central Research Laboratory for Objects of Art and Science in Amsterdam. Twenty-five contributors representing museums and conservation institutions throughout the world provide recent research on historical painting techniques, including wall painting and polychrome sculpture. Topics cover the latest art historical research and scientific analyses of original techniques and materials, as well as historical sources, such as medieval treatises and descriptions of painting techniques in historical literature. Chapters include the painting methods of Rembrandt and Vermeer, Dutch 17th-century landscape painting, wall paintings in English churches, Chinese paintings on paper and canvas, and Tibetan thangkas. Color plates and black-and-white photographs illustrate works from the Middle Ages to the 20th century.

The Color Purple

The Color Purple
Author: Alice Walker
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2023-08-01
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 0735248753

The inspiration for the new film adaptation of the Tony-winning Broadway musical Alice Walker’s iconic modern classic, and winner of the Pulitzer Prize and the National Book Award A powerful cultural touchstone of modern literature, The Color Purple depicts the lives of African American women in early twentieth-century rural Georgia. Separated as girls, sisters Celie and Nettie sustain their loyalty to and hope in each other across time, distance, and silence. Through a series of letters spanning twenty years, first from Celie to God, then the sisters to each other despite the unknown, the novel draws readers into its rich and memorable portrayals of Celie, Nettie, Shug Avery and Sofia and their experience. The Color Purple broke the silence around domestic and sexual abuse, narrating the lives of women through their pain and struggle, companionship and growth, resilience and bravery. Deeply compassionate and beautifully imagined, Alice Walker's epic carries readers on a spirit-affirming journey toward redemption and love.

Flipped

Flipped
Author: Wendelin Van Draanen
Publisher: Ember
Total Pages: 259
Release: 2003-05-13
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
ISBN: 0375825444

A classic he-said-she-said romantic comedy! This updated anniversary edition offers story-behind-the-story revelations from author Wendelin Van Draanen. The first time she saw him, she flipped. The first time he saw her, he ran. That was the second grade, but not much has changed by the seventh. Juli says: “My Bryce. Still walking around with my first kiss.” He says: “It’s been six years of strategic avoidance and social discomfort.” But in the eighth grade everything gets turned upside down: just as Bryce is thinking that there’s maybe more to Juli than meets the eye, she’s thinking that he’s not quite all he seemed. This is a classic romantic comedy of errors told in alternating chapters by two fresh, funny voices. The updated anniversary edition contains 32 pages of extra backmatter: essays from Wendelin Van Draanen on her sources of inspiration, on the making of the movie of Flipped, on why she’ll never write a sequel, and a selection of the amazing fan mail she’s received. Awards and accolades for Flipped: SLJ Top 100 Children’s Novels of all time IRA-CBC Children’s Choice IRA Teacher’s Choice Honor winner, Judy Lopez Memorial Award/WNBA Winner of the California Young Reader Medal “We flipped over this fantastic book, its gutsy girl Juli and its wise, wonderful ending.” — The Chicago Tribune “Van Draanen has another winner in this eighth-grade ‘he-said, she-said’ romance. A fast, funny, egg-cellent winner.” — SLJ, Starred review “With a charismatic leading lady kids will flip over, a compelling dynamic between the two narrators and a resonant ending, this novel is a great deal larger than the sum of its parts.” —Publishers Weekly, Starred review

What Was I Scared Of?

What Was I Scared Of?
Author: Dr. Seuss
Publisher: Random House Books for Young Readers
Total Pages: 33
Release: 2009-08-11
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 0375853421

Readers of all ages love Dr. Seuss's spooky and silly story about facing your fears! Featuring over 50 special glow-in-the-dark bonus stickers and a luxe, gift-worthy cover that glows in the dark and has a matte "soft-touch" finish! I was deep within the woods When, suddenly, I spied them. I saw a pair of pale green pants With nobody inside them! What's a pair of empty green trousers doing by itself in the woods? Or riding a bike through town? The narrator of What Was I Scared Of? does not want to find out. The spooky pants give him the creeps! This Seussian gem from The Sneetches and Other Stories shines on its own as it delivers a timeless message about fear and tolerance. Perfect for slumber parties and perusal by flashlight--it comes with a sheet of spooky glowing stickers bound inside as an added bonus!