Bertie's Guide to Life and Mothers

Bertie's Guide to Life and Mothers
Author: Alexander McCall Smith
Publisher: Anchor
Total Pages: 321
Release: 2015-02-17
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 0804170010

Alexander McCall Smith's wildly popular 44 Scotland Street series chronicles life in a corner of Edinburgh brimming with wit and humor. Newlywed painter and sometime somnambulist Angus Lordie might be sleepwalking his way into trouble with Animal Welfare when he lets his dog Cyril drink a bit too much lager at the local bar. The longsuffering Bertie, on the cusp of his seventh birthday party, has taken to dreaming about his eighteenth, a time when he will be able to avoid the indignity of unwanted girl attendees and the looming threat of a gender-neutral doll from his domineering mother Irene. Matthew and Elspeth struggle to care for their triplets, contending with Danish au pairs and dubious dukes to boot, while the narcissistic Bruce faces his greatest challenge yet in the form of an over-eager waxologist. As ever, when Alexander McCall Smith visits 44 Scotland Street, fun is sure to follow.

Happy Birthday, Bertie!

Happy Birthday, Bertie!
Author: Marcus Pfister
Publisher: NorthSouth (NY)
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2010
Genre: Birthday parties
ISBN: 9780735822801

A young hippo prepares for his birthday party by taking a bath, stirring the batter for the cake his Daddy bakes, and putting up decorations, all the while longing for his gift from his father. His friends--a rhino, an alligator, and a bear--arrive with presents. They play a game of hide-and-seek, during which Bertie manages to sneak a bit of cake and look at the gifts and Daddy searches high and low for the present he hid too well. Bear slips from his hiding place on top of a cupboard, bringing down the decorations and Daddy's misplaced gift. Full color.

Bertie Rides Again

Bertie Rides Again
Author: Rosalind James
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
Total Pages: 126
Release: 2012-07-12
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 1477122737

Let your kids hop on to another set of amazing adventures with Bertie Bunny! An aptly titled sequel,Bertie Rides Againfollows adorable Bertie on some of his most exciting adventures yet. One page after another, readers get to see what Bertie is up to; he hops to the fire station, visits the farm, he goes camping, goes to the circus, attends a wedding and swims at the pool! Furthermore, Bertie gets to meet and gain new friends. He meets mice, the seagull, and most importantly, Thomas Cat! Peppered with moral lessons, each story ofBertie Rides Againfuels young readers imagination and reminds older readers of the beauty of being a child.

Bertie Bunny at Home and Abroad

Bertie Bunny at Home and Abroad
Author: Rosalind James
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
Total Pages: 92
Release: 2012-11
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1479743003

Bertie Bunny was lying in bed one bright sunny morning with Alfie, his beloved teddy bear tucked securely under his arm. Bertie's nostrils twitched excitedly as they detected the smell of food, in this case baking coming from the kitchen. Bertie threw poor Alfie aside as he leapt out of bed and pulled on his dressing gown and slippers. Alfie lay in a heap on the floor as Bertie flew down the corridor to the kitchen and towards the smell of baking that was coming from it. When Bertie reached the kitchen, mum was nearly up to her elbows in flour and was kneading the dough for bread rolls and splits as part of her preparations for this afternoon's tea party. She had invited some of her friends over for a girly afternoon of reminiscing about the olden days when they were young. Unfortunately mum had been unable to employ someone to look after Bertie so he would be sitting in on the tea party, a thought that filled mum with absolute dread. Bertie scampered across the kitchen and clambered up onto an area of the work surface that did not have flour on it. At the corner of his eye Bertie espied three bowls of butter cream. One was ordinary butter cream for the butterfly buns which had just come out of the oven, one had coffee flavouring and one had chocolate butter cream. The last two were for two sponge cakes that were cooling on a couple of racks nearby. Bertie stretched out his paw and was about to dip it in one of the bowls when he felt a sharp slap on his paw. Mum had seen a beige furry paw coming towards one of her mixing bowls, knowing whose it was she reached out just in time to prevent Bertie from dipping a paw or two into the icing. Bertie squealed as he withdrew his paw and rubbed it. Mum had hurt him and he did not like it. Gently, mum lifted Bertie down from the worktop and urged him to take his bath. After wiping her floury hands, she ran his bath and laid out his clothes in the bedroom. She felt sorry for Alfie who was still lying on the floor where Bertie had left him. She picked his bear up, made his bed and tidied up and then went back to prepare Bertie's breakfast. Meanwhile, Bertie was laying in his bath, telling Fred, his duck, about the day that was to come and how he was looking forward to eating the tea that mum was in the midst of preparing. Mum was still baking when Bertie having had his bath, came out for his breakfast. Mum had made the bread rolls and splits and was now preparing sausage rolls and vol au vents. Bertie's mouth watered and when he had eaten his boiled egg and soldiers, Bertie begged to be allowed to help with the tea party. Gently, mum advised that it might be better if Bertie went outside to play, but warned him not to get dirty. Bertie played with his football and dreamed that he was scoring in the World Cup Finals. As he played, he gave a running commentary to anyone who was listening, unfortunately there was no-one there but Bertie did not care, he was having such a good time. In the midst of his numerous celebrations after scoring a classic goal, Bertie heard his mother calling him. Obediently Bertie trotted inside. Mum had iced the cakes and sponges which left the mixing bowls with the leftover butter creams. Now licking out bowls was right up his street. Bertie virtually climbed inside the bowls to ensure that every last scrape was out of them. When he had finished, he was covered in butter cream of all flavours from the tips of his ears to the ends of his feet. Bertie was filthy. Mum was far from happy as she stripped Bertie of his clothing and placed him in his second bath of the morning. His shorts and tee shirt were placed straight in the wash and a fresh towel was laid out for him to dry himself. Mum searched out another set of shorts and a tee shirt whilst Bertie smiled as he lay once again in the bath with Fred. Meanwhile mum had finished all the baking and had placed the food under cloths ready to bring down to the lounge l

Bernie & Bertie (Serial Killers Need Love Too)

Bernie & Bertie (Serial Killers Need Love Too)
Author: Mike Owens
Publisher: The Wild Rose Press Inc
Total Pages: 235
Release: 2020-09-02
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1509232737

They looked alike, dressed alike, shared the same food preferences, finished one another's sentences. What were the chances that in a world where opposites attract and likes repel, two people so similar in every way, including their successful careers as serial killers would meet, fall in love and form one of the deadliest duos ever? Bernie and Bertie did just that, and this is their story.

The Bertie Project

The Bertie Project
Author: Alexander McCall Smith
Publisher: Anchor
Total Pages: 318
Release: 2017-02-07
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 0525433015

Our beloved cast of characters are back, as are the joys and trials of life at 44 Scotland Street in this latest installment of Alexander McCall Smith’s delightfully charming series. Bertie’s mother, Irene, returns from the Middle East to discover that, in her absence, her son has been exposed to the worst of evils—television shows, ice cream parlors, and even unsanctioned art at the National Portrait Gallery. Her wrath descends on Bertie’s long-suffering father, Stuart. But Stuart has found a reason to spend more time outside of the house and seems to have a new spring in his step. What does this mean for the residents of 44 Scotland Street? The winds of change have come to the others as well. Angus undergoes a spiritual transformation after falling victim to an unexpected defenestration. Bruce has fallen in a rather different sense for a young woman who is determined to share with him her enthusiasm for extreme sports. Matthew and Elspeth have a falling out with their triplets’ au pair, while Big Lou continues to fall in love with her new role as a mother. And as Irene resumes work on what she calls her Bertie Project, reinstating Bertie’s Italian lessons, yoga classes, and psychotherapy, Bertie begins to hatch a project of his own—one that promises freedom.