At Home with Grief

At Home with Grief
Author: Blake Paxton
Publisher: Routledge
Total Pages: 227
Release: 2018-01-19
Genre: Social Science
ISBN: 1351714503

What would you say to a deceased loved one if they could come back for one day? What if you can’t just ‘move on’ from grief? At Home with Grief: Continued Bonds with the Deceased chronicles Blake Paxton’s autoethnographic study of his continued relationship with his deceased mother. In the 90s, Silverman, Klass, and Nickman argued that after the death of a loved one, the bond does not have to be broken and the bereaved can find many ways to connect with memories of the dead. Building on their work, many other bereavement scholars have discussed the importance of not treating these relationships as pathological and have suggested that more research is needed in this area of grief studies. However, very few studies have addressed the communal and everyday subjective experiences of continuing bonds with the deceased, as well as how our relationship with our grief changes in the long term. In this book, Blake Paxton shows how a community in southern Illinois continues a relationship with one deceased individual more than ten years after her death. Through this gripping autoethnographic account of his mother’s struggles with a rare cancer, her death, and his struggles with sexuality, he poses possibilities of what might happen when cultural prescriptions for grief are challenged, and how continuing bonds with the dead may help us continue or restore broken bonds with the living.

Home Made

Home Made
Author: Liz Hauck
Publisher: Dial Press Trade Paperback
Total Pages: 417
Release: 2022-09-13
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 0525512454

NEW YORK TIMES EDITORS’ CHOICE • An “extraordinary” (The New York Times Book Review) tender and vivid memoir about the radical grace we discover when we consider ourselves bound together in community, and a moving account of one woman’s attempt to answer the essential question Who are we to one another? “Your heart will be altered by this book.”—Gregory Boyle, S.J., New York Times bestselling author of Tattoos on the Heart Liz Hauck and her dad had a plan to start a weekly cooking program in a residential home for teenage boys in state care, which was run by the human services agency he co-directed. When her father died before they had a chance to get the project started, Liz decided she would try it without him. She didn’t know what to expect from volunteering with court-involved youth, but as a high school teacher she knew that teenagers are drawn to food-related activities, and as a daughter, she believed that if she and the kids made even a single dinner together she could check one box off her father’s long, unfinished to-do list. This is the story of what happened around the table, and how one dinner became one hundred dinners. “The kids picked the menus, I bought the groceries,” Liz writes, “and we cooked and ate dinner together for two hours a week for nearly three years. Sometimes improvisation in kitchens is disastrous. But sometimes, a combination of elements produces something spectacularly unexpected. I think that’s why, when we don’t know what else to do, we feed our neighbors.” Capturing the clumsy choreography of cooking with other people, this is a sharply observed story about the ways we behave when we are hungry and the conversations that happen at the intersections of flavor and memory, vulnerability and strength, grief and connection. NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY SHE READS

A Last Goodbye

A Last Goodbye
Author: Elin Kelsey
Publisher: Owlkids
Total Pages: 32
Release: 2020-04-15
Genre: Juvenile Nonfiction
ISBN: 9781771473644

A compassionate exploration of all the ways animals, including humans, grieve

Grief Isn't Something to Get Over

Grief Isn't Something to Get Over
Author: Mary C. Lamia
Publisher: American Psychological Association
Total Pages: 214
Release: 2022-04-05
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 1433837951

The loss of a loved one can be overwhelming. How do we endure grief? Can we simply forget, or "get over it?" This book explains the science behind bereavement, from emotion to the persistence of memory, and shows readers how to understand and adapt to death as a part of life. Responses to loss are typically associated with negative emotions, traumatic memories, or separation distress, but we grieve because we care. This book demonstrates how negative emotional responses experienced in grief often follow experiences with positive emotional memories. Dr. Lamia emphasizes an understanding and acceptance of post-loss emotions. Grief Isn't Something to Get Over aims to expand our understanding of bereavement, placing it in alignment with how emotions work. Using numerous case examples and personal vignettes, this book helps readers recognize the ways in which emotions are connected to memories and influence our experiences of loss.

Continuing Bonds

Continuing Bonds
Author: Dennis Klass
Publisher: Taylor & Francis
Total Pages: 388
Release: 2014-05-12
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 1317763602

First published in 1996. This new book gives voice to an emerging consensus among bereavement scholars that our understanding of the grief process needs to be expanded. The dominant 20th century model holds that the function of grief and mourning is to cut bonds with the deceased, thereby freeing the survivor to reinvest in new relationships in the present. Pathological grief has been defined in terms of holding on to the deceased. Close examination reveals that this model is based more on the cultural values of modernity than on any substantial data of what people actually do. Presenting data from several populations, 22 authors - among the most respected in their fields - demonstrate that the health resolution of grief enables one to maintain a continuing bond with the deceased. Despite cultural disapproval and lack of validation by professionals, survivors find places for the dead in their on-going lives and even in their communities. Such bonds are not denial: the deceased can provide resources for enriched functioning in the present. Chapters examine widows and widowers, bereaved children, parents and siblings, and a population previously excluded from bereavement research: adoptees and their birth parents. Bereavement in Japanese culture is also discussed, as are meanings and implications of this new model of grief. Opening new areas of research and scholarly dialogue, this work provides the basis for significant developments in clinical practice in the field.

Lead Me Home:

Lead Me Home:
Author: Carleen Brice
Publisher: Harper Perennial
Total Pages: 192
Release: 1999-11-09
Genre: Social Science
ISBN: 9780380796083

When a loved one dies, we embark on a journey that is marked by anguish, confusion, fear, and loneliness. For African Americans, the grief journeys often includes more complicated and painful emotions: frustration with the knowledge that black men and women have a greater chance of dying from major common diseases than their white counterparts; anger at the frequency of drug- and violence-related deaths; and the collective grief of a community that has buried too many of its young people. In Lead Me Home, Carleen Brice gently guides you through the strange terrain of grief to the promise of home-a place where we have not only survived our losses, but are wiser and stronger because of them. She shares her personal story of loss and recovery, as well as the stories of others, so that you will know you are not alone. Here are practical tips for making difficult passage, as well as spiritual inspiration for helping you hang on until you make it to welcoming shores.

Silent Grief

Silent Grief
Author: Clara Hinton
Publisher: New Leaf Publishing Group
Total Pages: 159
Release: 1998-02
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 089221371X

Almost 200,000 couples in America each year suffer through the tragedy of miscarriage. And that statistic only tells us about first trimester miscarriages. The emotional pain of longer-term miscarriages, and the untold numbers of mothers and fathers who keep silent about their hurt, make this form of child loss especially cruel.But in Silent Grief, author Clara Hinton brings a clear message of hope through the cold mourning. Writing of her own grief, and interviewing scores of women and men, she offers not pat answers, but instead show us this: You are not alone.

Verbal First Aid

Verbal First Aid
Author: Judith Simon Prager
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 289
Release: 2010-06-01
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1101188111

Words as Medicine What to say to your children to get them through the bumps, bruises, and crises of childhood. Falling off a bike, having a bad dream, getting stitches...sometimes a kiss isn't enough to make it all better. But what you say to your child in those first moments of pain or fear could make all the difference. Using techniques the authors have taught to doctors, nurses, and first responders, Verbal First Aid(tm) explains how words can be used to promote healing from burns, bruises, nightmares, asthma attacks, and more. It provides scripts and tips on how to short-circuit traumatic memories, sometimes just by speaking a sentence or two. This revolutionary book gives parents the responses they need to immediately stabilize their children's emotions. And these methods will build a foundation of confidence and inner strength that will help kids heal at the deepest level, and weather whatever hardships and difficulties they encounter throughout life.

Modern Loss

Modern Loss
Author: Rebecca Soffer
Publisher: HarperCollins
Total Pages: 313
Release: 2018-01-23
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 006249922X

Inspired by the website that the New York Times hailed as "redefining mourning," this book is a fresh and irreverent examination into navigating grief and resilience in the age of social media, offering comfort and community for coping with the mess of loss through candid original essays from a variety of voices, accompanied by gorgeous two-color illustrations and wry infographics. At a time when we mourn public figures and national tragedies with hashtags, where intimate posts about loss go viral and we receive automated birthday reminders for dead friends, it’s clear we are navigating new terrain without a road map. Let’s face it: most of us have always had a difficult time talking about death and sharing our grief. We’re awkward and uncertain; we avoid, ignore, or even deny feelings of sadness; we offer platitudes; we send sympathy bouquets whittled out of fruit. Enter Rebecca Soffer and Gabrielle Birkner, who can help us do better. Each having lost parents as young adults, they co-founded Modern Loss, responding to a need to change the dialogue around the messy experience of grief. Now, in this wise and often funny book, they offer the insights of the Modern Loss community to help us cry, laugh, grieve, identify, and—above all—empathize. Soffer and Birkner, along with forty guest contributors including Lucy Kalanithi, singer Amanda Palmer, and CNN’s Brian Stelter, reveal their own stories on a wide range of topics including triggers, sex, secrets, and inheritance. Accompanied by beautiful hand-drawn illustrations and witty "how to" cartoons, each contribution provides a unique perspective on loss as well as a remarkable life-affirming message. Brutally honest and inspiring, Modern Loss invites us to talk intimately and humorously about grief, helping us confront the humanity (and mortality) we all share. Beginners welcome.

The Smell of Rain on Dust

The Smell of Rain on Dust
Author: Martín Prechtel
Publisher: North Atlantic Books
Total Pages: 185
Release: 2015-04-14
Genre: Body, Mind & Spirit
ISBN: 1583949399

"Beautifully written and wise … [Martin Prechtel] offers stories that are precious and life-sustaining. Read carefully, and listen deeply."—Mary Oliver, National Book Award and Pulitzer Prize winner Inspiring hope, solace, and courage in living through our losses, author Martín Prechtel, trained in the Tzutujil Maya shamanic tradition, shares profound insights on the relationship between grief and praise in our culture--how the inability that many of us have to grieve and weep properly for the dead is deeply linked with the inability to give praise for living. In modern society, grief is something that we usually experience in private, alone, and without the support of a community. Yet, as Prechtel says, "Grief expressed out loud for someone we have lost, or a country or home we have lost, is in itself the greatest praise we could ever give them. Grief is praise, because it is the natural way love honors what it misses." Prechtel explains that the unexpressed grief prevalent in our society today is the reason for many of the social, cultural, and individual maladies that we are currently experiencing. According to Prechtel, "When you have two centuries of people who have not properly grieved the things that they have lost, the grief shows up as ghosts that inhabit their grandchildren." These "ghosts," he says, can also manifest as disease in the form of tumors, which the Maya refer to as "solidified tears," or in the form of behavioral issues and depression. He goes on to show how this collective, unexpressed energy is the long-held grief of our ancestors manifesting itself, and the work that can be done to liberate this energy so we can heal from the trauma of loss, war, and suffering. At base, this "little book," as the author calls it, can be seen as a companion of encouragement, a little extra light for those deep and noble parts in all of us.