An Old Farts Survival Guide

An Old Farts Survival Guide
Author: Ron Foster
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
Total Pages: 552
Release: 2018-11-21
Genre:
ISBN: 9781729813553

Survival tips written for (and by) "Old Farts" I decided to write down a bunch of timely woodlore tricks and preparedness advisement so they can be shared and remembered once more. Knowledge I have gained from a lifetime of prepping and preparing for disasters and how to live easier through hard times are explained within this book. I bet all of us aging seniors who are of the prepper mindset or of a survivalist bent, as well as many younger folks less knowledgeable, want to know about the same things we do regarding eating well and dying easier after a mega disaster. That is survival knowledge that we will need to know and rely on should the electrical grid ever go down and stay down. Considering just how unreliable all this newfangled technology can be and the fact that new threats are always appearing on the horizon, it is not a far stretch to say our dependency on technology is putting our very survival or daily existence in jeopardy. We need to try to get back to our old school mindsets now and learn more about the woods or country living that some of us may have forgotten about, or some of us never learned growing up to begin with. Whether or not you are just learning basic preparedness for the first time or remembering many an old camping trip or military deployment, there is plenty to learn here. The contents of this book will teach you long term survival and food procurement with and without, using anything but the cheapest gear best suited for the task. Even if you are on a strict fixed income and have a few minor physical disabilities' I have a plan for you and one that won't cost much at all to sustain you for a year or more. This book will teach you some awesome things like how to catch a fish with a twig, use nothing but a pencil sharpener to light a fire in wet woods and make a fish hook or animal trap, heat your house with the sun and a sewage line, open a can of food on the curb without a can opener, heat your house with a garbage bag, light a fire with a rain drop, defend yourself against a wild dog attack, spend a dollar on a tool that can feed you the rest of your life or spend a hundred dollars on a piece of gear that could feed you and your family for a year using common easy applicable food procurement skills in any suburban backyard or forested wood lot. You will learn the skills that some of us old timers who are still kicking around will use for surviving long term and would like to be taught to the next generation. Things that are good to know, like how to take a cardboard box, a baking bag, a piece of string and catch your own dinner, cook it and boil and purify water using those three items. This book will teach you more than a few things you might not know yet, but you should for old fart survival purposes! Let us try to outlive and out think them young heathens or at least hang around long enough to teach them a better way to survive themselves!

The Old Fart's Guide to Survival

The Old Fart's Guide to Survival
Author: Dawn Cawley
Publisher: Splendid Publications Limited
Total Pages: 55
Release: 2016-10-03
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1909109711

You might be getting on a bit but that doesn't mean life can't still be fun! Dawn Cawley, a paid-up member of The Old Fart's Club certainly isn't ready to be put out to pasture just yet and shares her tips and observations on life in the slow lane. From dealing with modern technology and grandkids to old friendships and going deaf, this quirky and humorous take on later life is a must-have survival guide for all the Old Farts who aim to grow old(er) disgracefully!

The Big Book of Farts

The Big Book of Farts
Author: James Carlisle
Publisher:
Total Pages: 102
Release: 2016-11-21
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 9781684182015

This wonderfully quirky, laugh out loud book is the PERFECT GIFT for FART lovers of all ages.

Preppers Road March

Preppers Road March
Author: Ron Foster
Publisher:
Total Pages: 174
Release: 2011-09
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 9781257834082

A solar storm has just hit the world causing a EMP event. A emergency manager visiting Atlanta GA must find his way back home after this electromagnetic pulse has stranded him away from his vehicle and his beloved "bug out bag." With 180 miles to go to his destination, David must let his street smarts and survival skills kick in as food and water becomes scarce and societal breakdown proceeds at an unrelenting pace. An interesting and often funny cast of characters from the Deep South helps the displaced Prepper on his way, as he shares his knowledge of how to make do with common items in order to live another day. Ultimately, he acquires an old tractor and heads for home on a car-littered interstate. This is book one of the Prepper Trilogy.

The Housewife Assassin's Relationship Survival Guide

The Housewife Assassin's Relationship Survival Guide
Author: Josie Brown
Publisher: Signal Press
Total Pages: 225
Release: 2013-04-05
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 0974021458

London. Paris. Guantánamo Bay. Donna Stone is looking for love--and terrorists--in all the wrong places. Worse yet, an old flame gets in the way of Donna's chance for true love. But she doesn't cry. She gets even.

Fart Club

Fart Club
Author: Angus Beeftickle
Publisher:
Total Pages: 94
Release: 2015-12-12
Genre:
ISBN: 9780692540879

Angus Beeftickle, MD, has an emission mission. The brave doctor seeks to break down one of polite society's longest-standing taboos: He would return the fart to its rightful place. To let one fly in public is Beeftickle's dream. To toot on public transit. To play the intestinal tuba in elevators. To let the comic potential of a well-timed rip bring us together as brothers and sisters in a sonorous choir of nether horns. To share in an activity as old as time. In Fart Club, Beeftickle guides you through the wonderful world of flatulence. Explore how your body produces, transports, and releases gas; learn where and when to deploy your dirty bombs for best effect; and discover the food that maximizes your gaseous potential. Beeftickle even offers carefully crafted fart recipes-culinary offerings with delightfully colonic consequences. The rectal trumpets shall sound proudly from the college classroom to the high-class art museum. We will not be constrained. We will reclaim the right to play sweet butt-music where and when we get the urge. Let the world tremble at our gas-powered cacophonies. Let the self-righteous sneer and the timid faint. Let loose your intestinal orchestra, and fart with pride!

How to Survive Divorce

How to Survive Divorce
Author: Anthea Turner
Publisher: Splendid Publications Limited
Total Pages: 162
Release: 2017-05-18
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1909109746

TV presenter Anthea Turner was devastated when her husband Grant Bovey left her for a woman young enough to be his daughter. Although both she and Grant had left their previous partners to be together, Anthea was convinced they had learned from their mistakes and were destined to grow old together. But when Grant cheated on her not once but twice, she knew she was wrong and heartbroken, she filed for divorce. How to Survive divorce is Anthea's candid account of the emotional toll the end of her marriage took on her well being and how she eventually came out of the ordeal, a stronger, more confident woman. This is a book which has been carefully researched and written and is full of helpful tips and real-life case studies. How to Survive Divorce aims to offer women who find themselves facing divorce - whether or not from choice - practical help and guidance in navigating what can be a legal and emotional minefield. From choosing the right lawyer to getting back in the dating game, this a must-have guide on how to survive divorce and come out the other side.

The Bug Out Gardening Guide: Growing Survival Garden Food When It Absolutely Matters

The Bug Out Gardening Guide: Growing Survival Garden Food When It Absolutely Matters
Author: Ron Foster
Publisher: Lulu.com
Total Pages: 358
Release: 2018-09-23
Genre: Gardening
ISBN: 9780359110308

What exactly is Bug Out Gardening? Having your own garden in your own back yard is great but what if you must evacuate and have to go to a remote location or start up a garden on a bunch of bad soil? Most Preppers have already realized that besides having dried foods stored foods for a disaster, one can also have fresh grown foods with a little effort supplementing their diets. This book will teach you how simple it can be to take along the materials with you to create a small survival garden. Learn to make your own DIY miracle grow and homemade insecticides and fertilizers! Learn about growing vegetables from scratch when it absolutely matters before you find the stores are all closed and that you lack basic materials. Envision a portable system of gardening that you can instantly create your homestead with or take along for a long-term bug out situation. Imagine that this system allows you to garden anywhere, compost anywhere and thrive everywhere.

Operating Instructions

Operating Instructions
Author: Anne Lamott
Publisher: Anchor
Total Pages: 273
Release: 2005-03-08
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1400079098

With the same brilliant combination of humor and warmth she brought to bestseller Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott gives us a smart, funny, and comforting chronicle of single motherhood. It’s not like she’s the only woman to ever have a baby. At thirty-five. On her own. But Anne Lamott makes it all fresh in her now-classic account of how she and her son and numerous friends and neighbors and some strangers survived and thrived in that all important first year. From finding out that her baby is a boy (and getting used to the idea) to finding out that her best friend and greatest supporter Pam will die of cancer (and not getting used to that idea), with a generous amount of wit and faith (but very little piousness), Lamott narrates the great and small events that make up a woman’s life. "Lamott has a conversational style that perfectly conveys her friendly, self-depricating humor." -- Los Angeles Times Book Review "Lamott is a wonderfully lithe writer .... Anyone who has ever had a hard time facing a perfectly ordinary day will identify." -- Chicago Tribune

The Action Hero's Handbook

The Action Hero's Handbook
Author: David Borgenicht
Publisher: Quirk Books
Total Pages: 196
Release: 2011-12-13
Genre: Reference
ISBN: 1594745854

Filled with action movie-inspired advice, this hilarious guide is the ultimate gag gift or stocking stuffer for anyone who wants to ‘keep up with the Indiana Joneses’ For everyone who’s ever wanted to be as smooth as James Bond, as clever as Captain Kirk, or as tough as Charlie’s Angels, The Action Hero’s Handbook is the ultimate guide to the essential skills every action hero needs to survive and thrive in this dangerous but exciting world. This book features dozens of real-life action hero techniques, directly from experts in the subjects at hand: FBI agents, sexologists, stuntmen, hypnotists, karate masters, criminologists, detectives, and many others. Learn how to: • Catch a great white shark • Deliver the Vulcan Nerve Pinch • Spyproof your hotel room • Win a fight when outnumbered • Climb down Mount Rushmore National Monument And dozens of other Good Guy Skills, Paranormal Skills, Fighting Skills, and Escape Skills. With meticulously researched step-by-step instructions and easy-to-follow illustrations, The Action Hero’s Handbook will get you ready for anything. Good luck—we’re all counting on you.