Childhood Nightmares and Adult Fears goes back to the beginning of not understanding what was really going on. The chilling, horrifying memory is our stepmother leaving to go find our biological mother to get us the help we needed to survive. All my life, he always told my siblings and me she was dead or in a mental home. This was an unbelievable shock, then we learned that our stepmother didn't make it to our mother. She was murdered. We didn't witness it. At the same time we learned the truth and much more. The horror of learning what I once didn't understand that our father was the perpetrator. My nightmare is a tall shadow of a man with a hat on his head carrying me naked in his arms as I sniffed and cried softly as he walks toward the bed. This tells me that something did happen. During my adulthood, my fear was always something going wrong when I allow unhealthy men into my life, and I walked into a road of destruction when I saw a sign in my mind that read "Welcome to the Fast Life." Everything that I would never do you could say it became my very own manifestation. I couldn't escape. This is my true story of how I struggled to succeed and survive my trauma never giving up on myself. 144