A Pinstriped Finger's My Only Friend

A Pinstriped Finger's My Only Friend
Author: Robert Jeschonek
Publisher: Robert Jeschonek
Total Pages: 347
Release: 2013-07-16
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 1301648485

Judd the popular 17-year-old jock has it all figured out. He's the star of his school, the top of the heap...but then the world starts changing around him and won't stop. Without explanation, everyone turns into purple furries...then gas-blasting puffballs...then neurotic lizards. Every time Judd falls asleep, he wakes up in a new and crazier world--a world of godlike super-teens, teenage serial killers, duck people, nudists, monsters, and more. It's like a twisted video game without rhyme or reason. The rules never stop changing, and the only thing he can depend on is his talking pinky finger with a major attitude. Together, he and Pinkerton (the finger prefers the name "Killdigit!") fight through the parade of crazy realities, seeking a way to get back to normal. But what if normal just isn't an option anymore? Don't miss this wild fantasy by the award-winning author of My Favorite Band Does Not Exist, which won the Forward National Literature Award and was named a Top Ten First Novel for Youth by Booklist. Reviews "Robert Jeschonek is the literary love child of Tim Burton and Neil Gaiman. His fiction is cutting edge, original, and pulsing with dark and fantastical life." – Adrian Phoenix, critically acclaimed author of The Maker's Song series and Black Dust Mambo "Robert Jeschonek is a towering talent." – Mike Resnick, Hugo and Nebula Award-winning author "Jeschonek ́s stories are delightfully insane, a pleasure to read..." – Fabio Fernandes, Fantasy Book Critic

Unbullied

Unbullied
Author: Robert Jeschonek
Publisher: Robert Jeschonek
Total Pages: 369
Release: 2012-05-22
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
ISBN: 1370546327

Sixteen-year-old Charlie West has nowhere left to turn. A cyberstalker named Conscience has made her life a nightmare, bullying her by remote control. But in Charlie’s darkest hour, she discovers Nil, a radical underground movement using guerilla tactics to crush the worst bullies around. Charlie joins Nil and works high-risk missions, taking down bullies while playing a deadly cat-and-mouse game with her stalker. But when a trusted ally betrays Nil from within, Charlie must stand alone against Conscience...and her high-stakes war against the ultimate bully might just force her to make the ultimate sacrifice. Don't miss this story by award-winning young adult writer Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected books that really pack a punch.

The Listened Heart

The Listened Heart
Author: Robert Jeschonek
Publisher: Pie Press
Total Pages: 37
Release: 2019-07-12
Genre: Fiction
ISBN:

In a war-torn world of tomorrow, the warlord known as Paragon Hammer relies on Jocelyn, a mindreading "listener," to ease his guilt and enable his atrocities. But visions of his downfall come to pass and upset the balance of power between them forever. Trapped underground during an uprising, Hammer must overcome his inner darkness and learn to truly listen in order to save Jocelyn’s life and perhaps regain his kingdom. Will Hammer give up everything he’s fought for to find the love that’s been in front of him all along? Can Jocelyn help him find a new beginning, or will his violent ways tear them apart in the end? Only by listening to the unspoken secrets of their hearts can they hope to bring the true passion between them to life.

The Return of Alice

The Return of Alice
Author: Robert Jeschonek
Publisher: Robert Jeschonek
Total Pages: 67
Release: 2012-05-22
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1458169715

Alice has had a lousy life since she left Wonderland. All grown up and trapped in an uhappy marriage, she longs to escape. But when she finally manages to leap through the mirror, she gets one twisted shock after another. What ever happened to the crazy, charming Wonderland of her youth? This time, the Mad Hatter, Cheshire Cat, Mock Turtle, Humpty Dumpty, Tweedledum and Tweedledee are out for blood. Something has warped the magical mystery realm, sending Alice reeling from one close shave to the next. And when she gets her day in the Queen of Hearts' court, the verdict could be even more awful than "Off with her head!" Can a grown-up Alice survive the nightmare and escape her demented Wonderland? Or would she be better off staying in the lesser of two hells? The trip home could be a real killer. Don't miss this twisted dark fantasy tale from award-winning storyteller Robert T. Jeschonek, a master of mind-bending fantasy and horror.

The Sword That Spoke

The Sword That Spoke
Author: Robert Jeschonek
Publisher: Robert Jeschonek
Total Pages: 36
Release: 2012-05-22
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1465879579

Once upon a time, the sword Tizona helps the warrior knight El Cid cut a swath through the Moors invading Spain. But El Cid doesn't know the great sword's secret: that it has a mind of its own and talks only to his beautiful wife, Jimena. Together, Tizona and Jimena help El Cid wage his battles, until a demon of war takes possession of his body and soul. When woman and blade unite, can they free the legendary hero from the demon's wicked clutches? Or will the shadow of the horrors of war overcome all of them? Perhaps, in the sword's cryptic prophecy, lies a secret that will turn the tables of history, love, and death. Don't miss this edgy, exciting, and surprising fantasy tale by award-winning storyteller Robert T. Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected fantasy that really packs a punch.

The Merchant of Elves

The Merchant of Elves
Author: Robert Jeschonek
Publisher: Robert Jeschonek
Total Pages: 40
Release: 2018-07-17
Genre: Fiction
ISBN:

Asa makes a living as a fixer, pretending to intercede with elves she doesn't believe in to keep construction projects running smoothly in tourist-booming Iceland. Most everyone believes in the "Hidden People" except her…but that changes when she unexpectedly leaps into a magical realm. The impact of her work ends up biting her in the butt, as unruly supernatural figures make extreme demands…and issue extraordinary threats to back them up. Can Asa keep elves and humanity from lashing out at each other by making an unprecedented deal to save them all? If her skills as a salesperson can't cut it, ancient magic could bring the modern world to its knees and expose dark secrets that are better left hidden forever.

The Bear in the Cable-Knit Sweater

The Bear in the Cable-Knit Sweater
Author: Robert Jeschonek
Publisher: Robert Jeschonek
Total Pages: 27
Release: 2012-12-12
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1301991597

The burly, furry members of the International Bear Brotherhood can't resist a pitcher of beer or a knock-down-drag-out bar brawl. But the fun's over when one of their own disappears without a trace, causing his lover, Angus, to set out on a quest to find him at any cost. Hairy as a real bear because of a medical condition, Angus roams the urban wilderness like a grizzly on the trail...until the trail finally leads him into a nightmare world where everything he knows and loves is on the line. Transformed in ways he never imagined, Angus faces a savage end unless he can rise up to claim the heritage that only a Bear like him could ever hope to master. Don't miss this surprising story by award-winning writer Robert T. Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected fantasy that really packs a punch. Contents Short story plus novel preview Reviews "Robert Jeschonek is the literary love child of Tim Burton and Neil Gaiman." – Adrian Phoenix, critically acclaimed author of The Maker's Song series and Black Dust Mambo "Robert Jeschonek is a towering talent." – Mike Resnick, Hugo and Nebula Award-winning author "Jeschonek ́s stories are delightfully insane, a pleasure to read." – Fabio Fernandes, Fantasy Book Critic

And the Unicorn You Rode In On

And the Unicorn You Rode In On
Author: Robert Jeschonek
Publisher: Robert Jeschonek
Total Pages: 39
Release: 2018-11-18
Genre: Fiction
ISBN:

An elf cowboy on a fool’s errand to the Old West town of Desperation, Arizona hunts a faerie bandit queen with a powerful relic in her clutches...but his unicorn steed faces the greater test. The one-horned magical stallion pursues the runaway love of his life, a chase that pits him against brutal men and beasts alike. What he finds at the end of the trail will change his fate and that of the Wild West forever.

How To Save the Worlds Without a Proper Map

How To Save the Worlds Without a Proper Map
Author: Robert Jeschonek
Publisher: Robert Jeschonek
Total Pages: 44
Release: 2023-11-10
Genre: Fiction
ISBN:

Thanks to a rare condition, Desiree can hardly find her way across her own apartment without getting lost. How can she possibly navigate an alien environment and save two worlds from a powerful entity before time runs out? Destiny—and a blue-skinned warrior dropped in her living room—chooses her to bring salvation against all odds, aided by an enchanted and unconventional map…but what good will it do in the face of her condition? Lost in an unknown war zone, pursued by the evil Negatithesis, Desiree must battle her flawed sense of direction to try to save her own world and one other, all while confronting the tragic failure of a past for which she has no map of redemption.

Getting Higher

Getting Higher
Author: Robert Jeschonek
Publisher: Robert Jeschonek
Total Pages: 240
Release: 2012-05-22
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1465728988

Joe the small-town pot dealer is down on his luck. Broke, evicted, and framed for a rip-off he didn't commit, he loses everything, from his precious stash to his jerk of a best friend. It's time to turn over a new leaf or get smoked. But can Joe clean up his act, get a job, and keep a girlfriend without falling back into his old habits? Can he replace getting high with getting a higher purpose in life? Sweet dreams of the sweet leaf might just seduce him back to his chronic old ways.